This Week in Milford

December 12, 2014

The state trophy is a freak hand



Gil Thorp


And Day 2 of the feel-good title drought quenching has the official final play of the season being a state-title winning touchdown run by Jarrod, who never would have carried the ball if he didnt get kicked out from behind center by ostensibly a more talented player. We’ll never know how far the Larks wouldve gone with Jarrod at QB, but all’s well that ends well, and even though he knows he was a dickwad about almost everything until the position resolution, which included a brief stint at WR, Jarrod must call a truce with True and shake hands. At least he knows the team goal since day 1 of summer 7 on 7’s has been reached, and he isnt gonna go Joe Commando on them now, as there’s nothing left to play for. The fans appear properly celebratory, including the guy looking up to heaven and saying – ‘I never thought I’d live to see this day’ even though he’s only been waiting a couple years or so; for most of us its been a slog thru the wilderness of underacheivement and lack of focus bringing many a Milford team down. And it took till mid-December for this marathon to end, but I think the whole team will have perspective on the many events leading up to this and chalk them up to a growing experience. P3 has True’s freak hand gesturimg to his teammates and reminding Jarrod that football is the ultimate team game; stars cant win games all by themselves.



  1. tshirt action! Now that we have an offical final score the front art might change a little.

    Please send me a note: mudlark at reallyfc dot com if you’re interested.

    Comment by G-Man — December 12, 2014 @ 2:00 pm

  2. G-Man, appreciate your efforts, but after all the smack he talked to Gil somehow I just don’t think Marty deserves to be on that shirt.

    On to today’s strip

    P1: The Mudlark title has taken years off of Jerry Lewis’ face. Speaking of faces, behind Jerry a Milford student re-enacts the He-Man O face animated GIF.

    P2: “Hey True! Shake my melting wax hand!”

    P3: Who’s flipping us off? Is that helmet being held aloft big enough for two or what? Is that guy gonna club Austin Shuford over the head with it?

    Comment by teenchy — December 12, 2014 @ 2:20 pm

  3. If you had any interest in including Milford’s 2014 schedule on those shirts (a common practice when high schools print shirts for championship-winning teams), it will be listed out below G-Man. I’m down for shirt regardless.

    On to Milford Mudlark Record Book.xlsx!

    2014 Milford Mudlark Football 12-1, 8-0 in the Valley Conference, 4-0 in the playdowns/offs, State Champions

    W @ Oakwood 33-8
    L @ Shaw* 14-21
    W vs Jefferson 42-6
    W ? Tilden
    W @ Central
    W vs Goshen 45-10
    W @ Madison
    W ? New Thayer
    W @ Valley Tech 30-14
    W ? Glenoak**
    W @ Timken** 35-28
    W ? McKinley**
    W vs Pius XI*** 23-21

    * Non-conference
    ** Playdowns/offs
    *** State Championship

    Way to make the most of a rare moment. This is Milford’s first postseason appearance in football since 2003, when they were shut out by Forest View 41-0 in the first round. We saw the first postseason football win since a 2001 victory over Central in the so-called “Valley Conference Tournament”. This is Milford’s first postseason appearance in ANY sport since 2012-13 boys basketball lost in the first round to Hamilton and Pat the Pig. We saw the school’s first postseason win in ANY sport since the 2005-2006 boys basketball team beat North Bend in the famous hobo-dressed Ted Pearse heckler game.
    Of course, this is Milford’s first state championship in football, and the Mudlark’s first state championship in any sport since the 2001-2002 boys basketball team went 26-0 en route to the title. Baseball won the state championship in 2000.

    Gil’s coaching record in football now moves to 81-49-2 with 2 unknowns since 2001, with a 67-37-1 record in the Valley Conference and a 6-2 postseason record. The 12 wins this year are his most since winning 8 games in 2001. He holds short winning streaks on every team in the Valley Conference and has beaten Central, Goshen, New Thayer, and Oakwood 10 times since 2001. He has beaten Valley Tech 12 times since 2001.
    Minus the 1996-2000 seasons, Gil’s career football record is 291-125-18, so it is likely that he has won over 300 games if including those 5 missing seasons. Someday I’ll track those down in the Google Newspaper Archives or something.

    A total of 28 named characters appeared this football season. Only 7 new characters were introduced during the football season, though several key newcomers to the team were introduced during the football-oriented summer plot. Best potential Hall of Name candidates: Saad Shamoun and Ladonna Ausby. Character milestones: Mimi Thorp makes her 50th season appearance since spring 2001.

    The most famous spreadsheet associated with an American comic strip about high school sports that is discussed on this blog will return at the conclusion of basketball season. Could another playdown run be in the works? Not likely after last year’s 3-3 season, but who knows? Maybe this is the year everything comes up Milford…

    Comment by billytheskink — December 12, 2014 @ 2:37 pm

  4. “The 12 wins this year are his most since winning 8 games in 2001.”

    Should be more like 8 wins in 2001 were the most until this year’s 12 wins. Sorry.

    Comment by billytheskink — December 12, 2014 @ 4:14 pm

  5. Prediction time:
    Having suffered extensive damage to his shoulder on the final drive, Truman will never again be the elite QB prospect he was, and will give up football entirely by his senior year of college. He will, however, continue to be involved in the game as a coach, and dream of what might have been had he stayed healthy. Years, later, he will marry. The couple will have a son, and name him Falstaff. But of course, in keeping with family tradition, everyone will just call him “False.”

    Comment by Tim OShenko — December 12, 2014 @ 4:24 pm

  6. OK – here’s the T-Shirt order form. I have taken your comments into account. I got a nice shirt in two colors so I hope you’re OK with the price.

    Comment by G-Man — December 12, 2014 @ 4:32 pm

  7. Since it came up yesterday: The clock was irrelevant. A timeout stopped the clock with 4 seconds to play. The clock starts on the snap and play continues until the ball carrier is downed or he scores, even if the clock runs out. Whether Mfrd had to kick the PAT depends on rules of . . . whatever state they’re in.


    Comment by Tracer Bullet — December 12, 2014 @ 7:24 pm

  8. Boom chak a la ka! Gil is going to get some tonight! Mimi probably already has the “lemonade” ready!

    Comment by Milfordian — December 12, 2014 @ 8:43 pm

  9. True: “We never could have done this without you, Jarrod. Or any of these guys”.
    Jarrod: “We could have done it without Dale. In fact, we did”.
    True: “That’s right. Dale’s about as useless as Justin Bieber on Seal Team Six”.

    Comment by Philip — December 13, 2014 @ 6:31 pm

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