This Week in Milford

September 16, 2014

Taking It And You With Us To Oakwood!

Filed under: football, freak hands, hideous scar faces, Milford Weirdos — timbuys @ 4:21 am

September 16, 2014

091614

Probably some EPA regulation? That’s not how that works I’m pretty sure. Does young Billy Dee Williams there think that every team has a bonfire? I’m from the mid-west and I honestly can’t remember that being a thing anywhere around there. Living as I do now in Texas, I’m certainly aware of Texas A&M and their bonfire, but I have no idea if any of the state high schools do something similar.

I guess I should just be honored that I get to snark on a bonfire strip. You definitely don’t see something like this in Mary Worth. At least not yet you don’t.

Moving along, we get two panels displaying that ostensible leader of boys, Jarrod Hale. Let’s leave aside the inchoate rallying cry in panel two and consider the mania infesting this guy. Actually, let’s not: dude is an angle faced creep. We usually call that a hideous scar face around here, but I don’t even know what to make of the shading there.

Finally, Jarrod rallies the team in a more traditional manner, by calling out a recent arrival who wants to help them win? Yeah, sure. I think there must be something in the water that causes some of the testosterone addled adolescents in Milford to develop Obsessive-Vindictive disorder… Wynn Wiley being another obvious case.

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12 Comments »

  1. Billy Dee doesn’t claim True will have a better time at the bonfire than not at it… But why take chances?

    Comment by billytheskink — September 16, 2014 @ 5:28 am

  2. Great post. Charterstone cookouts don’t hold a candle to this.

    So True’s “Coast football” = Pacific coast. EPA is a federal agency (if it banned bonfires in his former state it would here, no?) but there are state agencies so maybe he means CARB.

    Whipping his followers into a frenzy before a fire? Casting aspersions on others not like “them”? Jarrod has the makings of a cult leader.

    Comment by teenchy — September 16, 2014 @ 5:29 am

  3. Proven today – Jarrod’s a Through-And-Through-Tank-Town-Tool.
    I had many the unpleasant experience meeting individuals whose horizons end at the city limits. Small towns seem to breed them like roaches.

    Comment by FoolyRain — September 16, 2014 @ 8:32 am

  4. I would love to see a bonfire in Mary Worth. Most likely, it’d be in the background at a Charterstone pool party and, as the flames grow ever hotter and higher, everyone just kinda stands around chatting aimlessly and eating beige gobs of food, just like always.

    As for this actual strip here, “We’re gonna take you with us” sounds like an invitation to Jonestown.

    Comment by John S. Walters — September 16, 2014 @ 9:18 am

  5. Jarrod has a job waiting for him after he graduates from Milford. Working for the city digging ditches. I know, your probably asking do they really dig ditches any more? In Milford they do.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — September 16, 2014 @ 10:22 am

  6. timbuys, this is probably of limited interest, but in rural New York State, bonfire rallies are pretty common, usually before the first game or before “the big game” against that one special rival.

    Yes, Nathan Hale has developed an “obsessive-vindictive disorder,” all right. But a point of order: True told False that Hale “has a following.” If so, where are the goon sidekicks trying to get on True’s nerves?

    Should we speculate on HOW the transition will happen? Unless Whigrub has wasted three or four months on mistaken foreshadowing, True will be on the field sooner or later. The easy way out, of course, would be for Nathan Hale to sprain his thumb so that True can immediately throw a 60 yard pass right into the receiver’s numbers. But I suspect it will be messier than that…

    Comment by vaganova — September 16, 2014 @ 11:05 am

  7. Vaganova, of course it’ll be messy.
    (Insert Amy Lange reference here) —>

    Comment by FoolyRain — September 16, 2014 @ 1:19 pm

  8. Chicago far western suburban schools always had a bonfire before the first game of the season. Friday night bonfire, Saturday morning parade, and Saturday afternoon football game.

    That was before the lights went in and high schools all started playing Friday night games. They still have the bonfire though.

    Oh, and Jerkrod will be injured/ineffective in the game, Twue will step in and lead TankTown to victory. Question – will Jerkrod and Twue become friends/QB-receiver tandem/other by season’s end?

    Comment by Milfordian — September 16, 2014 @ 1:38 pm

  9. I’ve also forgotten what date I called for the bonfire, and like Gil, I am too bored to do actual work and look it up!

    Comment by Milfordian — September 16, 2014 @ 1:40 pm

  10. I live in Ohio near “Luckey Haskins” and our local school does a bonfire the Thursday night before their big rivalry game on Friday night.

    Comment by Ohio Band Mom — September 16, 2014 @ 1:47 pm

  11. Sounds as though the pregame bonfire is alive and well in the Interior Northeast (that’s really a linguistic term, but somewhat geographical.) The region has a characteristic accent and vocabulary, and starts somewhere not far from Albany, NY. It runs westward south of the Great Lakes (skipping Pittsburgh, whose speech is truly unique) and poops out around Chicago. What I’m saying is that most of the places people have mentioned in connection with bonfires are like my region, and like Mfnrd. Except for the Pantheon of Hair and that of Mysterious Objects.

    Comment by vaganova — September 16, 2014 @ 3:16 pm

  12. A little cheap shot at foo foo librul gub’mint agencies by Gil Thorp today followed up by a disturbing homage to white power rallies!

    Pretty sure my town had a pep rally bonfire for the gridiron gang more than once. The cool kids were in the woods smoking weed anyway.

    Comment by PRiverside — September 16, 2014 @ 4:01 pm


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