This Week in Milford

October 18, 2014

We live, as we dream — alone.

Filed under: football, Gil Thorp, hideous scar faces — teenchy @ 6:17 am

October 18, 2014

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Riding the bench for one game has so disturbed young Jarrod that he’s prematurely aging: gone gray at the temples and freckles turned to huge pores. Ease up, Dorian Gray!

Fortunately Omari is there to offer him a bottle of Just for Men. No, wait – this is his interpretation of Gil’s directive to  “move [Jarrod] in the right direction.” If that direction isn’t toward becoming more of a team player, then hopefully it will be toward the inside of those lockers, as FoolyRain suggested on Thursday.  Omari has a valid point: everybody has their reasons for joining a team, but as that team they have a common goal. This is usually the time of the season that the coaching staff has motivational t-shirts printed up for the players – “ONE TEAM, ONE DREAM” or some such.

I’m sure Jarrod will get the chance to redeem himself in the eyes of his teammates; whether it’s by accepting his role and playing it or by some deus ex machina harm to True remains to be seen. Either way, I imagine it will lead to another second place finish in the Valley Conference.

EDIT: Question for today: If you were Coach Shaw (or one of Gil’s other lackeys) and Gil charged you to come up with a motivational t-shirt slogan for this season’s Mudlark squad, what would it be?

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14 Comments »

  1. How about a t-shirt that reads:

    It’s True
    He wants to Omari me!
    He went to Jarrod!

    Not really very motivational, though, is it. Oh, well.
    It’s just that everytime I see the loser quarterback I hear that earworm jewelry-store commercial jingle “he went to Jared, it can only be Jared!”
    I wonder if a lot of the Milford high-schoolers get married right out of school. Probably not, or we’d see more summer stories where Gil is asked to preside at the wedding.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — October 18, 2014 @ 10:03 am

  2. That is excellent, Moon Mullins! Very clever!

    “One Team, No Leader”

    Comment by milfordian — October 18, 2014 @ 1:23 pm

  3. ‘Pout 3 Times on the Ceiling if you Want Me.’

    Comment by robmize2013 — October 18, 2014 @ 2:14 pm

  4. Man, I have been killing myself with this because the only things that rhyme with Milford and Mudlark are Will Ford and Mudshark and those produced just the worst slogans (although the latter did bring a particular Frank Zappa tune to mind)… Then I remembered you said to treat this as though I were (shudder) Coach Shaw and I realized a terrible slogan was the desideratum…

    Milford High Football – We dreamed about finishing second!

    Yeah, so anyway, I’ll share something else that I’ve been working up for the Milford Chamber of Commerce during my free time at Shultz’s Polynesian:

    Milford – Come for the water, stay for the psychotic break!

    Comment by timbuys — October 18, 2014 @ 2:16 pm

  5. Runner-Up Pride!

    Comment by FoolyRain — October 18, 2014 @ 6:59 pm

  6. We’re Number Two!

    Comment by vaganova — October 18, 2014 @ 7:24 pm

  7. Derek Jeter once remarked that you never start the season saying “Hey, let’s make the wild card this year!” He never visited Mfnrd.

    Comment by vaganova — October 18, 2014 @ 8:05 pm

  8. Is anyone else old enough to remember the days that Avis Rent-a-Car used to boast “We’re #2 — We Try Harder!”

    Comment by Moon Mullins — October 18, 2014 @ 8:07 pm

  9. One team. One dream. Second place.

    Comment by Tracer Bullet — October 18, 2014 @ 9:00 pm

  10. Isn’t it a tie for second place ?

    Comment by Bobby Joe — October 19, 2014 @ 8:41 am

  11. “If you have two starting quarterbacks, you don’t have any.”

    Comment by John S. Walters — October 20, 2014 @ 10:16 am

  12. Gang of Four reference? Nice. Unless it’s a reference to Michael Stipe’s use of that line in the intro to World Leader Pretend on the Green tour, in which case… double nice!

    Comment by James — October 20, 2014 @ 9:01 pm

  13. Unless it’s a Heart of Darkness reference, which isn’t too bad either.

    Comment by James — October 20, 2014 @ 9:03 pm

  14. It’s… all three! I was waiting for someone to pick up on that. Gang of Four were quoting Conrad when they wrote the song. Beth Orton also used the line in “Live As You Dream.” Thanks!

    Milford Football is a gang of more than four, and Jarrod Hale may not have a heart of darkness, only a heart of pettiness.

    Comment by teenchy — October 21, 2014 @ 3:22 am


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