This Week in Milford

October 7, 2016

Saturday morning quarterback

Filed under: football, What the hell is going on here? — robmize2013 @ 6:40 pm

Yet another amazing storyline of a non-coach coaching – I could go back and name a bunch of names but thats for the record book guy. Who can get their head around a girl that just retired from playing soccer showing a guy ON THE TEAM how to play quarterback? WHEN THERE ARE PAID COACHES SPECIFICALLY FOR THAT PURPOSE???

We have no idea what her football background is, and I’m sure neither does Moose Longhair. She’s already bitching about him being 5 minutes late; and taking 1  football out of her.. purse? Bag? Why not just carry the football there; there better be something else in that bag otherwise its a bit overkill. Did I not say ‘quarterbacking 101’ last week?  I’ll check.

How about them using the FIELD without permission? No way Gil or Kaz knows about this … hey what if they happen by just for some business, or the grounds crew may need to cut the grass, or often the field is needed for another sport,.like …soccer. ‘Hey coach, yeah I dont play for your little soccer team anymore but I was here first so your team will have to wait for me to show this dope how to hand off because the dicks on the football team dont give a crap about anything except limiting summertime.  All kinda stuff here thats just wrong wrong wrong. How on earth would she know about handoffs when you cant even use your hands at all in her previous sport? And how about P3, how the hell does she get off saying such a presumptuous remark when she’s only known the guy for 2 weeks at most? ‘You suck, and  you’re not capable of timing or technique, even though you’ve played football at least 2 seasons’

Our video today shows turnabout, a guy teaching a girl:



  1. I’m sure that somewhere along the line we’ll get a brief mention of Heather’s dad being a college QB and how she used to hang out with him and toss the ol’ pigskin around.

    Whatever her football background may be, Heather has obviously learned The First Law of Milford Coaching: always be a dick to the person you’re trying to coach.

    Comment by John S. Walters — October 7, 2016 @ 10:04 pm

  2. Really. Without a backstory for Heather this is absurd.

    Her eyes get bigger and converge with each panel, sort of like an owl or some creepy Margaret Keane painting.

    Comment by teenchy — October 8, 2016 @ 8:57 am

  3. I forgot why that dad from Monmouth was brought into the story a few weeks ago. I think it’s been suggested he could this broads dad, I don’t know. Anyone?

    Comment by Jive Turkey — October 8, 2016 @ 9:23 am

  4. As the feature writer mentioned, I too was a bit befuddled by the unaccounted-for receptacle that our hero, Heather, is taking the football out of. Since I had 2 brothers that played football, I don’t recall their ever using a duffel bag or a Ziploc to tote a football to practice. And I ruled out the Bullwinkle Factor(“Hey, Rocky!!! Watch me pull this Nerf Football outta my hat!!!!!!”). Finally, I nixed the remote possibility that it’s a garbage can although for a split second my eyes played a joke on me. In the end, I’m positive there are no knee-length garbage containers(notice perspective in relation to Heather) liberally spaced throughout the stadium grounds.
    P2: “Try the New Improved Crest with Fluorizol!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 8, 2016 @ 10:26 am

  5. Yep, I’m convinced Gil and Kaz don’t make a habit of pitching used footballs so that later on somebody trying to make a little extra money can dig out of the receptacle to cash in at the Milford Recycling Center.
    “I trudge through the Bud Lite cans to yank this outta the dumpster and you’re 5 minutes late???!!!!!!!”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 8, 2016 @ 11:00 am

  6. Once again no explanation as to why Moose should be taking lessons from assistant trainer. Furthermore they are winning with the current QB. Whole plot makes no sense.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — October 8, 2016 @ 12:52 pm

  7. I know I’m in the minority here, but I think that in the Thorpiverse, this plot makes perfect sense. Lunky lineman wants desperately to be a quarterback (“You gotta be a foot-ball he-ro!” etc) and a girl with thus far unexplained expertise offers to help him. I suspect her Monmouth father probably did play the position, and that she soaked up her son-less father’s every word. She is tired of being an “also played” on the soccer team, and sees a chance to accomplish something in a field she has knowledge of. The paid coaches are trying to win games, and taking weeks to teach a Kevin Palooka how to play a new position makes no sense whatever. As far as field availability is concerned, I worked in high schools for almost forty years, and only after I retired did I see anyone use the football field on a Saturday morning. They’re too narrow for real soccer and the youth and age group football teams only began renting school fields after good artificial turf came in less than fifteen years ago. So, not to be a dickhead, I’ll say it again– so far this story makes sense to me. Incidentally, there is precedent in GT for cross-gender sports expertise. Lini Verde, the three point whiz of a few years ago, learned basketball from his mother, who had played professionally in Italy.

    Comment by vaganova — October 8, 2016 @ 1:55 pm

  8. Nice!

    Comment by LifeofaQuarterback — March 22, 2017 @ 11:07 am

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