This Week in Milford

June 6, 2016

DUI Del’s Done Driving

Filed under: Chunky Bracelets, deployed airbags, freak hands — nedryerson @ 3:52 am

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So it was Del, the industrial solvent salesman, SKRASHING into Boo Radley’s famous Jeep Compass. So now we have about two weeks to get Del in an orange jumpsuit and also tally up the results of the dugout betting pool. Who had Del racking up an additional DUI and serving some mandatory jail time? How will this impact Barry? Is Barry still around or did he skip town three weeks ago?

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20 Comments »

  1. Not too surprised by the outcome. I didn’t think Rubin had the stomach for a Teen Angel situation. But the most crucial questions remains unanswered: Will Boo have to enter the Concussion Protocol? Will the Lady Mudlarks go on a losing streak that will cost them the play downs, thus giving Mimi an early start to summer vacation? I mean, those pitchers of Long Island Iced Tea won’t just appear in Gil’s fridge on their own.

    Comment by John S. Walters — June 6, 2016 @ 4:32 am

  2. Last year’s summer story … er, summer plot … oh, whatever you want to call that thing that never got started. Anyhow. It began on 13 July. I’m estimating five more weeks here. Del will have to face the music, Barry will shut his mouth, Boo will be too badly hurt to throw her fastball but will ride the knuckler to the brink of the postseason, and Boo’s mom will have to go get milk herself.
    Watching Del kiss the airbag in P1 reminded me of a case up our way several years ago. A driver fled the scene of an accident and could not be located for several hours, giving him time to sober up. Problem was, the CSI people inspected the spot on the airbag where the driver’s face landed, and found particles of cocaine. The trial did not go well for him.

    Comment by Philip — June 6, 2016 @ 6:08 am

  3. Let’s not leave out the possibility that Del has an unmitigated Takata airbag.

    Comment by Nate — June 6, 2016 @ 7:17 am

  4. Well, shiite. Call me a bastard, but I was hoping for some blood and guts, rendered in beautiful noir. Is that wrong?

    Comment by g2design — June 6, 2016 @ 7:27 am

  5. A Detroit writer showing a wreck between a pair of American cars? The chances of blood and guts were never very high.

    Comment by billytheskink — June 6, 2016 @ 7:29 am

  6. Nate, I like your thinking. I was not thinking Teen Angel myself, but thought she would definitely be hurt, which she may be. That kind of impact rattles your molars, and even if she does not have any broken bones, it’s likely that at least her game will be affected. Given what a jerk Del is, he will try to pin the blame on Boo, and I’m thinking more about how she will show he was running without lights. No sign of witnesses thus far, but the fact he will surely be found to be drunk will not help his case.

    Comment by vaganova — June 6, 2016 @ 7:30 am

  7. Thanks phillip, I can never remember how the seasons break down in Gil Thorp. In my defense, they always seem like they need to be over well before they actually end. I wonder if elements of the Baders’ story will cross over into summer. There’s a lot to explore.

    Comment by nedryerson — June 6, 2016 @ 7:33 am

  8. Well, the Jeep is sitting broadside in the other lane now…

    Comment by g2design — June 6, 2016 @ 7:34 am

  9. Good point, g2d. Hopefully there’s not another idiot careening down the road with no lights. They wouldn’t do that to us, would they?

    Comment by nedryerson — June 6, 2016 @ 7:40 am

  10. It would be our third summer with True, and we are already in our second year with Boo. They have been rounder characters than most, and it would make sense if Whigrub continued their stories into summer. Characters have stayed on stage for three years before, but in recent years it’s been increasingly unusual. Bader the Less has not appeared since “Got it!” between first and second, and is about due to show up. I have seen him as another waste of ink on the Knox Foley model, but could be surprised.

    Comment by vaganova — June 6, 2016 @ 9:01 am

  11. Gil hasn’t been seen since May 18. Another Johnny Carson like hiatus? Last seen he was on the couch with Mimi who had wine glass in hand while a mysterious billow of smoke appeared beyond their window. I originally thought a plane was going down. I suppose it could’ve been a meteor containing a “Blob”. Maybe Gil has been consumed.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — June 6, 2016 @ 10:43 am

  12. When sealed beam headlights get smashed, the tungsten filaments show whether the lights were on/off. If the filaments are hot from conducting electricity, they will decompose when exposed to oxygen. Accident Reconstruction 101…

    Comment by Rowdyman — June 6, 2016 @ 10:51 am

  13. vaganova–determining whether lights on/off should be known by many police officers. most larger departments have an officer well versed in accident reconstruction. whether Milford or Central City has any expertise in this arena will be seen….. or a deus ex machina, say a professor from State engineering school swooping in…

    Comment by Rowdyman — June 6, 2016 @ 11:08 am

  14. Interesting, Rowdyman. I’d been figuring that Swifti Mart had a surveillance camera on its parking lot that would catch enough of the accident to show Del’s headlights.

    Comment by Philip — June 6, 2016 @ 12:03 pm

  15. I thought of the possibility of a surveillance camera, but am glad to have Rowdyman’s contribution on headlight filaments. I had no idea that was part of accident reconstruction, but now that I read it, it makes complete sense. Rowdyman, do you know if there are other forms of headlight in common use in which this would not be the case? I am basically a performer by trade, thus I think of character and motivation, and assumed that Del, who has shown he holds law and truth in contempt to begin with, would try to lie his way out of it. I do hope we get a color strip at some point with him in an orange jumpsuit.

    Comment by vaganova — June 6, 2016 @ 12:33 pm

  16. Ruh-roh, ned and g2d. Remember that True is heading toward a meeting with Boo. Are we set up for a double crash?

    Comment by John S. Walters — June 6, 2016 @ 2:00 pm

  17. I thought Boo was simply going to call True back when she got home. Most people have the situational awareness to drive with headlights, thus there is little risk of second crash unless a “blind corner” is involved. I have not seen this mentioned so will put it out myself: Whigrub has many talents, but one of the more notable is the ability to depict repulsive adult males– Dipshit Del is only the latest. Jungle Jim before The Chief came aboard, Art Standish– at least in his first appearance– and the golf father who cheated for his kid come immediately to mind, but there really has been quite a parade. I think that one of Jack Berrill’s original points was that even if your parents are assholes, his combination of GIL Hodges and Jim THORP(E) could serve as a good guide. Perhaps this is why we see so few fathers who would not be automatic nominees for the parenthood Hall of Shame. Now, though, as Jive Turkey points out, Gil has been hors de combat for more than two weeks.

    Comment by vaganova — June 6, 2016 @ 2:31 pm

  18. One burning question: Does either car have cloth upholstery, or just warm leatherette?

    Comment by teenchy — June 6, 2016 @ 4:35 pm

  19. @11 Jive Turkey- “The Blob”. I saw that on late late night when I was about 12 – on a sleepover. Totally unnerved me which seems laughable now.

    Then again, Empire of the Ants had a similar effect on me. That one due to Joan Collins’ stellar acting…

    Comment by g2design — June 6, 2016 @ 7:37 pm

  20. “The Blob” did have one unassailable moment of greatness– the young Steve McQueen successfully delivering the impossible line “Come on, kids– we’ve got to STOP this thing!”

    Comment by vaganova — June 6, 2016 @ 8:20 pm


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