This Week in Milford

December 28, 2015

You Just Got Kenzied!


Maxwell Bacon is going to do it the right way this season. He’s not a brand. He’s not on fake prescription drugs. He’s just Maxwell Bacon, staring into the dead eyes of Gil Thorp, looking to get the most out of his 163 pounds of straight edge, off-brand boringness. This means we need a boor, a nimrod, a braggart or other certified dildo to show up and hijack the basketball season.

Hey you, anonymous practice player in Panel 2! What are you doing this season? Do you have a weird name, a hunger for notoriety, an overbearing parent or two? Maybe you can be this season’s stand out….uh wait a minute kid, hold that thought, we might get back to you. We’ve got to check in with…

Kenzie Hanley! This is where the real potential is for this season. (Sorry anonymous kid. Don’t call us, etc.) I don’t know what she’s doing in Panel 3, dribbling through another player or attempting to strip a ball by straight up THUD-mugging. She’s a rugby player and she only just heard about basketball last week. We have a front row seat to the carnage. This is Thunderdome.



  1. Other players? check!
    Involves a ball? check!
    Passing and scoring? check!

    Rugby is just like Basketball! Who knew?

    Comment by g2design — December 28, 2015 @ 8:23 am

  2. Can we hope for a rugby sub-arc? Herk the Mauler still has some of us longing for a non-football/basketball/baseball/golf story line, and it’d be a good excuse for random haka references.

    In any event I’m already imagining a song parody in the works this winter.

    Comment by teenchy — December 28, 2015 @ 8:35 am

  3. And once again, GIl’s dreams come true: a student straightens out his life with minimal/no help from his coach. Gil apparently hasn’t even laid eyes on Max since the end of basketball last year; the kid just shows up for the new season with his personal problems solved — and in fighting shape to boot. Yep, life’s just one big picnic for Our Gil.

    (Complete with a big pitcher of Long Island Iced Tea.)

    Comment by John S. Walters — December 28, 2015 @ 9:11 am

  4. It’s early– we’ve only seen Kenzie on the court twice now– but already we have some decent effects, including today’s THUD! And teenchy has mentioned Herk the Mauler, who last gave us great sound effects (my personal favorite was the WUD! which resulted when he elbowed punk #2 in the side of the head.) So we can hope. Not that anyone’s going to top that Herk plot soon: how many stories can make you laugh out loud when you think of them two years later?

    Comment by vaganova — December 28, 2015 @ 11:18 am

  5. So, Max, who took the (fake) PEDs is back on the team; but the student manager who was pressured to give Max the (fake) PED is still exiled? Nice.

    Comment by A HREF — December 28, 2015 @ 2:27 pm

  6. Was Max ever a brand? Oh yeah, I think I saw him on the store shelves in the Emilio Estevez movie Repo Man.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — December 28, 2015 @ 3:02 pm

  7. Find one in every car…. you’ll see.

    Comment by g2design — December 28, 2015 @ 7:41 pm

  8. The life of a repo man is always intense.

    Comment by timbuys — December 28, 2015 @ 8:40 pm

  9. […] wants to be a ball player First she’s got to learn to box Gonna lay in bed with no socks Flexes her elbow, taut and free (Mimi’s folly) wait and see Drink up the lake, Kenzie’s awake […]

    Pingback by Young Miss Kenzie | This Week in Milford — January 7, 2016 @ 5:31 am

  10. […] Jadine’s a veteran Lady Mudlark who’s used to getting knocked around by her teammates during practice. She should know how to handle that by now, assuming she’s gotten over those stomach […]

    Pingback by Jadine, honey is that you? | This Week in Milford — January 20, 2018 @ 2:02 pm

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