This Week in Milford

July 3, 2014

Safe, Sane and Consensual

Filed under: football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 6:10 am

July 3, 2014


So the man with the football and whistle is Tim and/or Jay Forbes from the middle school.  (Has he been in this strip before? TWIM historians, I look to you.) He’s not wasting time in laying out the ground rules for this scene practice. All that’s missing is the safe word; I’m guessing “routes.” Some couples are starting to pair off – the lobster-clawed guy in the middle of P2 is already melting into his partner to his left.

In familiar Milford fashion, one of the teens establishes himself as hyper-serious and faux mature. Jarrod Hale, having read or heard somewhere that quarterbacks are supposed to be leaders,  thrusts himself into this role.  What says the one-hand touches on Jarrod include some above-the-neck face slaps and nasty wedgies?

None of this foreplay will last for long however. Jarrod has only four seconds to unload, which is about par for the course for a teenaged boy. (See what I did there? Foreplay? Par for the course? Laying up for the transition to the golf portion of this arc on Monday.)


  1. I don’t recall a Tim or Jay Forbes, but my experience with the strip begins around 1998 or so. The only character in Milford Mudlark Record Book.xlsx named Forbes was a female school counselor, Milford High’s fourth counselor (of five) since 2001. The presumed current counselor is a Ms./Mrs. Macky.

    Comment by billytheskink — July 3, 2014 @ 7:17 am

  2. “We have an opportunity here”. What Opportunity? To play one handed touch football..from the neck down…in shorts. Only a fool would waste that opportunity clowning around.

    Comment by Knoxy — July 3, 2014 @ 8:38 am

  3. I think the opportunity refers to the opportunity to unload in 4 seconds or less. They want to score, right?

    Comment by milevin68 — July 3, 2014 @ 9:02 am

  4. 1. billy: Drugs are bad.

    Comment by Dale — July 3, 2014 @ 10:13 am

  5. Foul on the narration box! Isn’t Gil propped up at the Milford Country Club lounge practicing his seven-sevens?

    Comment by Dood — July 3, 2014 @ 10:50 am

  6. Those guys in the middle of p2 are acting like they won’t NEED four seconds to “unload.”

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    Comment by John S. Walters — July 3, 2014 @ 11:59 am

  7. OK, as teenchy has pointed out, Hale is the latest in a serious of self-important high schoolers. Some are athletes, such as the infielder intent on the double play record, some are more like that self-propelled hemorrhoid who thought he was a marketing genius. There will be uppance for this one, we can be sure.

    As Peter Falk’s “Columbo” would say, “There’s just one thing that bothers me.” If Gil and Kaz are insulated from the actual coaching, how will the summer football story connect with them? Will things get so crazy that Gil has to pretend to intervene, or will this be an offstage sideshow while Gil plays with the ballwasher at MCC?

    Comment by vaganova — July 3, 2014 @ 1:53 pm

  8. Actually, the guys in the middle of panel two reminded me of these guys.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — July 3, 2014 @ 2:27 pm

  9. When I started working on this post yesterday morning (well before I added commentary FWIW) my 10-year-old walked past and asked me “Dad, why is Martin Luther King, Jr. holding a football?” It was hard to resist going down that path. Given that Gil and Kaz may be the beneficiaries of any training imparted during this summer 7-on-7 action, references to the “I’ve Been to the Mountaintop” speech would’ve come easily.

    Comment by teenchy — July 4, 2014 @ 11:17 am

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