This Week in Milford

April 4, 2015

Won’t Somebody Think of the Children?

April 4, 2015


So who are these two twentysomethings jogging off into the sunset? Putting the burden of this stinker of a basketball season behind them has taken years off the Thorps’ appearance. Maybe Mimi’s spent the season getting plastic surgery spa treatments with the money Mudlark boosters have been slipping Gil after winning the state football title. (Given she was only seen coaching once – and that during practice – she’s certainly had the time on her hands.)

Quick cut to the MILFORD RECREATION CENTER (nice Chartpak lettering on the facade there) and we’re left with an unprecedented WTF plot resolution. In Gil’s own words:

“Bobby manipulated Max Bacon as an experiment, and then to impress a girl. He hurt Max – and he hurt the team.”

This is the kind of kid you let coach children at a rec center? Rubin, you are so dumb, you are really dumb, for real.

What kind of legend will these kids be a part of? I’ll leave it to the words of another Gil:



  1. Crap – we have to deal with Max Baco-bits again next year. At least this implies we won’t see either of these a-holes in b-ball season, which should start in tank-town on Monday.

    Comment by Milfordian — April 4, 2015 @ 6:15 am

  2. Mr. Bacon is “hitting the weight room”–he’ll be back in time for football as a receiver for that there superquarterback (trench standish?) Gill has stashed away. Only this fall he’ll call himself Sizzlean.

    Comment by lester — April 4, 2015 @ 6:40 am

  3. Anyone who has been around little kid teams knows that you’ll spend less time working on ball-handling drills than you’ll spend getting snacks that will satisfy all the parents (“Is this gluten free?”).
    And I was SO looking forward to the confrontation between Leisl and Bobby once she learned the truth. Well, maybe she’ll play softball.

    Comment by Philip — April 4, 2015 @ 7:40 am

  4. I agree, teenchy, the end game for RoBob is weak sauce. Are we resolving Robert’s ASD by making him the Pied Piper of double-dribble? His shenanigans are harmless but are child’s play?

    I do appreciate Whigham’s attempt to distance himself from this dumpster fire: The smiley face t-shirt (although Mr. Yuk would have been more appropriate.)

    Comment by g2design — April 4, 2015 @ 8:19 am

  5. in the color edition today, Mimi’s sweat shirt is pink & her tied sweater (hoodie?) is white… yesterday it was grey & purple, respectively…

    Comment by Rowdyman — April 4, 2015 @ 8:52 am

  6. “See these little pills, boys and girls? They’re called Ritalin! Can you say Ritalin?”

    Yeah, this will end well.

    Comment by John S. Walters — April 4, 2015 @ 9:11 am

  7. OK. We have a boy so obsessed with basketball that he will manipulate players with the offer of drugs, and now he is coaching children.

    I suspect no one asked Gil during any background check, and that questions will arise.

    Wanting to be a great coach is a nice dream, but let’s remember that Hitler’s original goal was to be a recognized watercolorist…

    Comment by vaganova — April 4, 2015 @ 2:25 pm

  8. […] “Aaron, those are Tic Tacs. She got ’em from Bobby Howry down at the MILFORD RECREATION CENTER.” […]

    Pingback by “it’s not just a mint, it’s an oxycodone” | This Week in Milford — March 2, 2017 @ 6:30 am

  9. […] what end?  He might think he’s better qualified to coach the Mudlarks after his stint at the MILFORD RECREATION CENTER but there’s that little matter of drug dealing that may keep him out of the […]

    Pingback by Won’t Quit? Seems Legit | This Week in Milford — December 22, 2018 @ 1:11 pm

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