This Week in Milford

September 20, 2014

Zing Went the (Ham)strings

Filed under: actual action, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Secret Thoughts — teenchy @ 8:01 am

September 20, 2014


TWIM readers will remember the date September 20, 2014, the day when finally, after being introduced to him on July 2, we see True Standish in actual action on a football field. Then again, maybe it’s still September 19 in Milford, given that Gil is talking like a pirate to True.

Swashbuckling True sets forth to choose his own adventure. Will he:

a) thread the needle with a perfectly placed pass to Don “I deserve the game ball this week” Stebbins, who runs for a touchdown, earning Gil accusations of running up the score Steve Spurrier style and incurring the scorn of everyone associated with Milford football?

b) thread the needle with a pass so hot it breaks several of Don’s fingers, incurring the scorn of everyone associated with Milford football?

c) throw a pick-six to Oakwood’s #41 cutting in front of Stebbins, losing the shutout and incurring the scorn of everyone associated with Milford football?

d) re-injure his ankle as he sets to pass, incurring the scorn of everyone associated with Milford football?

My money’s on c). None will be so scornful as Jarrod “I was pitching a shutout” Hale.

Sartorial note of the day: Stebbins appears not to be wearing football pants but bicycle pants without pads. I know this was a thing for a while but the NFL changed its rules to require thigh and knee pads for all players except punters and placekickers. Wonder if this has yet to trickle down to the Valley Conference.



  1. I vote for (c)…
    Now if only the disco referee will return….

    Comment by Rowdyman — September 20, 2014 @ 10:27 am

  2. Definitely C, or the modified C – Twue gets hit on the release, causing interception or fumble that leads to an Oakwood score. Or will Twue tackle the potential scorer, leading to both blame and praise?

    Comment by Milfordian — September 20, 2014 @ 10:29 am

  3. Why is Gil throwing the ball up 33-0? True can’t cut it loose on a off tackle play. There better be a fight at mid field in hand shake line.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — September 20, 2014 @ 1:17 pm

  4. The key fact– I think– is that it’s barely late September and the season will run until pretty much Christmas. Hence, a complication is order: I will go with “c” as well. “It’s a small window” combined with “a little zing,” contrary to Gil’s instructions, spells “interception run in for a TD.” True is going to have a hole to dig out of. And yes, it’s a real good question why they’re throwing the damn ball in this situation.

    Comment by vaganova — September 20, 2014 @ 11:04 pm

  5. I think the pass is OK but Gil is POed that Tru didn’t fully knuckle under.

    Comment by Downpuppy (@Downpuppy) — September 21, 2014 @ 6:40 am

  6. Jive Turkey has a good point: if Gil wanted to run out the clock, he’d have a heavy formation (two tight ends, maybe even an extra lineman, and definitely NO SLOTBACK) and call a safe running play.

    Just to be contrarian, I’ll opt for (a) with the additional fillip that True will be celebrating the TD (along with Art) and Gil will come running up and lay into him for lack of sportsmanship. Gil benches True for a game or two, and Art launches a Fire Gil Thorp campaign.

    Comment by John S. Walters — September 21, 2014 @ 10:50 am

  7. […] scenario seemed to be fairly easy to predict. For this plot to play out, it seems True needed more adversity and a further diminished standing […]

    Pingback by Maybe A Little Less Zing Next Time | This Week in Milford — September 22, 2014 @ 4:53 am

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