This Week in Milford

March 18, 2013

Is It Story Time?

Filed under: exposition comics, What the hell is going on here? — nedryerson @ 4:17 am


Backtracking huh? Watchu talkin’ ’bout Rubin?

So does the accident victim now own the Speed Co.? Is he getting ready to start selling synthetic Nutboys to kids. Maybe the victim’s kid will be on the baseball team and try to sue the school when he slips running out a grounder (because Steve Luhm left a puddle when he was mopping the base paths before practice). Maybe we’ll meet an unpleasant attorney and this season will be an opportunity to explore the  slip-n-fall epidemic in Milford.

Stay tuned…



  1. And thus began the epic lawsuit, Pillsbury Doughboy v. SpeedCo. Unfortunately for Plaintiff, his thick winter clothing protected him from major injuries, and at the trial’s climax, Plaintiff’s neck brace was revealed to be a phony.

    Comment by John Walters (@johnswalters) — March 18, 2013 @ 5:38 am

  2. a little patch of ice, a slip, a tumble- and the man hit the deck like a hefty bag full of vegetable soup. He also split his head like a melon and died at the scene. He had no I.D. on his person and police are requesting the public’s assistance in solving this case. Now, back to late winter and the first baseball practice.

    Comment by Knoxy — March 18, 2013 @ 5:57 am

  3. See, this is why Mr. Bakst moved to Charleston.

    Comment by billytheskink — March 18, 2013 @ 7:08 am

  4. That’s not the Pillsbury Doughboy — what would he be doing at a filling station anyway? It’s clearly Bib, the Michelin Man.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — March 18, 2013 @ 9:29 am

  5. I dunno ’bout Bib… Michelins don’t slip. I’m suggesting Wally Lamb coming to Tank Town to peddle P E D’s to the bumbling boys. With his help maybe they can win the baseball play downs this year. And for Gil, Kaz and Scottie, he’s got cheap E D meds.

    Comment by semperfi4evr — March 18, 2013 @ 9:46 am

  6. Even in the world of Gil Thorp, no one would build a gas station ON a highway. So what does OFF imply?
    Maybe, ON, in the sense of just outside of town?

    Comment by Dale — March 18, 2013 @ 1:48 pm

  7. SpeedCo Kills!

    Comment by TimP — March 18, 2013 @ 4:53 pm

  8. That’s not a “tumble,” it’s a head-cracking, flat-on-your-ass-with-a-whiplash FALL. And for someone built like Bibendum the Michelin Man but without his bounce-like-a-basketball resilience, a bad one. OK, let’s see– what are the possibilities?

    A Milford kid could be accused of negligence for not properly dealing with the ice, complicating the choice of shortstop.

    The father of a Milford player could be in an impaired state, able only to giggle, drool, and jerk off instead of being a proper role model for youth.

    A random transient may have sued everybody in sight– the gas station for negligence, the town for inadequate regulation, the high school for turning out morons– forcing an austerity budget and the cancellation of the season.

    A lawsuit resulting from the accident may have led to a cascade of changes to the Milford retail scene– the Sub Standard may have merged with the tattoo parlor and the Nutboys stop-n-go, leading to anything up to and including the return of Ashley Aiello or Lini Verde.

    Unhappily, we will find out…

    Comment by vaganova — March 18, 2013 @ 5:21 pm

  9. Synthetic Nut Boys? They’re shitty! HRAAK!

    Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — March 18, 2013 @ 8:11 pm

  10. What a second ! Could that guy be Brett Raptor ? Remember him—he was that fat kid who played on Milford’s baseball team from about 2003-5. He was the main character in the Mudlarks 2003 season, where in a crucial game he was in a must-hit situation (two outs in the last inning and Milford was losing). He did hit the ball but he couldn’t get his “fat butt” (as his bitchy mom later said to Gil Thorp) to first base quickly enough and thus the game was over. If I remember correctly, he later underwent weight-loss surgery claiming that he’d “tried everything” to lose weight. I don’t recall what happened to him after that……unless that was HIM who just slipped at the gas station.

    Comment by Howard — March 19, 2013 @ 9:32 am

  11. Good memory, Howard. Brent Raptor is largely forgotten, I fear. Didn’t Gil do a “family intervention” thing with his mother, which resulted in her happily– for everybody– moving to Lake Havasu or something?

    Comment by vaganova — March 19, 2013 @ 3:02 pm

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