This Week in Milford

December 3, 2015

Punch? Drunk? Love?


Alternate title: “Gil Thorp Has Lost Control of Milford.”

Well here we go again. Rubin, rushing to end this implausibly stupid fall arc, isn’t even bothering to throw his APBA dice to explain how he’ll make Milford lose. We’re supposed to connect the dots and conclude that Dor(k)y’s personal foul caused the Mudlarks to lose but unless there’s some tunrover we’re missing it’s the Milford defense that gave up the winning score to New Thayer. Remember the immortal words of Erk Russell, Neal: “If we score, we may win. If they never score, we’ll never lose.”

Marty, trying desperately to stay on the wagon, has taken to keeping Charms Blow Pops in his crate but that doesn’t stop him from seeing little bitty spots in front of his eyes. He may have rabbititis.

True still nursing that possibly separated shoulder on his non-throwing arm? Wuss. Fragility won’t land him a scholly anywhere. Has he thought about becoming a barista? I hear you can do that with pride.



  1. The chain of causality is getting longer and longer, and it’s no longer possible to blame everything on Holly Wood. True got hurt, but you can’t be sure it’s because Dorky Darwin skipped practice. Now, revealing his true colors (those of a moron incited by insults incited by that asinine TV show) Dorky has committed a flagrant personal foul when Mfnrd might have tied the game. The blame is moving farther and farther from Holly Wood, almost as if the players had something to do with the outcome.

    Comment by vaganova — December 3, 2015 @ 7:27 am


    Comment by g2design — December 3, 2015 @ 7:28 am

  3. Using a closed fist on a helmet?

    Comment by g2design — December 3, 2015 @ 7:36 am

  4. To borrow a Mary Worth-ism, this is action… of a kind.
    It’s definitely more interesting than any time spent with Holly, and less so than any time spent with Alan Bittmayne, because we all love the possibility for endless Bobby Bittman references.

    So where does this rank in the Milford pantheon of punches? Behind Kaz’s defense of Gail Martin for sure, but perhaps it ranks near Steve Luhm’s sock to the jaw of the fan that was making fun of Ted Pearse for not having a mailbox.

    Comment by billytheskink — December 3, 2015 @ 8:43 am

  5. Is Jarrods chin down? Are his pants and jersey dirty? I don’t think he did all he could to win this game.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — December 3, 2015 @ 9:43 am

  6. Um… is True wearing the sling on his right arm today?

    Comment by John S. Walters — December 3, 2015 @ 9:45 am

  7. Nah, the banana pointer is in front of the sling.
    It’s kind of nice that the only people in Milford who care that the football team is falling apart are Marty & Jarroo.

    Comment by Downpuppy (@Downpuppy) — December 3, 2015 @ 11:27 am

  8. So here we are. “That championship season” was a one-off, and instead of creating a story about trying to win another– successfully or not– Whigrub has chosen to show us instead how those bad mass media people– recruiting news vultures, reality show exploiters, etc– screw up everything for the good guys. I kind of like the idea of developing a story about not having much of a line, and having a promising young player costing the team because he is prone to childish mistakes, but I guess that wasn’t enough.

    Comment by vaganova — December 3, 2015 @ 6:06 pm

  9. If he was punching the New Thayerian in the chest, Dory may of well have just shoved the guy. If he was aiming higher, he’s even stupider than we thought.

    Comment by nedryerson — December 3, 2015 @ 7:11 pm

  10. Dr Ned raises an interesting question. The linebacker’s head and chest are protected by (hard) equipment and Dorky would hurt himself worse than he would his tormentor with an actual punch. I’m more intrigued by #51’s exploding eyeball, since goading Dorky into popping his cork was 51’s goal all along. You needle the opponent to get him to lose his cool and draw a penalty, and 51 would be more pleased than surprised.

    Comment by vaganova — December 3, 2015 @ 7:20 pm

  11. Five panels of kids on the field and the closest we get to ‘actual action’ is a punch(?) thrown after a play. We don’t even get to see the disco referee throw a flag!

    Comment by timbuys — December 4, 2015 @ 1:52 pm

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