This Week in Milford

November 12, 2015

You Can Think? Since When?


This arc gets ever more implausible – as implausible as a talking ear. Or a third-rate reality show being saved by the corny jokes of a self-proclaimed class clown. Or said class clown having a credible idea for a spinoff from said third-rate reality show. Or said third-rate reality show’s sleazy producer giving said self-proclaimed class clown the time of day to pitch said idea. Or said self-proclaimed class clown playing video games with his introverted brother with bad hair (despite his shampoo brand first name) in his spare time – oh, wait, that one is kinda plausible.

I guess we can see why Dor(k)y was the Darwin brother who got chosen for more screen time: even though his lips have lips, he still looks less like an adopted grandchild of Walt Williams.*

* I know I’ve used that joke here sometime before, just can’t remember when.



  1. I can hardly wait for “Hi Skool Hijinx,” in which Dory cracks wise in class and pulls all sorts of “hilarious” pranks and stunts. Loosen the salt shakers in the cafeteria? Pour vegetable oil in the hallways and watch everybody fall down? Smear poo on doorknobs? Ratings gold!

    Comment by John S. Walters — November 12, 2015 @ 7:25 am

  2. After careful study, Harvard and I say Dorky has leadership potential. Alan is wise to hear out this upstanding young man.

    How Earlobes Can Signify Leadership Potential

    Comment by g2design — November 12, 2015 @ 8:28 am

  3. Dory: “We both know what I’ve done for your show.”
    Alan: “Nobody’s doing anything for this show. The last two people watching it are Thorp’s wife and your grandmother. Marty Moon thought he was watching it, but he punched the wrong numbers on his remote. He got a Polish language music video channel, and never knew the difference. The only reason we haven’t been cancelled is that the network forgot we’re still on. And if this idea came from the same part of your alleged brain as those embarrassing jokes, keep it to yourself. In fact, you’d be better off if you never spoke again. Maybe John Pascoe could give you lessons, or something.”
    Dory: “So I’ll skip practice tomorrow and we’ll go over the idea?”
    Alan: “See you then.”

    Comment by Philip — November 12, 2015 @ 8:33 am

  4. I remember the days when we used to complain about Sacko and Hatt’s shtick on Perp Spotlight… if only we knew about Dory… if only we knew those were really the good old days…

    Comment by billytheskink — November 12, 2015 @ 9:38 am

  5. I have a dynamite idea for a reality show about a bunch of dudes who read a cruddy daily comic strip and write a hilarious blog about it. Can I get a meeting with Alan Bittmayne?

    How are ya?!

    How are ya??!!

    Comment by nedryerson — November 12, 2015 @ 9:49 am

  6. We now see a glimmer of hope; the foreshadowing of how this dumpster fire fizzles out. Alan can screw with Milford, the School District, the student body, even with Gil’s wife (well, not literally.) Practice, however, is inviolate.

    So, Dorky skips, Gil throws a right hook, Alan tips over, Holly cowers and Marty takes another swig. Then, on to playdowns! Please?

    Comment by g2design — November 12, 2015 @ 10:41 am

  7. g2, you have given me an idea. Ordinarily, I dislike recycled panels (for some reason I always notice them.) But Kaz has been under the radar for weeks now- wouldn’t it be nice if he and Alan the Irritant got bandying words, Kaz told him “Ease up, friend,” and then…

    Comment by vaganova — November 12, 2015 @ 12:21 pm

  8. Practice? You mean there’s still a football season going on? I thought Rubin would integrate the reality show plot with the football team’s progress, but no such luck. Never thought I’d miss seeing how the Mudlarks ae doing, but at this point I’m ready to flip the channel to the high school sports highlights, because this reality show plot is dragging.

    Comment by AirForbes — November 12, 2015 @ 6:13 pm

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