This Week in Milford

November 3, 2012

Motorcade Of Passion


“Hey Doyle”
“Hey, other guy. Ya wanna hear my latest scheme?”
“Do I have any choice?”
“Well I got us a couple of nun’s habits and a bullwhip…”

We interrupt this comic strip to bring you one delightful panel of the passion that can only exist between a girl and a delicious patty melt. She wraps her rapturous fingers around that lightly grilled sourdough bun which in turn caresses eight sumptuous ounces of the best charbroiled hunk of what can be referred to by law as beef. Zippy the Pinhead, what are you doing here? I thought you had to drive your Nash Metropolitan through the Delegates’ Lounge at the United Nations? Nice wig, it almost subtly disguises your disfigurement.

Excuse me, Doyle Dane over here. I’m advancing the plot with more of my master plan to elevate the Irish kid to Homecoming Court. If I can achieve that, I can do anything. I might even be able to get Mia Meeks to look at me without giving me the finger. Now if you’re through with your perverse hamburger commercial over there, I’ve got a butt load of marketing stuff to do.

Excuse us, Doyle, but you’re just shoveling shit. This chick over here is selling this patty melt!

Steaming towards Midweek…

“Ha Ha Ha, because we both live on Beech Street!”


Ah yes, the dreaded tonsil hockey triangle, the cause of over thirty percent of all violent incidents at Homecoming. Wait, two more? Okay, I’m going to need a compass and one of those nice soft leaded pencils so I can inscribe a tonsil hockey parallelogram on some butcher’s paper.


C’mon Terry! Wave to Mr. Zapruder!

Now, we find that the driver of the car is Doyle Dane in a wig. He’s nabbing Gallagher to take him out in the woods to force him to reveal the location of his pot of gold. Then Terry will ease Cyndy Canty to womanhood while they’re both chained to a log in the deep woods, why Doyle dances in front of a mirror by candlelight in a nearby decaying trapper’s cabin.

Blogger note: When I saw the girl rapturously eating that hamburger in panel 2 of the 11/1 strip, the first thing I thought of was a scene from the movie Showgirls, where Elizabeth Berkley devours a hamburger. I mean, she attacks the thing. I wanted to find an image of that on the web. I can’t believe I could find that. I guess most searchers are satisfied with several shots of her licking a stripper pole. Personally, I find that the hamburger eating has more artistic merit than any other shot in that movie.




  1. 11/1 – Two finalists? They had a runoff vote? Did Terry learn at that point that he was on the ballot?

    Comment by Dale — November 3, 2012 @ 8:41 pm

  2. Doyle Dung rigged it somehow and paired Gallagher with the favorite?

    I love your hamburger riff, Ned, but the perspective in 11/1 p 2 makes it look like she’s going to either smear it on her cheek or stick it in her ear. Ice cream cone to the forehead has already been done?

    More to the point, our Irish safety is now fully complicit with Dung. So much for his being a sympathetic character. This plot has gone off the rails in record time.

    Comment by vaganova — November 3, 2012 @ 10:07 pm

  3. why waste time with tonsil hockey with maggie weibe ? go find teen mom and pop it right in . plus when will chip visis biggest fan appear again ?

    Comment by mr12ozcan — November 4, 2012 @ 5:57 am

  4. “Dunno what yer talkin’ about with that tonsil hockey stuff — I’ve never even put on a pair o’ skates. As for the girls, well, I’ve just been fuckin’ ’em blind.”

    Comment by John Walters (@johnswalters) — November 4, 2012 @ 2:35 pm

  5. Look at Marty’s starship parked in the background of 11/3 panel one.

    Is there any hronk-ing in football?

    Comment by Dood — November 5, 2012 @ 8:34 am

  6. Dood, that’s no starship – I think that’s supposed to be the 40-yard-line of Milford’s football field. Rising at a 45-degree angle from the plane of the sidelines, it’s even more steeply pitched than the bleachers.

    No wonder Gil’s teams never make the playdowns; they’re running uphill just to get on the field! Drainage must be pretty good though.

    Comment by teenchy — November 6, 2012 @ 6:06 am

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