This Week in Milford

October 15, 2016

Too Wet for a Bonfire, I Reckon


Milford is looking like Carter-Finley Stadium did last weekend and Gil has been following Notre Dame’s game plan. Why he has Hakeem throwing the ball in this weather is beyond me. Time for deus ex trainer Heather Burns to step in, tell Gil that The Secret Pelwecki has been practicing handoffs all week in the cafeteria and should step in to replace Archer. Gil will then either (a) ignore Heather’s advice, leading to Hakeem bungling a handoff and to a Mudlark loss (shouldn’t Mudlarks like playing in the mud?), or (b) take Heather’s advice and let Pelwecki lead the Mudlarks to victory, then admit that a girls’ soccer washout can do a better job of coaching his team than he can.

I’ll admit this contrivance isn’t what we might have been expecting but this arc is feeling just a bit too contrived. If only the girl kicker meme had been carried through; combined with the tough girl characters Rubin’s been introducing (if not developing) in the past several arcs, we could’ve been treated to a scenario similar to what North Penn (PA) football fans were treated to recently.

metapost: Thanks to Tim for covering for me on extremely short notice this past Thursday.



  1. Maybe Heather will covertly suggest to Hakeem that he throw a few on the sideline while keeping space between his palm and the football.

    Comment by vaganova — October 15, 2016 @ 11:11 am

  2. Touché, Vaganova.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 15, 2016 @ 11:34 am

  3. Y’know, it might have helped to simulate actual conditions while practicing handoffs with Doritos by running plays under cold shower heads in the Milford locker room. Their hands would be acclimated to the weather conditions trying to negotiate the two-hands-and-squeeze method with a soggy bag of Hot ‘n’ Spicy. Get with the program, Coach Thorp.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 15, 2016 @ 11:42 am

  4. Never heard of the space between the palm and the football technique. Wonder if Peyton Manning and Tom Brady utilize that approach or if that is a QB Whisperer Heather secret.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — October 15, 2016 @ 1:53 pm

  5. I have not heard it described that way myself, but the fact is that it’s almost impossible to put a tight spiral on a football if your palm is on it. Palmers (such as the Joe Kapp of the CFL and then the VIkings in the late 1960s) tend to throw shot-duck wobblers. Just as in basketball, big hands are a distinct advantage.

    Comment by vaganova — October 15, 2016 @ 3:28 pm

  6. All that I have to contribute is that Peyton Manning makes waffles on Sunday morning
    (cue Lionel Ritchie song)

    Comment by Gil's Barber — October 16, 2016 @ 5:19 am

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