My goodness, that is one ginormous toddler! If that kid is theoretically less than 3 years old, I’d suspect he’s suffering from a serious pituitary gland disorder. Not to mention I’m genuinely horrified at his second-panel glassy-eyed, three-teeth-centered-in-his-mouth grin. One can only guess at what sort of disturbing guttural noise he might be making in order to acknowledge approval of his mother’s softball try-out. Perhaps he was created as part of a laboratory experiment in order to clone quickly-growing Thorp children, and Darby is just his surrogate mom.
Also, Jaxon, with an X? Really? Helpful hint to new parents out there: Don’t try to be all cute and give your kid a name with a wacky alternate spelling that nobody expects. You may think you’re being clever, but you’re just setting your children up for a lifetime of people misspelling and mangling their name. If I didn’t already suspect this Jaxon creature was the spawn of Chucky and a possessed Cabbage Patch doll, I wouldn’t be surprised for him to take an ackse to his entire sicksth grade class when he had to ecksplain for the thousandth time…”No, it’s Jaxon with an X, motha-f***as!!!”
“But Mom, why would you want to watch
the science experiment my son for ten hours a day instead of only nine?”
“It’s OK, honey. When he’s busy plotting the murder of all the townspeople, I want to keep an eye on him…and stay on his good side.”
“Well he’s already nearly 4 feet tall. Why not let him play shortstop? At this point, Jackson is the same height, attractiveness and athletic skill level as the rest of our team!”
“No, it’s Jaxon with an X, motha-f***as!!!”