This Week in Milford

October 8, 2011

The Shroud Of The Wildcat Has Fallen. Begun, This Snoozefest Has.

Filed under: comic crossovers, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, Uncategorized — nedryerson @ 8:58 am


“Do something about this kicking game, we must.”
“Why are you talking like that?”
“A Yoda thing, I am trying. Like it, do you?”
“Yeah. Hey thanks for your input. Look I gotta get somebody to explain Craig’s List to me. I think I’ll try to find a kicker on that. Then I’ll see if I can rent the movie Necessary Roughness. There was something in there about finding a hot chick to kick a ball.”
“There is no try…”
“Yeah, thanks Bill.”
“Wildcat, it is.”
“Okay, later I will smell you.”

Meanwhile, at Ed’s Diner…

Wildcat calls an impromptu meeting of his Booster inner circle. Soon, Gina the waitress will probably tell him to shut up because he’s disturbing the other diners with his blather. He’ll complain to Gina because everyone at the table has been nursing one cup of coffee and a couple bottles of Tabasco for an hour and a half.

“When I was captain of the Wildcats, I never waited for a refill!”
“Kiss my grits, Wildcat.”

Meanwhile, Gil stumbles aimlessly toward the next plot point with a lunch tray full of lunacy.


  1. Gil’s lunch: a whopping great bowl of popcorn, a chicken potpie, and a thermos full of spiked coffee.

    And I’m SO glad I’m not the only one who thought of Yoda yesterday! (Sorry, Yoda.)

    Comment by jules — October 8, 2011 @ 11:32 am

  2. This “Wildcat” person is easily the most annoying character since Jungle Jim– no, sorry, “Ray of the Jungle”– a couple of basketball seasons back. Given the summer golf plot we need Molly Kinsella to show up, put her hands on Wildcat’s shoulders, smile fetchingly, and knee him in the balls.

    Comment by vaganova — October 8, 2011 @ 6:20 pm

  3. Don’t you wish that Wildcat played for the Dorchester Douchebags? or the Avon assholes? perhaps the Farmington Fucksticks?

    Comment by Knoxy — October 9, 2011 @ 4:50 am

  4. Wildcat,what an a-hole. I can see Gil ordering a hit on him soon. Or perhaps his booster club buddies will get sick of his sanctimonious drivel and do a Julius Caesar on him.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — October 9, 2011 @ 7:53 am

  5. I predict Kaz will do a little digging and find out that “Wildcat” was really a scrub on his team, and Gil will call him on it at a board meeting (“doing a Hobart”).

    And what is DD up to these days? Too many undeveloped storylines to follow.

    Comment by Milfordian — October 10, 2011 @ 6:13 am

  6. I’m with Knoxy. We know Bill isn’t a local or he’d be calling himself “Mudlark.”

    But hey, is that Ed’s Funky Diner?

    Comment by delvaldawg — October 10, 2011 @ 6:25 am

  7. Turns out the Brodster is incapable of kicking in front of people, so they have to clear the stands when he takes the field…I see alot of ‘Delay of game” penalties in Gils’ future…

    Comment by Knoxy — October 10, 2011 @ 7:27 am

  8. Knoxy, maybe they could solve this problem by handing out blindfolds at the entrance, and making everyone put them on when Brody kicks. The trick would be getting them to take them off again, I suppose…

    Comment by jules — October 10, 2011 @ 7:36 am

  9. Yoda-cat in 10/7, panel 1: “My finger pull you must.”

    Is Brody Abro the one prophesied to restore balance to Milford’s kicking game? I sense much fear in him.

    Comment by Dood — October 10, 2011 @ 7:39 am

  10. … and worse, he’ll kick the ball then play with his own pair.

    Comment by semperfi4evr — October 10, 2011 @ 7:41 am

  11. Totally missed 10/7, panel 2: “The hand, talk to it.”

    Comment by delvaldawg — October 10, 2011 @ 7:56 am

  12. There’s nothing finer than boosters griping at Ed’s Diner.

    Comment by Dood — October 10, 2011 @ 8:15 am

  13. #6 devaldawg: Re: Ed’s Funky Diner That’s a blast from the past. I’ve had the CD with that song since ’87ish!

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — October 10, 2011 @ 9:42 am

  14. Glad to see Gil working on his mime skills. He’s almost got the invisible-box routine down.

    Comment by Dood — October 10, 2011 @ 10:08 am

  15. I go way back with Milford Football, back before Wally Lamb. I’ve never heard of a Bill “Wildcat” Maris, all-state or all-stink. What th’? This asshole is trying to outdo that crooked ass golfer, Peake, I think it was. Torrey “Torrid” Peake really put the ass in assassin. In any event, what kind of grown man calling himself “Wildcat” and expecting everyone to do the same. Gil just drunkenly laughs it off, but if Maris pulled that shit on Kaz, he would be all “Former Lineman, Former Bouncer” on Maris before Gil could take another gulp.But, yeah, this Wildcat guy’s a real creep. The way he’s going, he’ll be cheezin’ with Marty Moon before the season is over. I think he’s really betting on the games and losing his shirt because, without a kicker of any worth, Milford ain’t beatin’ the spread.

    Comment by sgtsaunders — October 10, 2011 @ 11:38 am

  16. #13 Ned: Decent CD, creepy cover art, and one of the all-time greatest road trip songs in “Driving Away From Home.”

    Comment by delvaldawg — October 10, 2011 @ 12:04 pm

  17. I never argue with sergeants, and with Sgt Saunders one need not anyway. Perhaps he too has noticed the string of antagonists who’ve turned our stomachs the past few years– Ray of the Jungle, Peake the Cheat, Hobart, and now this Maris asshole. It may go all the way back to Dr Pearl’s predecessor, the case of arrested development who never recovered from the fact Gil was a better athlete than he was while they were at State. The category known as “middle aged white men” may be a good place to go looking for insecure jerk-offs, but the pattern is getting predictable.

    Comment by vaganova — October 10, 2011 @ 2:21 pm

  18. […] got Gil lathered up more: Kaz’s gun show, his own puny bicep curls, or memories of Hobart, Bill “Wildcat” Maris or some other pains in the ass on the Booster Club/School Board who’ll try to meddle in his […]

    Pingback by Come for the Gun Show, Stay for the Hypotheticals | This Week in Milford — March 11, 2017 @ 12:02 pm

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