This Week in Milford

October 1, 2016

The Moose Who Wanted To Be An Astronaut

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — nedryerson @ 6:43 am

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I’ll echo Rob’s sentiment from Friday’s post. The Pelwecki Experiment seemed like a tremendous waste of everyone’s time. But if there’s anything we’ve learned in Gil Thorp, it’s that time in Milford is elastic. We can cover multiple games in one strip or spring can expand into summer as need be. A whole program such as girls soccer can appear and then vanish to serve the narrative. (That’s not really a function of time dilation, but a matter of a more general schizophrenic editorial focus.) So we aren’t supposed to focus on the fact that everybody had to participate in this farce and that a productive practice was flushed down the toilet so The Secret Pelwecki (aka Moose ??) could learn a lesson. Instead we are supposed to recognize Gil’s gentle and caring touch with young men in need of guidance. We are supposed to recognize that Gil understands that being an inflexible hardass is not the only mode of coaching and that he has an inherent social intelligence that guides his individualized approach to his players. All the other coaches and players can stand around watching Kevin fall on the ball repeatedly (at least that might be something worth practicing) and scratch their heads. But they, like us, are ultimately shown (or more accurately, told) that Gil’s instincts are right and we should never doubt his intentions. We don’t actually know how Gil responded to Moose’s delusional question.  We just have to assume that he didn’t totally burst Kevin’s bubble because we need that delusion to drive this plot to it’s inevitable conclusion: Kevin Pelwecki standing on the moon, sipping Tang and heaving footballs with all the effectiveness of Jeff George.

 

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8 Comments »

  1. Proof positive that Milford is in an alternate reality: in a real high school, Kevin would be on the receiving end of a thorough mocking — best case. Worst case, he’d be getting a beatdown for wasting everybody’s practice time.

    I am more entertained by the idea of Jeff George tossing footballs on the moon than by anything this strip has to offer. Another example of the quality entertainment on offer here at TWIM.

    Comment by John S. Walters — October 1, 2016 @ 6:55 am

  2. In panel 1 Pelwecki is falling on ball near sideline. Wouldn’t he take a snap between the hashes? By taking the snap where he is the wide out would be on other side of the fence. There are no other players around. It looks like a fumbling drill where each player takes a turn falling on the football . Is this really taking up practice time? Seems like Pelwecki, the center and a few RB’s could work on this for about 15 minutes after regular practice is over. Or maybe I’m over analyzing the whole situation.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — October 1, 2016 @ 8:17 am

  3. I’m not sure what’s going on in P-1. As a team member, Pelwecki has covered hundreds of fumbles in practice and hardly needs to do so here. Maybe he was working with the backup center near the sideline and is covering his own fumble? Snaps and handoffs are realistic things to be drilling, though– the first thing a QB has to do is hang onto the goddamn football or hand it securely to someone else.

    Comment by vaganova — October 1, 2016 @ 11:09 am

  4. I think Kevin aka Moose is practicing a Civil Defense drill should Commies/Terrorists stage a bombing raid on Milford(is there a munitions depot nearby that we don’t know about?). This drill might work up to a certain megatonnage but obviously not for nuclear fallout and the padding Moose is wearing would come to nought. We assume Milford has a fallout shelter in the environs. Moose should be thankful he’s falling on a football and not an abnormally-sized grenade(i. e. from an attack) and that CD instruction has served him well or he(or we) would never learn the denouement of his QB ambitions.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 1, 2016 @ 1:04 pm

  5. Well done, Ned. Thanks for covering for me today.

    Is that Dory Darwin talking smack to Pelwecki? He must think no one remembers his screw-ups from last season.

    Comment by teenchy — October 1, 2016 @ 3:52 pm

  6. P2: “Good effort, Moose. BTW, have you ever tried Brylcreem? I’ve got in my top drawer of my desk in my office. It’s done wonders on my scalp since I started coaching in 1958, when Eisenhower was President of you’re keeping score. Hey, a little dab’ll do ya or a lotta dab in your case. Anyway, get the key from the janitor to my office if you wanna apply some. Leave the door unlocked.”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 1, 2016 @ 3:58 pm

  7. Sometimes a single panel can be telling. In this case, “Oh man… that was awful” may show realism on Palooka’s part, suggesting that perhaps he is willing to work hard enough with Heather Burns to be ready to fill in for the starter at a key moment later in the season. But since few full size football teams have only one quarterback, we will need a MacGuffin, perhaps an opponent with a defensive line so big and imposing that a converted lineman will be needed to deal with them?

    Comment by vaganova — October 1, 2016 @ 6:03 pm

  8. Great job Ned except for the unnecessary apostrophe on “its”
    Can’t help it

    Comment by Gil's Barber — October 2, 2016 @ 11:02 pm


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