This Week in Milford

December 2, 2012

One Week Megapost Of Apathy

Filed under: actual action, Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, football, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — nedryerson @ 6:12 pm


Tied for first place in the Valley? OMG! Is Milford on the verge of winning title? We can barely contain our enthusiasm! Uh-oh! Some type of injury? OMG! Is Milford on the verge of not winning a title, aka doing what they have been doing forever?


Look at that sputtering offense! Is that guy sputter punting? Also, should there be some concern about losing Miles Paris to injury? We don’t know, because the relative skills and abilities of these players has taken a back seat to the Doyle Dane/Terry Gallagher Show this season.

aaaaand another “teachable moment”? Oh please, make this crap stop!


Seamless. Efficient. Anonymous. Boring. Unimaginative. Ho-hum. Repetitive. Trite. Punchless. Shallow.

Hey, are you pointing at us Boone? Should we “Go Milfo”?


“Hi, I’m Gil Thorp, your coach. You know, we might be able to win the conference title. Hey, has anything else been going on this season? Fill me in, guys.”
“Well, coach, Irish Kid started getting lots of…”

Meanwhile, this domestic scene at the Gallagher’s is sure to be enough to make us all want to abandon this strip and go get thoroughly banjaxed! (Then we’ll totally “go Milfo”!)


“Son, no offense, but you’re a tool. A banjaxed tool. I don’t know this Ding Dong guy or what his strategy might be, but if you’ve been listening to him up until now, he must be a tool too. Maybe you might want to stop listening to him.”
“But, he has multiple prongs!”
“Son, he sounds like a major prong, a banjaxed prong.”


Sincerity, eh? I’m sincerely banjaxed with these eejits. Snore.



  1. Does this work?
    The only cool kids at Milford are the athletes. Doyle is not an athlete and therefore not cool. (He is obnoxious.)
    If Doyle creates his own personal athlete, Terry, Doyle will then be cool by association

    Comment by Dale — December 2, 2012 @ 8:28 pm

  2. Given that it is already December with the Valley Tech game to play, a playdown appearance is not looking likely. That means the Mudlarks’ long winning streak against Tech is set to end.

    I stopped caring about the advertising agency of Eejit Gallagher Doyle and Dane weeks ago.

    Comment by billytheskink — December 3, 2012 @ 8:03 am

  3. Playdowns?! Are you kidding me?! Playdowns?!

    Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — December 3, 2012 @ 8:17 am

  4. I’ve been in a medically induced coma the last couple months….last thing I remember was some Irish kid coming to town. Just did the recap and asked to be put back under. Wake me when golf starts. Or Mr. Baskt returns. Or if there’s a sighting of the Thorp kids. Or if Mimi starts bumpin’ uglies with the one armed guy. Or if anything interesting happens……….

    Comment by Knoxy — December 3, 2012 @ 9:11 am

  5. I don’t know where all the ennui is coming from. Isn’t this exactly the sort of bizarre nonsensical plot that TWIM was created to mock? Once again, I declare this to be the most entertaining Gil Thorp plot of the last two years. Much better than Torrey Pines or even Cully Vale.

    Comment by Scott de B. — December 3, 2012 @ 11:11 am

  6. Irish Spring could have saved a heap o’ dough for the flowers if he’d merely given Dim Dung two black eyes in the middle of the cafeteria and called him out for abusing an ignorant immigrant.

    Comment by semperfi4evr — December 3, 2012 @ 3:44 pm

  7. Yay! Terry learns a lesson, goes with his heart and everybody likes him in the end. Now, lets show how that teamwork and selflessness pans out as the ‘Larks get pounded by those ne’er-do-wells at Valley Tech thus ushering in basketball season where the flamer and the Christer can lead the squad to a 3rd place finish.

    Comment by gwilo — December 3, 2012 @ 4:48 pm

  8. And Marjie returns with some glasses she got cheap on Black Friday, and need to be returned as they dont fit very well. She needs to get contacts for her profile shots.

    Comment by Rob — December 3, 2012 @ 6:54 pm

  9. Yeah, jumping ahead to 12/3 (I saw Rob’s post and agree on Marjie’s glasses even if the first thing I noticed was that she was holding a can of pepper spray on Gil.) But the real question is that while Terry may be able to paper over having pissed off every girl in Mfnrd, he has yet to address his more public blunder, costing his team a game via hot-dogging.

    Comment by vaganova — December 3, 2012 @ 11:52 pm

  10. Scott de B. – I’m just lazy. Crying about being bored is the go to excuse for not wanting to keep up with this blog.

    You analysis has merit. This plot is weird and random which does give us more grist for the mill.

    I’m still rather annoyed about Doyle Dane’s motivations being totally hidden up to this point, but I think I’d be repeating myself to elaborate on that, so instead, I’ll repeat other jokes. Gil gets drunk and doesn’t care enough to know kids names. Comedy gold.

    Speaking of Doyle Dane, I started rewatching one of my favorite movies of all time yesterday, Lost in America. There was a passing mention of Doyle Dane (the ad agency) in the scene with Albert Brooks, his boss and the “bald headed fart” from New York.

    Okay…the scene with Garry Marshall is actually the funniest thing ever…except now I’m so used to the Paul F. Tompkins impression of Garry Marshall that I find the real Garry Marshall to be lacking…but it’s still one of the funniest scenes in a very funny movie…please watch it everybody.

    Maybe I’ll post something before the big showdown with Valley Tech starts. Say, I wonder of those assholes from Valley Tech are thinking about starting some shit with spraypaint or tires or something.

    On edit: Yeah, the showdown has already started. And practically finished. Whatevs…

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — December 4, 2012 @ 8:52 am

  11. Does Marty collect a bonus for calling playdown games on WDIG? Is he also dying to make this call: “Hamani Gaines 20!”?

    Comment by Dood — December 4, 2012 @ 9:37 am

  12. Ned: Are you getting burned out? Do we need a fill-in for the fill-in for Jason?

    Comment by Scott de B. — December 4, 2012 @ 10:38 am

  13. Scott: No, just a little banjaxed is all. (HA HA HA!)

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — December 4, 2012 @ 10:59 am

  14. Look at the upside. We’re, what, only a few weeks away from the annual happy holidays strip with Gil and Mimi toasted on egg nog by an open fire and Lini Verde nipping at our noses. On second thought, pass the egg nog.

    Comment by Dood — December 4, 2012 @ 12:50 pm

  15. I’d shove those flowers up Terrys ass if I was Angie. “NOW lets see you do the Shamrock Shake!”

    Comment by Rob — December 4, 2012 @ 8:16 pm

  16. Dood, we should be making book on whether the Thorplings will appear in this year’s holiday strip or whether they have yet to return from the taxidermist. But you mention Lini Verde, one of the few truly interesting characters to appear in the past few years. Am I right that he was a junior the first year and a background figure last year? If so, he has presumably graduated, but it sure would be fun to have him at shooting guard and Terry Gallagher– the Irish kid who is automatically good at games he has never played before– at point guard. Sodom and Begorrah in the same backcourt?

    Comment by vaganova — December 4, 2012 @ 8:38 pm

  17. Unless the kids were buried with an entrenching tool, there’s no way they’re making it out of those graves, no matter how shallow they are. Let’s get an office pool together to see who guesses the call in todays strip. I’m going with too many Irishmen on the field.

    Comment by Knoxy — December 5, 2012 @ 7:21 am

  18. Sodom and begorrah
    Let the sportscaster play
    Cause I`m only gone tomorrow and here today
    Shout for all the people who have nothing to say
    Cause we’re only gone tomorrow and here today
    Sodom and begorrah…

    Comment by Dood — December 5, 2012 @ 8:54 am

  19. I’d be interested to see Gil enlist Terry Gallagher as a ringer for the Mudlark’s caber tossing team.

    Comment by Scott de B. — December 5, 2012 @ 3:45 pm

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