This Week in Milford

December 5, 2012

Attack Of The Shadow Turtle

Filed under: actual action, football, Gil Thorp — nedryerson @ 10:56 am


Yes, Terry pulling a little red wagon full of bouquets of flowers through the high school, distributing them to all of Milford’s irritated girls (along with trial sized tubes of Vagisil) is really the way to win them back! What do I know, I haven’t been in high school in almost thirty years. It seems to me though that if girls were getting bent out of shape about…wait what were they pissed about, whatever was in that social media campaign, oh who knows, suffice to say that they had cooled to Terry? What I’m trying to say is that Terry was openly playing the field and that didn’t seem to represent a problem with the girls. Is this the way it is, guys are all players and girls are fine being in the harem, or they’re all players too and it’s all just one big orgy? I dunno. Maybe Terry’s just an eejit. Let’s move on to Marjie.


Shorter Marjie: Even you shouldn’t screw this one up, Gil.

Wow, it get’s late early around here…dramatic tension!


Dramatic tension payoff aaaaaaaand….

WTF!? That ref is missing half his stripes! Where’d they go? Oh wait….PASS INTERFERENCE?What’s the meaning of this? Clearly you can see that, um, well, actually nothing is clear, so more dramatic tension and see what develops.

Is that Shadow Eejit in Panel 1, bursting out of the frame? Very turtle-y.



  1. “And I brought a LOT of flowers, so don’t think you’re anything special.” Way to apologize, eejit.

    Wait… that referee…. why, that’s Matty Moon! Marty Moon’s longlost twin brother, abandoned at a freeway rest stop by the careless Mr. and Mrs. Moon and left to fend for himself! He’s found his way to Milford with a diabolical scheme on his mind: sabotage the Mudlarks’ season in hopes that WDIG will cancel its coverage and leave Marty without a job.

    Now, THAT’S a plot twist I could live with.

    Comment by John Walters (@johnswalters) — December 5, 2012 @ 11:38 am

  2. Brilliant, John Walters! Otherwise how do we explain “pass interference” when the Tech receiver has his hands on the football while the Sligo Slugger is still ten feet away? At least the inexplicable Doyle Dung plot seems to have gone away.

    Comment by vaganova — December 5, 2012 @ 12:57 pm

  3. I don’t know what rule book they’re playing out of, but – assuming our narrator is not omniscient or perhaps being rhetorical and truly doesn’t know what the call was – it could be an unsportsmanlike conduct given what we know about Terry’s vicious and gratuitous hits earlier in the season before he became public gigaloo number one.

    I do like the message that’s being sent by the strip about how to handle interpersonal relationships: Piss a bunch of women off to the extent that they will orchestrate a campaign to destroy your social life? Just buy ’em all flowers and everything will be forgiven! Sage and surprisingly effective advice from Mrs. Maeve* “Don’t noone bring me no strategy” Gallagher there.

    *Yes, I had to look that up. No, I have no pride.

    Comment by TimP — December 5, 2012 @ 2:18 pm

  4. “Unsportsmanlike conduct on Coach Thorp – drinking boilermakers on the sidelines”

    Comment by milfordian — December 5, 2012 @ 3:20 pm

  5. TimP is right– I missed the question mark on first reading and thus missed the possibility that the call is instead for something else, possibly even against Valley Tech. I am happy to wait to find out. What I am sure of is that the outcome of one random play will turn into a BFD for this story.

    TimP is even more right about the idiotic message sent by Gallagher’s “apologies.” And I can add that this story has used him as a kind of blank canvas on which any random act of idiocy can be painted, under the assumption that we will accept this because he is foreign or Irish or something. In any case I have seen enough, and mostly want to see some charging back or tackler dive out of bounds and accidentally cream Doyle Dung.

    Comment by vaganova — December 5, 2012 @ 3:21 pm

  6. Doyle will get shot out of a cannon at next years homecoming. Guess that means we’ll see him next year. Yikes!

    Comment by Rob — December 5, 2012 @ 7:55 pm

  7. Either Milford’s SID (probably Gil himself) has their record books crossed, or Marjie just didn’t bother to do the research, but Milford has won 9 straight against Valley Tech, not 10.
    They’ve won every one from 2003 to 2011, last losing (badly) in 2002 with a 2-6 team that featured Les Neemy and jailbait Ian Daulton.

    Milford – Valley Tech 2001-2011
    10-2-0 with one unknown
    * final score not given, score assumed based on last reported score or scoring depicted
    + opponent referred to as “Tech”
    # opponent referred to as “V Tech”
    P playdown game

    2001 – Unknown, 42-10 assumed Win #
    2001 – L 24-28 *
    2001 – W 14-0 *P
    2002 – L 14-40 *+
    2003 – W 44-6
    2004 – W 16-0 +
    2005 – W 23-12
    2006 – W 7-0 *
    2007 – W 40-13
    2008 – W 34-14
    2009 – W 31-20
    2010 – W 34-20
    2011 – W 12-10

    Don’t ask me why they played three times in 2001.

    Comment by billytheskink — December 6, 2012 @ 8:24 am

  8. Impecable as always Billy!
    The misinformation is perpetuated from a strip last December (12/3/11) which mentions the ten straight wins.

    I just happened to spot this when I looked back to see approximately when football season generally ends. (The answer is usually no later than mid December…sometimes it takes a few extra days to duct tape somebody to a locker.)

    I thought there might be something worthy of a new post today, but sadly, no.

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — December 6, 2012 @ 8:42 am

  9. Well, color me disappointed with Marjie and her journalistic skills. Still, can we get more of her in this strip? She really hronks my banjax, especially when’s she’s rockin’ that raspberry beret.

    Is Marty-as-the-referee his projection of himself as he’s rolling up the game’s results in his basement box?

    “What pass interference, Marty?”


    Comment by Dood — December 6, 2012 @ 11:43 am

  10. 12/5 P3: Pass Interference? Mais non: “Mass Indifference!”

    Comment by semperfi4evr — December 6, 2012 @ 12:37 pm

  11. to think this whole denouement/letdown came when Marty’s referee twin made a grab at Casper the Friendly Ghost in 12/5 panel 3…

    Comment by vaganova — December 6, 2012 @ 7:20 pm

  12. Terry says what he’s giving the girls is flowers, but it looks more like cauliflower. That may be the thing to do on the Emerald Isle, but the only thing he’s going to get with that in Milford is the frumpy vegan chick who doesn’t shave her armpits.

    Comment by J.D. Springer — December 7, 2012 @ 6:58 pm

  13. I think I also see some asparagus in that “bouquet.”

    Comment by J.D. Springer — December 7, 2012 @ 6:59 pm

  14. JD, with the cauliflower and the asparagus, you’re showing considerable insight into my countrymen. This is, after all, a culture that considers corned beef and cabbage a delicacy.

    Comment by vaganova — December 7, 2012 @ 8:41 pm

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