This Week in Milford

July 2, 2015

The Guy Covering Second Is Melting!


(Alternate title: “Hurry Up and Lose Already! Part 3“)

Well since the summer of 2015 is already over a week old and his mom’s garbage won’t take itself out, Marty’s really behind the eight ball. His APBA simulation of Milford baseball would’ve gone a bit faster if he hadn’t trotted out those baseball player cake toppers he’s kept since his ninth birthday party. Oh, and here’s a picture of Jim Joyce he cut out to add more realism. Maybe he can screw up the game for the Mudlarks the way he did for Armando Galarraga.

His middle infielder was placed too close to one of his birthday candles and started melting below the waist. No probs, just gives Marty a backstory for how Milford will throw the game away and miss the playdowns. Hey, Gil’s still basking in the glow of that state football championship; we can’t have any more success going to his head!



  1. Before seeing the picture, the first thought I had regarding P2 was that the ump’s channelling the Tokyo team from Rollerball.

    Comment by FoolyRain — July 2, 2015 @ 5:34 am

  2. P1–strange batter’s box & even stranger 1 & 3 base foul lines are not “square”… they should be at right angles lined up w/the back edges of home plate….

    Comment by Rowdyman — July 2, 2015 @ 5:45 am

  3. Three questions:
    1. Is there a single public school district anywhere in the country that is still in session? Let alone still playing regular season baseball?
    2. Is there a single high school baseball stadium where the pressbox is that high up? Or is Marty perched on top of the lunchroom?
    3. Is the summer story line going to be so weak that we will start to miss Boo?

    Comment by Philip — July 2, 2015 @ 5:53 am

  4. Christ – that’s a horrific Achilles rupture and perhaps a displaced fibula fracture too. Foley better bring two buckets of KCF to the hospital for his poor crippled shortstop.

    Comment by g2design — July 2, 2015 @ 7:11 am

  5. I was going to make an extremely topical Tae-Bo umpire joke, but dang, panel 2 didn’t even adhere to the high school art class “change 3 things when copying” rule with that Jim Joyce photo.

    Comment by billytheskink — July 2, 2015 @ 7:13 am

  6. Rowdyman, with school closed for summer they are playing on a shuffleboard court. This explains the highly original white lines.

    Comment by vaganova — July 2, 2015 @ 7:32 am

  7. Marty’s seriously going for the basement miniature diorama realism in panel one.

    Comment by Dood — July 2, 2015 @ 7:35 am

  8. Does Marty use an Electric Baseball game to run his basement simulations. It would seem like the gameplay would be on par with Mfnrd sports, in terms of fractured, non quite realism.

    Comment by nedryerson — July 2, 2015 @ 7:57 am

  9. Excellent, Ned! Tudor Electric Baseball(TM) — a person could throw some crazy pitches with that game!

    Comment by Dood — July 2, 2015 @ 8:55 am

  10. Hey, maybe this “season” is just a dream sequence in Marty’s mind. That’s why the field is distorted and the games have continued well into summertime.

    Also, that narration box in panel 1 certainly diffuses the potential “True lets down the team” angle. They came into this “big game” with virtually no shot at a title.

    Comment by John S. Walters — July 2, 2015 @ 2:28 pm

  11. Yes, John S, the only extenuating circumstance needed for Mfnrd to tie for the title that is not mentioned is an unpredicted solar eclipse. But hey, we got to see False scowling in a bathrobe, Boo appealing for help, and True, as usual, Trying to Do the Right Thing. Hoping for True Boo this summer rather than that goddamn golf club.

    Comment by vaganova — July 2, 2015 @ 2:43 pm

  12. Ned, that’s a great Tudor Electric Baseball Set! It can be dated almost perfectly back to 1970-71, the only two seasons in which the Brewers (were the expansion Pilots in 1969) and the Senators (became the Rangers in 1972) were both in the American League.

    Comment by teenchy — July 3, 2015 @ 3:02 pm

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