This Week in Milford

October 4, 2016

Just Straight Up Calling Him A Dummy To His Face


So, Kevin has apparently, secretly if you will, always wanted to play quarterback but, despite diligently practicing his drills on the beach, doesn’t seem to know shit about how to do it.

As opposed to Heather, washed up varsity soccer player and neophyte trainer, who does. I am going to have to assume that at some point here we’re going to learn that her dad/brother/some-other-male-possibly-even-Aaron-Rodgers-for-all-I-know taught her so well that she is sufficiently proficient to be an ad-hoc coach. Furthermore, not only does Heather know how to coach the position, but she then immediately gloms onto the first lumbering oaf to show any interest in learning.

Yep, that all ties together about as well as spaghetti shoelaces.



  1. Maybe Aaron Rodgers didn’t offer, but what’s Elvis Grbac doing these days? Aaron Rodgers to Heather Burns is a heck of a gap, is what I’m sayin’.

    Comment by billytheskink — October 4, 2016 @ 8:06 am

  2. That could be Aaron Rodgers in the shotgun with the Hunchback of Notre Dame in the backfield. It can’t be a high school game. The hash marks are too close.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — October 4, 2016 @ 8:23 am

  3. I should have noted this in yesterday’s comments but I can proudly say that I have stopped in or around Sulphur to fill up the tank on no less than a handful of occasions while driving from/to New Orleans.

    Comment by timbuys — October 4, 2016 @ 10:06 am

  4. Handoffs are a good starting point, ’cause it’ll give Kevin the chance to cop a few feels. Then they can move on to the center snap and boo-ha time. Hey, this could be way more fun than Aaron Rodgers.

    Comment by John S. Walters — October 4, 2016 @ 10:36 am

  5. That should be “hop-ha.” Damn autocorrect doesn’t include graphic slang.

    Comment by John S. Walters — October 4, 2016 @ 10:36 am

  6. And now autocorrect changes it to “hop-ha.” Nice. It’s HOO-HA, dammit!

    Comment by John S. Walters — October 4, 2016 @ 10:37 am

  7. Normally, I will fix people’s comments but I’m kinda enjoying the fight John S is getting into with his autocorrect…

    Comment by timbuys — October 4, 2016 @ 10:45 am

  8. Talk of Kevin practicing the center snap with Heather Burns reminds me of the NFL quarterback in the early sixties who was “shaken up on the play.” A little disoriented, he lined up behind the left guard, who jumped off sides… It will be fun to see if they bring in a third participant.

    Comment by vaganova — October 4, 2016 @ 10:54 am

  9. For a moment, I’m guessing Moose and Heather are getting romantically involved in P1. This Wind Song moment is interrupted by the kid brother in the background. Thankfully, this is NOT how Gil and Mimi tied the knot(“Throw over the top, palm down!!!! BTW, you have such sexy eyes. And that hair, I could fluff through it for days. How ’bout we hit the Milford Drive-In after we’re done here?”). Oh, and there’s P3. They look like part of an Atari 2600 Video Game.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 4, 2016 @ 6:23 pm

  10. All I got to say is “girls overrule Gil’s advice”

    Comment by Gil's Barber — October 4, 2016 @ 8:08 pm

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