This Week in Milford

July 23, 2014

Milford Wax Job

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Just plain sad, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 5:01 am

July 23, 2014


Let’s take stock of where we are… Oh, we’re in Jefferson High School just like the sign said in yesterday’s strip. What else? Well, Art is drinking a cup of swirly coffee and True is drinking a cup of pens and pencils while they meet with the presumable head coach of the Jeffs over the world’s smallest office desk – drawing perspective is hell I tell you: look how low Art has to slouch just to fit in panel.

Panel two is a bit of a stumper. Why is the Jeffs’ coach running down Milford? Gil already told the Standish’s what they could do with themselves if they expected him to lift a finger on their behalf so it’s hard to believe that Milford is somehow the front runner for True’s services. Regardless, with respect to this waxing business, insert mandatory Steve Luhm joke here.

Panel three promises us nothing but more sorrowful ennui as it seems that the unnamed Jeffs coach failed to close the deal and we are going to get more snippets of the Standish’s meeting with Valley conference coaches. (Sales tip coach: Your first instinct not to run the other guy down was correct. You need to convince the prospect why your school is the right one.) Speaking of which, assuming the Valley covers a fairly broad territory, wouldn’t the school True attends be dictated either by wherever the Standish’s live or however far they are willing to drive to a private school? Am I missing something here?



  1. Presumably the Standish’s have a plan to take up legal residence in whatever school zone they choose. It is not uncommon in my neck of the woods for top athletes to switch/choose public schools by “living” in a small, inexpensive apartment located in the school district or zone of choice. Heck some well-to-do parents will even legitimately move their families if they think it will further their child’s athletic career. There are rules against this, of course, but they are quite poorly enforced.

    Jefferson ought to have no need to run down Milford, they are 6-3 against the ‘Larks since 2001. Only Madison (9-3) has a better record against Gil since then.

    Comment by billytheskink — July 23, 2014 @ 6:43 am

  2. Apparently Art and Twue are living in a van down by the river while they decide witch valley team will have the honor of securing his services for the upcoming season.

    Am I missing something. Just because the Jeff’s “waxed” the Mnfrd 7 on 7 team doesn’t mean they will do the same in the fall when real football is played. Likely yes but not a certainty.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — July 23, 2014 @ 6:48 am

  3. More football secrets emerge: now we have the picture of Jefferson players holding down the Mfnrd kids while they peel off their Brazilians to a cacaphony of ooches and ouches..

    Comment by vaganova — July 23, 2014 @ 6:50 am

  4. So I guess that somehow True will decide that Mfnfrd is the one and only place for him, and Art will put up a fight? Will this drag into the fall, with True battling Jarrod for starting QB while Art spends all his time harassing Gil?

    Eh, we could do worse. And probably will.

    Comment by John S. Walters — July 23, 2014 @ 7:08 am

  5. Oh boy, we’re getting to the point in the plot detangling where I begin to examine myself and wonder if I should be investing this much energy into this comic strip. (After I wrestle with this for a while, then I run for the hills and swear I’m not going to do this anymore before coming back and starting all over again!)

    So the issue I have is this: Is 7-on-7 football a barometer for the relative strength of a school’s formal football program? Art and True seem to be banking on it. But the parameters that Gil talked about at the outset suggest that the high school coaches are kept at a distance from the 7-on-7 activities. The Jefferson coach is way more invested than Gil, to the point of bragging about “his kids” and offering 7-on-7 game results as an endorsement of his football program. That doesn’t mean the Jeffs coach is breaking any rules, though, even though I guess he’s supposed to appear to be shady because he’s sitting in his office over the summer, entertaining the Standishes. The Valley Tech coach did the same thing, even though we weren’t shown whether he had any impression on “his kids” and their 7-on-7 record.

    The other issue is the 7-on-7 game itself. We’ve had about four panels of it this summer and all we know is that that Hale fellow is way more gung ho about it than the rest of the Milford players and that Milford seems to be getting waxed.

    Comment by nedryerson — July 23, 2014 @ 8:04 am

  6. billy It is also common in the Louisville KY area for top athletes to switch/choose public schools;many times with an aunt/uncle who lives in the school district or zone of choice. Private schools here can add “inducements” to attract “value added” students…There have been rumors over the years of some private schools “recruiting” with “scholarships” and magnet & traditional schools cherry picking players, But nothing ever proven in a court of law…

    Comment by Rowdyman — July 23, 2014 @ 10:11 am

  7. 7-on-7 is probably more indicative of a poor back seven since only the most incompetent offense could struggle even without facing a pass rush. Of course, we are talking about the Mudlarks so . . .

    Comment by Tracer Bullet — July 23, 2014 @ 5:38 pm

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