This Week in Milford

July 29, 2014

Crimes Against Art

Filed under: Bad Jokes, Boredom in Milford, Gil Thorp — timbuys @ 4:46 am

July 29, 2014


Panel one looks more hastily thrown together than this blog post.

Panel two: Whoa, that is a whole lot of Gil’s craggy mug to contemplate first thing in the morning. Good thing there’s absolutely nothing creepy about those fingertips poking up out of the bottom of the panel. By the way, Gil, it’s kinda rude to throw the ‘talk to the hand’ gesture during a friendly conversation.

Finally, panel three is all kinds of suggestively hard to parse. Yeah, Gil probably put his soda down in panel two and picked it back up in panel three but I think what’s actually happening is that True was being a bit too literal when he said he would get Gil a soda and the motion lines on Gil’s head indicate he’s leaning in to take a sip.* Why would they be doing this? I couldn’t say, but it is more interesting by a mile than connecting the dots of the dialogue. Here’s a quick hint: UT and SoCal probably have never even taken a glance at Milford and True’s best bet is a directional Michigan school. So, this definitely is some kind of variant on the overbearing parent with the talented kid story. I hope Papa Standish gets a kick out of traveling to EMU Eagles games…

Take that, Art!

* I assume yesterday’s comment about growing up on freeways was figurative but who the heck knows?



  1. Panel 1 is so unrealistic . Where are the poodle skirts, bobby socks and Danny and the Juniors concert t-shirts, Daddio?

    Comment by Jive Turkey — July 29, 2014 @ 7:12 am

  2. So, uh… why didn’t Gil ask True what his ideal college is?
    Boom. 3 panels into 1.

    Comment by billytheskink — July 29, 2014 @ 7:36 am

  3. I think this nicely sets up a parody of the Beach Boys’ “Be True to Your School” but I’m late for work.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — July 29, 2014 @ 10:08 am

  4. The bar stools in P1 are meant for giants who are all leg and no torso. The lines of perspective for the stools, the counter, and the booths are all different.

    Gil to True: “If you come to Milford, the best you’ll do after is Akron because I do zip to prepare my athletes for college. Now if you wanna be a janitor…”

    Comment by teenchy — July 29, 2014 @ 10:12 am

  5. “My dad’s been dreaming of” is the second clue (after “Well, not everybody, dad”) that True is not fully on board with False’s plan for him. Looks like the classic pushy-parent-living-through-his-kid plot to me. If I am right, True will turn out to be a decent kid (with reservations about playing ahead of Edward Everett Hale, DI) but Gil will have his hands full with False.

    Comment by vaganova — July 29, 2014 @ 10:15 am

  6. Straight from the headlines (of 1991), the Todd Marinovich story comes to Gil Thorp. Except this time, the talented young blond quarterback with the pushy father realizes he wants something else, something different than the bright lights of Texas or USC*… he wants mediocre no-pressure football in a Tank Town. My boy, you’ve come to the right place. Have a Nut-Boy!

    *Memo to Neal Rubin: Checked out college football in a while? Try Alabama or Florida State.

    Comment by John S. Walters — July 29, 2014 @ 1:38 pm

  7. I take a more relaxed attitude toward college football. If you line up the Div 1 rankings with the academic rankings (US News, Princeton Review, etc) it’s rare to find more than two or three top 25 schools which appear on both lists, in fact unless you’re Michigan, Notre Dame, or Stanford it’s fair to say the two are almost mutually exclusive. The chances of a Div 1 football scholarship are similar to hitting the lotto (EVERY tank town has a can’t-miss candidate) and what happens if he DOES land a free ride? Unless he makes it big in the NFL (and for this the odds are similar to those for being struck by lightning) he had better get himself a decent education. Our True might not do so badly to enjoy two years at Mfnrd as a normal kid then see what happens. Convincing his idiot father of that will be the challenge.

    Comment by vaganova — July 29, 2014 @ 2:36 pm

  8. Georgia Tech is a top 10 engineering school, and occasionally ranks in top 25 in football, basketball & baseball. Duke is a perennial top 25 school academically & in basketball… Have we left anybody out vaganova???

    Comment by Rowdyman — July 29, 2014 @ 4:24 pm

  9. At any time, a changing handful of Big Ten and PAC 12 schools can make the claim with respect to one sport or another and their academic standing.

    The point I want to go after however is the one about getting a ‘decent’ education. To the extent that selling cars or insurance or other occupations where the main qualification is the ability to follow some simple scripts and glad hand people, you can forget about the need for much of a college education at all. The name recognition and the fact that people will buy your product because they want an autograph or to get to hear about the time you came off the bench and caused a turnover to force overtime against Rival State U in The Big Game (or what star player X was really like and whether he really did that thing he was rumored to have done) can get you by quite nicely both in the city where you played and quite possibly any nearby major metros with large enough alumni populations. Having grown up in a Big Ten town, I knew (or knew of) many ex-football and basketball players who were reasonably successful in those sorts of fields (and there are lots others than car and insurance sales).

    Comment by timbuys — July 29, 2014 @ 4:39 pm

  10. Northwestern’s football team is often in the Top 25 and finished at #16 in 2013. The school is always ranked in the top 12 universities in the nation by US News and World Report.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — July 29, 2014 @ 4:41 pm

  11. So Gil is saying if you go to Milford, your college scholarship options may be limited. Thats why he’s asking about college already. My high school turned out 4 NFL players in 50 years. Dont know if thats par for the course or what, but it was a private school in a city of 40,000. Bigger then Milford.

    Comment by robmize2013 — July 29, 2014 @ 5:03 pm

  12. I’m waiting for Ned to chime in here in defense of Gator Nation.

    Comment by teenchy — July 29, 2014 @ 6:11 pm

  13. OK, I admit to being slapped down. I could make the case that Georgia Tech is a specialized school (like MIT or Cal Tech or Purdue) and that Duke, an unquestioned top ten school, does not really play football, but we are into the muddy area of what defines “top schools.” Maybe I have stretched the extremes and left a vacant middle, but I think we can agree that Princeton, Chicago, and Vanderbilt will never contend for a national championship, and that Florida State, Syracuse, and UNLV are unlikely to crack the top 25 academically.

    My point is a real simple one: schools that consistently excel both academically and in football can be counted on one hand. It’s a matter of priorities.

    Comment by vaganova — July 29, 2014 @ 7:04 pm

  14. Awww, no, man. No slapping down here. Maybe some playful slapping around at worst. And your point about Vandy is very well taken. :-)

    Comment by timbuys — July 29, 2014 @ 7:43 pm

  15. Thanks, Timbuys, “I needed that.” I studied at a place that was well regarded academically but not athletically (despite the efforts of Tommy Lee Jones and later Jeremy Lin) and am thus always a little conflicted. Am I being a spoilsport to put academics first, or am I right to point out that among developed countries, only the US allows its colleges to serve as the minor leagues for football and men’s basketball? I played sports in high school and for a while in college, but came to believe that academics and intercollegiate sports were both so demanding that it was simply not reasonable to expect students to do both. Thus schools choose between them, and the triage begins.

    Comment by vaganova — July 29, 2014 @ 7:58 pm

  16. I’m with ya even thought I’m still a fan of the teams of the Big Ten school from which I received (if not really earned) one of my several degrees. The University of Chicago – which I didn’t attend but is still in some sense a member of the Big Ten – had the right idea when they gave up football and decided to use the stadium (or at least the area under the stands) to develop nuclear fission. This is likely not the forum, so I’ll keep this brief, but it would bother me not at all if all of the large ‘programs’ were disassociated with the academic institutions and left to stand on their own as ‘clubs’. Plus, as someone who has to work with people from many different countries all of the time – with a name like Schultz’s Polynesian, you know it’s gotta be cosmopolitan – I also find it a bit tiresome to have to explain yet again that, yes, we do have many of the world’s best universities and, yes, many of them also run pro sports teams as well.

    Comment by timbuys — July 29, 2014 @ 8:14 pm

  17. So Twue tell False to go enroll at USC or Texas and let you make your own choice.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — July 30, 2014 @ 4:42 am

  18. re: teechy’s comment

    You’ll get no spirited defense from me of the University of Florida. It is a fair to fairly good institution, but doesn’t rank near the top of anything academically, as much as that matters. I have family and friends who got great educations at UF and did wonderful things without plunging our families into debt. That’s what public universities are about. Give us another hundred years or so and maybe we can improve. Of course, international cache and research affiliations are also driving these institutions as much as the education. They also have to deal with of that population of kids like me who just wandered through while we discovered how to take care of ourselves.

    As to the athletic program, well, I do consume my share of Gator sports and get exposed to all the marketing of their student athletics program, which likes to point to all the diverse programs they have besides hoops and football, and how many people who seriously do take advantage of the education compete in golf, tennis, swimming, etc. But that’s the way they whitewash it. As I get older, I get tired of hearing about the scandals around the football program and football in general is starting to drift over into the periphery of my attention, so I’m not taking a moral stance against it completely. I guess it just seems to me to be playing out like a sub genre of reality television competitions. Maybe I still retain some devotion to the basketball program because I believe Billy Donovan is the real deal and cares about the kids in his program and does things as well as they can be done on that stage. Probably sounds like I’m just justifying being a fair weathered fan. Maybe, but all football is starting to bore me generally. Not enough Wing-T and movie of the week triumphs.

    Comment by nedryerson — July 30, 2014 @ 5:29 am

  19. I think we’re largely on the same page here, and I’m kind of delighted to see Timbuys sing the praises of UC, where my son studied. And to see mention of the possibility of colleges getting out of the pro sports business except perhaps as owners of pro teams. When Chicago dropped football in 1940, the president remarked that “Football bears the same relationship to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.” To go just one layer deeper, he and the board feared that all the money accruing to football at that time might compromise UC’s academic integrity. Imagine that….

    Comment by vaganova — July 30, 2014 @ 8:41 pm

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