This Week in Milford

July 15, 2012

You Can Be Replaced By Golf Carts.

Filed under: bizarre cameos, Gil Thorp, golf, Milford Weirdos — nedryerson @ 12:29 pm


Cameo Alert: It’s Lou Loomis,  the Caddy master from Caddyshack.

Molly’s more than happy to caddy for Dr. Scavuzzo (who golfs with pigs). She’s going to fleece him for everything he’s got. She’s also putting one over on Noah Boone. Mr. Padgett tips with pocket change and Certs (also from his pocket).

Meanwhile, back at the Boone house, it’s week two of What the Hell is Wrong With Steve? We don’t know, but we do know that he’s heard of Molly Kinsella, most likely thanks to the cardboard bikini picture.


Oh yeah, her name was in the sports section. So memorable. Who could forget? Bub-bye now Steve.

“Mom, what do we do about Steve?”
“I don’t know, Kenny. I’m out of ideas.”
“Why did you call me Kenny? My name is Noah.”
“Oh right. Kenny was the loser kid in last summer’s story, with the lush for a mom, which isn’t me. I’m the mom with a hobo son hiding out in the bedroom and another son getting fleeced down at the country club.”
“What are you talking about, mom? What do you mean summer story?”
“Oh, sorry Norbert. Mrs. Lark came by earlier and we had a few hard lemonades and I’m a little mixed up. Plus I found your brother in here earlier drinking all of my fabric softener.”
“You look a little tired Mom. Why don’t you take it easy for a bit?”
“I can’t take it easy! Between washing your brother’s gamey sheets everyday and trying to keep up with all the ‘dirty socks’ I find under your bed, I’m working my freaky fingers to the bone.”
“Okay, Mom. Maybe I’ll ask Coach Thorp to see if he can figure out What the Hell is Wrong With Steve?
“Well, okay Niles, but I think he’s scheduled to stop by sometime around the middle of August to look into that.”
“Mom? Have you been taking your medicine?”
“Run along Nelson. Mommy’s busy. Have fun with your FOOZLE.”


  1. Wounded Warrior or Football-related Repetitive Head Injury syndrome? Which will it be? Only time will tell. I’m betting Wounded Warrior.

    Comment by Joe Sharkey — July 15, 2012 @ 3:20 pm

  2. No way…..he did time in the crowbar Hilton, the house of many doors, the Milford State Pen……He kidnapped the Throp kids and offed Mr. Baskt….

    Comment by Knoxy — July 15, 2012 @ 4:02 pm

  3. You’re both right. Steve’s a Wounded Warrior who went to the Milford State Pen after stealing a case of Nut Boys. They’re shitty! HRONK! FOOZLE! Huh.

    Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — July 15, 2012 @ 9:35 pm

  4. Run, Molly, run! The mention of your name stirs up unfamiliar feelings in the heart of a PTSD sufferer/drug addict/or possibly blogger. Whatever, get the hell out of town before Steve makes a reservation for you at Uncle Touchy’s Puzzle Basement!

    Comment by John Walters (@johnswalters) — July 16, 2012 @ 12:58 am

  5. Have to agree, John Walters: Molly is that rarest of Milfordians– a healthy, normal kid– and as such we need to look out for her.

    Comment by vaganova — July 16, 2012 @ 5:22 am

  6. So Charles Bloom’s 4 long years of turmoil under Gil’s coaching netted him nothing but passing (he was a QB) mentions each season, and no post-graduation storylines. Steve Boone and Molly Kinsella combined to put in half the years of sports service that Bloom did, and yet, were major factors in storylines both in school and out of it.

    Somewhere in STATE, Charles Bloom is smiling, thinking about how lucky he is to have gotten out of Milford without drawing the detrimental attention of the Thorps.

    Comment by billytheskink — July 16, 2012 @ 6:59 am

  7. Speaking of hobo sons hiding out in bedrooms, what’s up with Marty Moon this summer? Is he working on the Valley Conference Strat cards for this fall’s football season?

    Does Mrs. Boone use Calgon? Ancient Milford secret, huh?

    Poor, Molly. Just when you think you’re out, they pull you back in.

    This summer’s storyline: All About Steve.

    Comment by Dood — July 16, 2012 @ 9:53 am

  8. why does steve look like beach boy dennis wilson hours after they pulled him out of the ocean . dam that mom is a mess but those 2 kids no wonder

    Comment by mr12ozcan — July 16, 2012 @ 8:08 pm

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