This Week in Milford

September 13, 2014

Balls-eye View

Filed under: football, freak hands, Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 6:52 am

September 13, 2014


Another day, another egotist being a jerk in Milford. What else is new? Maybe I should try to look at the strip from another perspective, like that of that Navy blimp coming in to dock at NAS Lakehurst. Nah, I’m still having trouble with space and time in the Thorpiverse.

SPACE: Jarrod is 5’11”, yet stands nearly eye-to-eye with True, who stands nearly eye-to-eye with Gil. Is True only about 6’0″ to 6’1″ and Gil maybe 6’2″ tops? If there’s that little difference in height between the QBs then maybe Rubin shouldn’t have made such a big deal of it. I’m also still having trouble with the Mudlarks practicing in shorts; they’ve been doing it since August 25. Shouldn’t these guys be in full pads by now?

TIME: Jarrod only interviewed with Marjie yesterday. How far forward have we leapt today?  True probably grabbed the Milford paper off Art’s stack of papers at the Central City Hilt (they still live there, right?) and got it confused with another, like the Valley Times or some such. Of course, when this is all the press you’ve gotten compared to your competition’s scads of YouTube clips, you guard it as fiercely as you can.

I don’t know who’s going to win the quarterback competition but so far, Jarrod’s the hands-down winner of the Douchebag Trophy. True’s “I just want to win” comes off a bit insincere given his ambitions but Hale’s hubris is setting himself up for a huge fall… like maybe off a curb.



  1. I am too bored to even comment.

    Comment by Milfordian — September 13, 2014 @ 7:44 am

  2. Churl, n. (OE ceorl, serf or peasant) In present usage, an ill-mannered, ungracious person. Adj churlish, adv churlishly.

    Comment by vaganova — September 13, 2014 @ 12:23 pm

  3. Nathan Neidermier continues to prove that he is an extraordinary dueche.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — September 13, 2014 @ 12:34 pm

  4. “Jarrod’s the hands-down winner of the Douchebag Trophy.” Yeah, sometimes there’s some competition in any given plotline – like who were we supposed to like less, Wynn or Keegan? – but, while Art is unpleasant, he seems to roll over pretty easily once his bluff is called. Jarrod, on the other hand, has yet to be depicted in any manner other than awful. A more interesting approach might have been if both True and Jarrod were jerks or if we got some more background on Jarrod’s insecurities but I don’t write the stories I just snark about ’em.

    Comment by timbuys — September 14, 2014 @ 9:22 am

  5. Yes, timbuys, bulls-eye. One neat thing about this story is that this time it is the intruder, the one who upsets the status quo, who is the nice guy and the established leader who is the jerk. Yesterday we talked about how it’s unusual to have a story develop beyond one season these days, and here we have the counterexample.

    Comment by vaganova — September 14, 2014 @ 11:57 am

  6. Lucky, True… we’ve devolved to half-hearted attempts at original naming that’s starting to confuse me a litel. Also, is German-Polynesian cuisine off limits to the football squad?

    Comment by Stevo — September 14, 2014 @ 3:21 pm

  7. Good question, Stevo: is it possible the team will go to Schicklgruber’s Polynesian and that Amy (Lange) will dump a pitcher of root beer over Nathan Niedemeyer’s head? This might, if noting else, put Lucky and True in a rivalry.

    Comment by vaganova — September 14, 2014 @ 3:51 pm

  8. Wait, no– that would require re-introducing the chowderhead Lucky Haskins. True has his hands full with the sorehead Nathan Hale.

    Comment by vaganova — September 14, 2014 @ 6:45 pm

  9. […] than we were expecting out of the new kid who, from this angle, is looking an awful lot like the old new kid.  Guess we’ll have to wait a bit for his first […]

    Pingback by Saved by the ‘Cane | This Week in Milford — April 20, 2017 @ 5:44 am

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