“The offensive line? Which ones are those? Those guys what throw all the flags at me? Those stripes are pretty offensive, but I’ve never seen them in a line. And who are you again? Where’d that other guy go, the older guy with the face like a clenched fist? He’s the one that told me to go out there and run around and hit people. I’m not sure I much like your pansy game anyway, Coach Freckles.”
Oooo, snappy inner thought comeback, Irish kid. There’s also an I in impetigo, Steve. Maybe you should have a doctor look at your face. Maybe wash down those tackling dummies too.
Later… in the library, Terry Gallagher, with the plastic novelty hand. Is this the part where I yell “Clue” ? (I can’t remember how that game was played.)
“It’s annoying some people, like that guy you’ve been bearding around, what’s ‘is name, Cheep? Also that one armed guy with all the spots on his mug. Oh yeah and the zebra stripe guys. Plus that Dan Douche guy is annoying me with some jibba jabba I don’t even understand, but the ladies seem to be eating this act up with a spoon. That, my darling, is what I call a winning formula. Now if you didn’t call me here for a snog in Biographies, I think there’s a bird who’s keen for a bit of business over in Earth Sciences. Oh, and your eye looks funny. Don’t you people have National Health?”
Later…that’s okay, Cyndy. How were you supposed to know that he was really Iron Balls McGinty?