This Week in Milford

March 15, 2013

Deus Ex Porcus

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Gil Thorp — nedryerson @ 4:54 am




So ends the magical peacock season. Gil Thorp doles out a post mortem dollop of coaching, another life lesson: Believe in yourself, not in spirit animals. Certainly a few of these dolts cannot wrap their mind around Dr. Gil’s creepy self-esteem dogma, and they are plotting now how to get their hands on a pig of their own, maybe a peccary if necessary.

How are these simpletons supposed to carry any of this “wisdom” over? You never know where these mercurial nutjobs’ heads will be at from one day to the next and Gil’s not exactly instilling any consistency with his month’s long disappearing acts.




  1. “A great game and a great season — but the spring script is here…”

    What can we look forward to this baseball and softball season aside from a kraking, hronking foozle of a storyline? Clambake’s return? A gift basket from Mr. Baskt? Marjie Ducey with a beret on top? Twenty-three Gil Thorp readers want to know.

    Comment by Dood — March 15, 2013 @ 7:38 am

  2. 3/15 P3 Gil “Your talent, your drive, your teamwork. It all went for sh%t you f%%king losers! You’re all Hamilton’s b%tches. If you carry that go%%amm peacock sh%t over next year you can count on me thumping each one of your delusional a%%es. And I’ll shut off the hot water to the f%%king showers, too. Worse, we won’t supply any KY.”

    Comment by semperfi4evr — March 15, 2013 @ 7:51 am

  3. After a quick end to Milford’s first boy’s basketball playdown appearance in 7 seasons, it’s time for the Milford Mudlark Record Book.xlsx!

    The Mudlarks end their season with a 7-4 record in games depicted, 6-2 in the Valley conference.
    * Non conference
    ^ Playdown game

    W – @ Corcoran 49-44*
    L – vs? Solvay*
    W – vs Tilden 61-49
    W – vs? Valley Tech 51-48
    L – @ Madison – by 6 points
    W – @ Tilden
    W – vs Central
    L – @ Goshen 43-62
    W – @ Oakwood
    W – vs Jefferson 77-60
    L – at Hamilton 81-82^

    All teams in the Valley Conference appeared this season except for New Thayer. New Thayer did not appear last basketball season either, nor have they appeared in any other non-football season over the last two school years. It’s possible that they’ve withdrawn from the Valley Conference in all sports but football, but more likely that Rubin just forgot about them.

    This season marks the first playdown appearance by the Mudlark basketball team since 2005-2006, when Trey Davis, Steve Luhm, and homeless Ted Pearse led the team to 3 playdown victories and an 11-2 record before falling to Waltrip short of the state championship game (Luhm was suspended that game).
    It also marks the 5th playdown appearance for the basketball team since 2001-2002 and the 1st playdown appearance for any Milford team since baseball’s 2010 one-and-done.

    Gil’s basketball record since the 2001-2002 season stands at 130-41 (76%) with 3 unknowns, 61-28 (69%) with unknown against Valley Conference competition, and 12-4 (75%) in the playdowns with one state championship in two title game appearances. The team has been at least .500 in depicted games every season during this time.
    Gil holds winning streaks of 4 games against Valley Tech, Oakwood, and Jefferson and a 3 game winning streak against Tilden. He also is on losing streaks of 2 and 3 games to Madison and Goshen respectively.

    Gil’s basketball record from 1958-present, minus the missing years of 1994-2001, is 666-281 (70%) with 3 unknowns and 8 state championships. It’s far-and-away the sport Gil has had the most success in..

    Milford Mudlark Record Book.xlsx will likely return in July (July?!) after baseball and softball season inevitably run long and fail to result in playdown appearances.

    Comment by billytheskink — March 15, 2013 @ 8:02 am

  4. Gil’s definition of “a great season” is one that doesn’t interfere with spring tee times. By that measure, fine work, gents! You made a good showing, but Gil doesn’t have to waste any more time “coaching.”

    Comment by John Walters (@johnswalters) — March 15, 2013 @ 10:05 am

  5. Gil’s sidelong glance and tight smirk have me reading this whole speech in an incredibly exagerated sarcastic voice: “Your taaaalleeent, oh and your teamwork like when you nearly tore each other to pieces over ogling someone’s peacock,…. Oh yeeeaaah… Let’s carry THAT into next season, gents!”

    Comment by TimP — March 15, 2013 @ 5:29 pm

  6. No seniors on the team or just none smart enough to graduate?

    Comment by Dale — March 15, 2013 @ 6:43 pm

  7. Unfortunately, I think our summer ‘o fun will continue to focus on Fowler and Jaybird, as that issue was never resolved. Or else Terry Gallagher, that good Irish boy, will be good at golf and we will have our 4th straight MCC summer.

    Until then, lame baseball.

    Comment by Milfordian — March 15, 2013 @ 9:25 pm

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