This Week in Milford

January 8, 2015

Those Who Can’t, Manage (or Three Towels, You’re Out)

January 8, 2015


How far is it from Lewistown to Milford?  Well there’s more than one Lewistown but, recalling the girls played Mifflin County a week ago, I’m guessing it’s the one in Pennsylvania (and the boys are playing one of Mifflin County’s predecessor schools?). In any case, it’s gonna be a long walk home for Bobby when Kaz throws him off the bus.

What convoluted thinking compelled Bobby to bark out orders to a player on the court (the Jordanesque Kenny B)?  2 x (Kaz: “take a chill pill”) –> 2 x chill –> smooth jazz –> Kenny G –> Kenny B? Have we been introduced to Kenny B or Garry yet? Garry may be the #14 who was ready to slap Bobby on Tuesday. In any event I expect this latest transgression will cost Bobby his job. Then he can keep his detailed notes and stats from the stands where he belongs.

meta: That’s all I’ve got for today. It’s not easy to come up with something fresh and witty to snark on Rubin’s steady stream of obnoxious, know-it-all douchebags whose reach exceeds their grasp. Even the excitement of the football state championship arc had to be set up by two such in Jarrod Hale and Art Standish (three if you count the Valley Tech coach; I don’t). Would it be too much to ask for just one seasonal arc without a Jerk with a Heart of Gold?




  1. Perhaps someone could watch the scene from “Full Metal Jacket” where R. Lee Ermey introduces himself to the recruits, and use that for inspiration when explaining to Bobby what his duties are.

    Comment by Philip — January 8, 2015 @ 8:05 am

  2. Philip, I thought about that but I’ve used the FMJ reference here once before. Still, it would put those towels to good use.

    Comment by teenchy — January 8, 2015 @ 8:16 am

  3. And of course, Gil sits at the end of the bench ignoring all of this. This seems to perfectly fit the don’t-care, hands-off, let others coach my team demeanor he has become known for in recent years. Of course, Gil my be purposefully ignoring Kaz and Bobby because this whole conversation is just really annoying…

    Comment by billytheskink — January 8, 2015 @ 8:20 am

  4. Garry’s WTF? expression in P3 forshadows some upcoming lockerroom shenanigans replete with strong racial undertones. RoBob will soon receive schooling on his glaring deficit in STFU , a metric not found nor measured on “spreadsheets”.

    To avoid offending our sensibilities on the topics of bullying and race relations, this smackdown will likely appear in Sunday’s strip.

    Comment by g2design — January 8, 2015 @ 8:44 am

  5. Maybe this is the entire winter storyline: just Bobby being a complete douche every single day until mid-April, when we’ll suddenly switch to baseball season.

    Comment by John S. Walters — January 8, 2015 @ 9:58 am

  6. How did Bobby get the impression that he was empowered to provide his input? Maybe someone (Gil) shod have stepped on his neck immediately to let him know his place.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — January 8, 2015 @ 10:16 am

  7. How did I miss that they’re in the Mifflin area? I hope they don’t run into any blood-sucking monkeys from West Mifflin!

    Comment by Moon Mullins — January 8, 2015 @ 10:26 am

  8. Moon – Scary stuff kiddies! Did you see how that….. came right out at you? Oooooooooooh!

    Comment by g2design — January 8, 2015 @ 10:49 am

  9. Yeah, this just isn’t ringing remotely true. Assuming that’s the second time that Kaz used the chill pill line (and not that we’re doing the whole Memento thing), how that would ‘remind’ Bobby to start coaching the players during the game is staggeringly unbelievable.

    Also, it seems that Kaz really, really does want that towel…

    Comment by timbuys — January 8, 2015 @ 11:13 am

  10. Bobby Howry, as a wannabe “big time coach”, should understand the importance of towels as coaching implements.
    Think John Thompson or Jerry Tarkanian.

    I got lost in the vicinity of West Mifflin as a teen. My cousins and I got on the wrong bus when we left Kennywood. Fortunately, we got it straightened out before the sun went down or we would have fallen victim to the blood sucking monkeys for sure!

    Comment by nedryerson — January 8, 2015 @ 12:12 pm

  11. Tom Penders understands the importance of towels…

    Comment by billytheskink — January 8, 2015 @ 1:54 pm

  12. Bobby just keeps on crossing lines, doesn’t he? I have a feeling #14 will zing him before the night is over, and I am pretty sure there will be repercussions to his shouting “instructions” to that big forward. Meanwhile, Gil sits silently, perhaps winding up like a capacitor. Coaching in real time is hard enough without a self-propelled distraction on your bench with you.

    Comment by vaganova — January 8, 2015 @ 2:10 pm

  13. Why isn’t Bobby working as an assistant to Marty Moon? Somebody’s got to hook up the mult box connection.

    Comment by Dood — January 8, 2015 @ 4:07 pm

  14. Dood, I like your thinking.

    Comment by vaganova — January 8, 2015 @ 4:46 pm

  15. […] he the same guy Bobby Howry tried to coach? Ken Brown’s hair grows […]

    Pingback by No Harm, No Poul | This Week in Milford — January 29, 2015 @ 6:52 am

  16. […] Maybe he’s read some of today’s tributes to the late Jerry Tarkanian and (as Ned recently observed) come to realize the importance of keeping up your coaches’ towel supply. Rest in peace, […]

    Pingback by Apathy Valley | This Week in Milford — February 12, 2015 @ 7:34 am

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