This Week in Milford

October 7, 2014

Coming Up Short

Filed under: football, freak hands, What the hell is going on here? — timbuys @ 4:56 am

October 7, 2014


Some questionable artistic choices today – What? Don’t we all agree that the most dramatic images of any game are showing the ref after the measurement and then cutting to the announcer? – leading to a very unlikely plot twist.

First, how could True possibly justify ignoring the advice of John Paulsen, one of our foremost fantasy football analysts? That’s just not done! Second, where does the substitute QB who just joined the team a few weeks ago and is just now getting a chance to play get the notion that he can call audibles in crucial game situations? On fourth and inches no less! Sorry folks, the implausibility meter just spiked and I’ll have to leave y’all to discuss the rest.



  1. But will the Mudlarks go for 2 after the tying TD?

    And is Jaroo’s head exploding on the sidelines?

    And is Wendy Wiley prepping to do a private dance for Twue after the game?

    So many questions!

    Comment by Milfordian — October 7, 2014 @ 5:11 am

  2. Here I thought John might be the great-grandson of perennial Presidential candidate Pat Paulsen. Shame on me for not keeping up with pop culture. Of course, a fantasy football reference is apt since this plot twist is taking us into the realm of fantasy.

    P1: Insert standard penis size joke here.

    P2: Look at the evil glee (or drunken rage) on Marty’s face. He can’t wait for this to backfire so he can get all up in Gil’s grill at the postgame presser.

    P3: Who’s True calling out on the defense? And how does he make those throws with Kaiser Wilhelm’s withered arm?

    Comment by teenchy — October 7, 2014 @ 5:19 am

  3. What’s up with the lineman in P3? Did he get scared by a bug or something?
    Marty’s looking like a cartoon villain in P2, too. Is he rubbing his hands in fiendish glee just out of shot, feverishly anticipating a Milford loss, or is he just stewed again?

    Comment by FoolyRain — October 7, 2014 @ 5:26 am

  4. Point of (marginal) interest: teenchy’s use of a dirty word – I’m guessing ‘glee’ is what set off the alarm – caused me to have to approve his post. Twas not any censorial impulse on my part!

    Side note: I had meant to comment on True’s hand in panel three. He’s wearing a glove, right? Something there just ain’t right.

    Comment by timbuys — October 7, 2014 @ 6:55 am

  5. Oh no! “I go to the box, you know. Two minutes, by yourself, you know and you feel shame, you know. And then you get free.” — teenchy, the dirty guy in the four-man TWIM rotation

    Yeah, why a glove on the throwing hand?

    Comment by teenchy — October 7, 2014 @ 7:14 am

  6. An audible ? Highly unlikely that a high school team has that level of sophistication or that the coach would give play calling authority to his QB. Not a realistic premise.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — October 7, 2014 @ 7:28 am

  7. It’s quite possible a loose cannon high school QB would “call an audible”, as in deciding to improvise a play rather than running the one called. That anyone else on offense would know what he’s doing? Ha. Of course not.

    John Paulsen is one of our first new characters this season, if you consider True, Art, Hale, and the new 7-on-7 guys to be summer season characters.

    Comment by billytheskink — October 7, 2014 @ 8:07 am

  8. You guys are all over it! The rest of the offense, not having any clue what True is yelling about, and also not even aware that audibles are “a thing” in this offense, just run the play that was shuttled in by Schecky Paulsen and True looks like a total dumbass.

    Comment by nedryerson — October 7, 2014 @ 8:12 am

  9. I said dumbass and it went right up. What is the secret of my powers?

    Comment by nedryerson — October 7, 2014 @ 8:13 am

  10. Testing….. Penis. Insert penis?

    Who knows why Tim had to approve teenchy. Usually, I get a notice to approve when someone inserts a link or two because I guess that is suspect to be some type of spam. This blogging is a dirty job.

    Comment by nedryerson — October 7, 2014 @ 8:13 am

  11. Man, Ned. I am tempted to send that last one to the spam folder just to mess with your head. I have no idea why your use of an anatomically correct noun for a certain body part is going through but teenchy’s isn’t. Perhaps WordPress has him on double secret probation…

    Comment by timbuys — October 7, 2014 @ 8:16 am

  12. True is a clever guy. He’s calling a fake audible. GENIUS!!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — October 7, 2014 @ 8:36 am

  13. Teenchy: I saw Kaiser Wilhelm’s Withered Arm when they opened for Backyard Tire Fire at Bob’s Country Bunker.

    (I was also talking to Peachy Peach about Kissy Kiss)

    Comment by nedryerson — October 7, 2014 @ 8:50 am

  14. To be fair, the Kaiser’s withered arm was his left. He did keep a glove on its hand more often than not though.

    If you can read this then I’ve made it back from the cornfield… for now.

    Comment by teenchy — October 7, 2014 @ 9:10 am

  15. Yes, it’s unusual for a high school QB to “call an audible,” and perhaps not realistic to think the team will react effectively. But I suspect this development is more expository than narrative– we are being told True is a superior QB– he’s from “The Coast League,” after all. QBs must be expected to show more initiative there– if you see the play won’t work, change it.

    4th down and the length of a whatever to go and I’m guessing this is the bomb to Stebbins.

    Does anybody know if there IS a Coast League? Sounds like California or the northwest, but who knows?

    Comment by vaganova — October 7, 2014 @ 9:56 am

  16. Most realistic next step in this adventure IMO would be if the QB saw something on defense that could be exploited he’d call time out and discuss it with the coach. Bobby Joe @6 is spot on; we’ve seen nothing that tells us True has had enough time working with the first team offense to develop the necessary levels of sophistication and trust to pull this off.

    General Q: Have we ever seen Gil and his assistants going over game films or scouting reports? That would be too much like work, wouldn’t it?

    Comment by teenchy — October 7, 2014 @ 10:33 am

  17. A lot gets glossed over, doesn’t it, teenchy? The answer for me is no– I can’t think of an instance where Gil was shown studying film or scouting an opponent. As far as your objection to the audible is concerned, dead on– I just think we’re being shown what a star True is without paying much attention to realism. Time out? Confer with the coach? Absolutely.

    Comment by vaganova — October 7, 2014 @ 10:46 am

  18. In fairness I glossed over a bit in throwing out that question. If the Mudlark players and coaches know that when Shaw linebackers stand a certain way when they show blitz and when they actually do blitz, QB could pick it up and call that audible. Again that implies far greater levels of sophistication than we’ve be exposed to here.

    We know Gil’s playersand Kaz – have seen YouTube clips of their future teammate; you’d think he might at least get hold of some View-Master highlight reels like the ones the U of Missouri put out to promote Chase Daniel for the Heisman Trophy in 2008. Bet even Art Standish didn’t think of that.

    Comment by teenchy — October 7, 2014 @ 11:11 am

  19. Teenchy, ya got caught in moderation again! You are on fire! When I have a chance – really, I do have a job, honest – I’ll see if I can fix the HTML tags…

    Comment by timbuys — October 7, 2014 @ 11:14 am

  20. That’s it, I’m walking away from the keyboard. If I’m lucky I’ll get to post on Thursday.

    Comment by teenchy — October 7, 2014 @ 11:45 am

  21. Counting my current post this is reply 21! That’s gotta be record . I haven’t seen this many since I joined this thing of ours back in May. If we get to 30 the Chicago Tribune will have to take notice and starting running the strip again . And bring back Larry Cutter!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — October 7, 2014 @ 12:22 pm

  22. Sorry, Jive Turkey, but this post from Jason set the bar pretty high with 51 comments.

    True, it is part of a different era, and the post itself may have lost something over the years because I think Jason was using some method to auto post the strips that left dead links for images.

    But, we can dream of a thriving community, snarking it up instead of doing the other stuff we should be doing. I’ve done my part today.

    This reminds me of a few years ago when I used to post on a small (and now defunct) message board that was largely dedicated to snarking on celebrity and pop culture stuff. The posters were all happily celebrating that we far surpassed our highest number of users simultaneously logged in on an afternoon when there was live TV coverage of the verdict of Michael Jackson’s molestation trial.

    I wonder what would inspire us here in the TWIM “community” to break the commenting record? Hopefully not something that unseemly.

    P.S. Are message boards still “a thing”? Is “Still a thing” still a thing?

    Comment by nedryerson — October 7, 2014 @ 1:36 pm

  23. Just wondering: is a Milford QB audible “Ready, set, hey Don go long and I’ll get it to you, hike!”

    Comment by milfordian — October 7, 2014 @ 2:51 pm

  24. Had to go back and read the 51 posts under Jason’s curation, just before I became regularly involved myself, and was pleased to see names we have missed more recently, such as Laura Jane, who referred to men participants as sausage swingers, then, unnecessarily, apologized for her quip. Laura Jane, if you’re out there, come back! And Regina– with whom I used to trade quips about the Grand Concourse and Gun Hill Road– too! Right now we seem to have few if any women posting regularly, and I miss their flawless aim when male characters do something asinine, as they do so so regularly.

    Comment by vaganova — October 7, 2014 @ 5:06 pm

  25. Yes I’ve seen Gil looking at film, and it was fairly recent, but I’m not gonna look it up. Just take my word for it.

    Comment by robmize2013 — October 7, 2014 @ 6:50 pm

  26. Taken, robmize. I am willing to bet billy has it in his database.

    Comment by vaganova — October 7, 2014 @ 7:03 pm

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