This Week in Milford

July 12, 2012

Haiku-o-rama! (…or what the hell happened to that guy with the beard?)

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Gil Thorp, golf — jasbeattie @ 3:16 pm

When nothing happens
for four days, it means one thing:


The last time Coach Thorp
did any double-bagging,
no golf was involved.


One gaping plot hole:
There’s no way in hell that Gil
knows players’ last names.

Noah knows his way
around a dark gaping hole.
“Insert your balls here.”


When an old man asks:
“How’s your big , bulky brother?”
Run! Creeper alert.

Meanwhile, Noah has
dragged his balls out of the hole
and into the box.


What’s with this guy, Steve?
Grew a beard, moved to woods, where
Mark Trail punched his face.

Then Gil goes running,
with some underage blond chick
and Bill Clinton’s shorts.


  1. Y’know, when I hear athletes reminisce about their favorite coaches, I always hear stories about how dear ol’ Coach Moe always found time to keep in touch with his players, that he considered them all like family. And here’s Gil, barely able to recollect Steve Boone’s name, let alone dredge up any coherent details about his post-high school life. “He went to Kent State, graduated, and… I think he died or something.”

    Speaking of neglect, how long has it been now since we’ve seen any trace of the Thorp offspring?

    Comment by John Walters (@johnswalters) — July 12, 2012 @ 3:22 pm

  2. I found a reference to Steve Boone in the comments here (during Clambake’s visit, no less):

    Apparently he played for Milford in 2004, although the archives don’t seem to go back that far.

    Comment by Scott P. — July 12, 2012 @ 3:59 pm

  3. I immediately noticed the family resemblance between Steve and Noah: They both have those leftover eraser bits from sloppy drawing by the artist under their eyes.

    Comment by J.D. Springer — July 12, 2012 @ 4:57 pm

  4. Keep Mark trail out of this! With the Kent State shout-out, I think the Thorpiverse is on a collision course with the Funkiverse. Cancer, amputations and PTSD to follow.

    Comment by teenchy — July 12, 2012 @ 5:45 pm

  5. Huh.

    Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — July 12, 2012 @ 6:11 pm

  6. Steve the janitor?
    No – another Gil project.
    Rick Scott’s replacement.

    Comment by Milfordian — July 12, 2012 @ 7:35 pm

  7. Gil’s former players
    Don’t amount to anything
    And neither does Gil!

    Comment by MilfordianGtwilliamsin — July 12, 2012 @ 7:39 pm

  8. Steve’s piss because he majored in Ethiopian folk music and can’t find a job.

    Comment by Knoxy — July 13, 2012 @ 6:32 am

  9. Well when Kenny Rogers passes he’s a shoo in for a legends show.

    Comment by semperfi4evr — July 13, 2012 @ 6:46 am

  10. Regina! We were right about “Caddyshack!” Have a look at the caddy master in the 7/13 strip!

    Comment by vaganova — July 13, 2012 @ 7:37 am

  11. Steve Boone was known for
    Blowing people off the line
    Was not too bright, though

    Steve usually
    hung out with Reggie Evans
    They stole Von’s french fries

    Reggie would crack wise
    About Steve being stupid
    Which pissed off Von H

    Comment by billytheskink — July 13, 2012 @ 9:59 am

  12. “Saddle up big man!”
    Nick Zollar said to Steve once
    Context is needed

    Four colleges ask
    to see Steve’s tape,
    I think more
    Context is needed

    Noogies for Haney
    Now we know that the famous
    STATE is Kent State U

    Comment by billytheskink — July 13, 2012 @ 10:00 am

  13. Reggie comes around
    About attending college
    Thanks to Steve’s success

    Reappearing in
    This strip, worse than working at
    Yes, indeed

    The past few years of
    Gil Thorp story lines deserve
    A Steve Boone facepalm

    Comment by billytheskink — July 13, 2012 @ 10:01 am

  14. Steve Boone was a lineman back in 2004, and bulked up on other people’s french fries. Here’s a link to his intoductory strip.

    Comment by milfordpubster — July 13, 2012 @ 10:35 am

  15. Milfordpubster, you are a wonder to come up with the introductory Steve Boone strip. Maybe you know the answer to this one too: if it’s the same Rubin/Whigham team doing the present strip, why are the drawings so much better?

    Comment by vaganova — July 13, 2012 @ 1:09 pm

  16. Rubin was, I believe, in his first year of writing the strip back in 2004 when Steve Boone was first introduced, having taken over from Jerry B. Jenkins in the spring of that year. Whigham wasn’t the artist, though, it was Frank McLaughlin back then.

    Comment by billytheskink — July 13, 2012 @ 2:10 pm

  17. OK, Haiku favorite! I have to break it up in two parts in homage to Neil Young’s fsmoud song about Kent State:

    Tin soidiers and Steve
    Boone coming we still have no
    plot at all-summer

    Is so mind numbing
    Three years of boring golf plot
    Gil’s drunk in Milford

    Comment by reginathenydiva — July 14, 2012 @ 6:29 am

  18. Steve Boone, filthy bum,
    Gil making creepy comments,
    Run Noah Boone, Run!

    Comment by reginathenydiva — July 14, 2012 @ 6:32 am

  19. LOL vaganova

    Comment by reginathenydiva — July 14, 2012 @ 6:33 am

  20. Ok one more and I’m done..I have to catch up with everybody!

    Fake Kiwi Ransom
    Dirty, scurvy, Stevie Boone
    Milford-insane town.

    Comment by reginathenydiva — July 14, 2012 @ 6:35 am

  21. The moment we dread
    Comes once more in summertime
    It’s Steve not Luhm but Boone.

    Comment by vaganova — July 14, 2012 @ 8:50 pm

  22. Drunken, lazy Gil
    Boring ass golf plot again
    Welcome to summer.

    Comment by reginathenydiva — July 15, 2012 @ 6:24 am

  23. It’s all in place now,
    All but the blockhead adult
    Oh, I forgot: Gil!

    Comment by vaganova — July 15, 2012 @ 8:56 am

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