This Week in Milford

March 8, 2012

Pants-poopingly Shockingful Revelations of a Midwestern-Visiting Nature!

Filed under: actual action, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp, What the hell is going on here? — jasbeattie @ 7:50 pm


My God! When something close to…well something happens around here, it warrants a post all of its own…So without further ado, here is a countdown of the 5 most shocking revelations in today’s comic (from least shockingest to most pants-poopingly shockingful…)

  1. Ransom Hale is not that guy’s real name and he’s not from New Zealand.
    Not in the least-bit shocking. What dude from New Zealand would ever bother with a tank town like Milford? (With the possible exception of a highly intoxicated Russell Crowe on his fightin’ ’round the world tour?)
  2. We did some checking and Rupert Hall’s favorite quotations vary.
    Well, I guess he can change his mind sometimes. But still, a bit shocking.
  3. Walk-ins welcome.
    And here I thought I had to make an appointment to get a Mudlark tattooed on my ass.
  4. Kaz still fits in his leather jacket and skinny jeans he’s had since he attended college in the 1950s.
    Unless that’s the outfit he wore to “Fonzie-fest 2007”. He’ll never tell.
  5. Gil has been to Dayton, Ohio!
    The biggest bombshell in years…Previously only known to frequent Milford, sketchy Central City bars, and the occasional drunken flight to Kalamazoo, Coach Thorp is more worldly that we thought, having visited Dayton, “Home of Rob Lowe….oh and Chad, too” Ohio, now makes him the third-most well traveled Milford coach, behind Kaz and that damned Commie soccer coach that wouldn’t let Gil steal his players last fall.

Stay tuned for more shocking possible revelations, answers to questions like “So what’s the deal with those ‘bootleg’ DVDs?” and “Can Jason really post three times in one week like he did in the good old days?”


  1. Does Kitten know??

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — March 9, 2012 @ 7:33 am

  2. The last time a stranger wandered into town, misrepresented who he was, and exerted influence over Gil’s players… Gil made him an assistant coach and gave him a letter jacket. Coach Thorp is nothing if not inconsistent.

    Comment by billytheskink — March 9, 2012 @ 7:48 am

  3. Wow Jason, like I said yesterday there is so much awesomeness in this strip! Between Gil outing Rupert as a phony kiwi, Kaz in his “Danny Zucco” Grease regional theater outfit and Kitten’s “WTF” look, I think we have a winner for “Strip of the Year”. (If you were still doing that LOL.)

    Why is Gil all PO’d now about bootleg DVDs? Is he mad because of the crap quality of the Dirty Girl or is he mad because he thought DIrty Girl was something else altogether?

    I think Gil’s going to hand out the “Right First ‘O Justice” (Copyright: Mark Trail) to Ransom/Rupert.

    Comment by Regina — March 9, 2012 @ 8:10 am

  4. I’d assume this was leading to something really shocking — for instance, Rupert is wanted in nine states — but for the fact that I know how this strip works. We’re in for a letdown.

    Speaking of which… the March 9 strip. Bleah.

    Comment by John S. Walters — March 9, 2012 @ 8:33 am

  5. Is Gil going to go rub Parker’s face in it some more?

    “Hey Preston, remember all those tattoos you got from that “bad ass Kiwi army guy”? Hah! He’s just a schmuck from Dayton! Bet you feel dumb now!”
    “It’s Parker, Coach.”
    “Oh yeah, whatever. Hey, do you play baseball? I think that starts soon.”

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — March 9, 2012 @ 8:42 am

  6. Dumbest storyline ever. Oh wait, there are so many contendahs.

    Comment by Dood — March 9, 2012 @ 9:18 am

  7. Sigh… too late with the post JB… I’ve already soiled myself. #;-o

    Comment by semperfi4evr — March 9, 2012 @ 9:21 am

  8. Well, shit fire and save matches. Here I was all ready for Mimi’s girls to start wandering in to get Coke Box bikini tattoos and now Gil-again comes in to bust up the joint. Oh YAH, he does. Kaz, too, is just itchin’ to put his fist elbow-deep in that bogus Kiwi’s face, without so much as an “Ease up, Friend”, and Gil is gonna make Rupert throw him out (see 3/9 strip). Now Kitten’s looking a little nervous. There’s an outside chance Gil is about to get shot.
    By the way, what the hell is that thing in front of Gil in P3? Did he bring his little robot sidekick Gil2Kaz2? Looks like one of his ears is a set of skateboard wheels and the other is a beer can.

    Comment by sgtsaunders — March 9, 2012 @ 9:26 am

  9. I’m kind of ticked off that Gil came to Dayton and didn’t call. Whatever. (To be precise, I live in the progressive community of Trotwood. You can look it up on Wikipedia.) He’s right about how we sound. Actually, we run around saying things like, “HRONK!” and “FOOZLE!” Bonk!

    Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — March 9, 2012 @ 11:18 am

  10. I thought “visiting Dayton” was a sexy-time thing between Gil and Mimi.

    Comment by Dood — March 9, 2012 @ 12:54 pm

  11. I have not seen the 3/9 strip yet (I was driving through snow showers on the way back from Boston) but thought of Ransom’s apparent “real” name Rupert Hall and wondered if other northeasterners remembered the old Robert Hall radio ads. It would be wonderful if Robert Hall ended up in MIlford tattooing kids under false pretenses, as if Crazy Eddie were to resurface in New Mexico selling waxings.

    Comment by vaganova — March 9, 2012 @ 5:00 pm

  12. Is Rupert going bald or is there a reason we don’t see him on Fridays??? You’re going to love Gil on the 9ths strip. He said he served??? when during WWII or the Crimean War???

    Comment by Clinton Parks — March 9, 2012 @ 6:17 pm

  13. LOL Vaganova, as a fellow “Noo Yawker”, I do remember the Robert Hall commercials! Also crazy Eddie “His Prices are INSAAAAANE!” I wonder if I can get “Robert Hall” to tattoo the CalDor sign on me (another defunct northeast store.)

    Comment by Regina — March 9, 2012 @ 6:22 pm

  14. I like how Gil’s gettin’ all tough into today’s strip. He comes in someone’s place of business and dispenses his own brand of justice and the cops back him up. BTW why aren’t the cops shutting Rupert Everett’s store??? They’re even more lazy than Gil.

    Comment by Regina — March 9, 2012 @ 6:24 pm

  15. CalDor, Regina? And Phil Rizzuto doing spots on WPIX for The Money Store?

    “Schoolbells ringing, children singing,
    Back to Robert Hall again…”

    Stop me before I begin quoting from Rhinegold commercials…

    Comment by vaganova — March 9, 2012 @ 6:48 pm

  16. Today’s strip is even better than yesterday’s! Whatever the hell Rupert is up to with those movies doesn’t appear to be any more illegal than tattooing people over the age of 18. But Gil’s still gonna get Kaz to put the hurt on him.

    And Sgt Saunder, #8 – I thought I was the only person left on earth who said “shit fire and save matches”! I salute you, sir.

    Comment by jules — March 9, 2012 @ 6:52 pm

  17. Vaganova, Regina – I lived in upstate NY when I was a tiny child! I don’t remember Robert Hall or Caldor, but I remember Crazy Eddie and Phil Rizzuto. And shopping at the Price Chopper. I remember the tune that played at the end of Yankees games on whatever channel that was, and I can still sing the entire “Meet the Mets” song. I’ll sing it while we’re dancing on the table!

    Comment by jules — March 9, 2012 @ 6:57 pm

  18. Jules, Regina– either of your remember the WABC ball-bouncing contest? I remember that if as you supplied the winning answer, a fat man jumped out of a taxi and shouted “mustard,” you won double…

    I’l find a way to relate this to Milford and the heartland, I swear.

    Comment by vaganova — March 9, 2012 @ 9:36 pm

  19. Jason and Ned: with so much excellence going on in the strip now (I am contemplating staying up another hour until midnight so I can read Saturday’s Gil-venture), how about a dueling Saturday blog of awesome snarking?

    Comment by Milfordian — March 9, 2012 @ 10:51 pm

  20. How awesome would it be if it turned out the tattoos were really just painted?!

    Comment by Marty Moon Fan Club #1 — March 10, 2012 @ 12:24 am

  21. I remember the Phil Rizzuto commercials, but not the boucing ball. Do remember the Rheingold commercials. God, I’m getting old.

    Comment by Regina — March 10, 2012 @ 6:28 am

  22. […] attempt-to-be-cartoonishly one-dimensional evil [but really just selling retail DVDs] Ransom Hale/Rubert Hall. So how many more  days until these spiteful biddies are beaten into […]

    Pingback by A year of cartoonishly one-dimensional evil non-Marty Moons? Bring on boring golf! « This Week in Milford — June 12, 2012 @ 11:11 am

  23. […] was no such person as Carter Hendricks until two years ago. Before then, he was known as Jami Thorp Rupert Hall. No, he’ll end being someone else – Henry Carter or some such – who played for […]

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