This Week in Milford

October 21, 2016

Because I’m an insufferable douche that’s why.

Filed under: Gil Thorp, lame jokes, Milford Idiots, What the hell is going on here? — robmize2013 @ 7:49 pm

So now Gil has 5 QB’s and no tight ends. Unless he counts his ass and Kaz’s, which makes 2.  (I’m here all week.)  Nice roster management.

I now get the feeling that Pelweki may be recruited to play tight end, since why the hell would he need to watch FILM with 4 other guys? They need 5 quarterbacks like Gil needs a lemonade stand in the summer. If Gil already had 4, no way would he waste time with Kevin at practice, not if he had connected brain cells.  Every plot turn gets more ridiculous then the last in this strip. Next we’ll see Heather trying out for tight end. You watch. I’ll stay in bed.



  1. Will Heather now become the TE Whisperer? ‘Moose seem like a likely candidate for that position if Heather can coach him up. Heaven knows that the coaching staff is too busy to take on that responsibility.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — October 21, 2016 @ 7:55 pm

  2. The last word balloon in panel 3 has convinced me that everyone in Milford actually uses the position shorthand in common speech. So he’s actually saying “Quib,” not “Quarterback,” and they pronounce “TE” as “Tee” and “RB” as “Rib” and “OT” as “Ott.” Including Marty Moon on his radio show.

    It’s a little amusing game I can play while I wait for the fall plotline to dissolve into an Endless Pasta Bowl of loose ends. One that’s just as flavorful and authentic as the Olive Garden version.

    Comment by John S. Walters — October 21, 2016 @ 8:20 pm

  3. Woo, John S, that Olive Garden comparison is damning. The idea of Palooka being a fifth quarterback is bizarre, since I have never seen any of our local school teams carry more than three. There is this year’s starter, his successor in waiting, and a promising sophomore in case somebody breaks a collarbone. Whatever happens, this does not look like a traditional one for one roster switch. Only two things are certain– that both Heather Burns and Kevin Palooka will be in the middle of it, meaning no discourtesy to the real Kevin Pelwecki.

    Comment by vaganova — October 21, 2016 @ 9:19 pm

  4. I second that, vaganova….John S Walter’s Olive Garden line is funnier and more insightful than anything I’ve written on this blog in years.

    Comment by nedryerson — October 22, 2016 @ 2:13 am

  5. Gil, you’ve changed. I remember when you battled Jerry Pulver like we were seeing Lex Luger go after Ric Flair. Plenty of drama to keep us all busy, the sideshow remaining backstage. Now, it’s gonna take the Orkin Man to snuff out all the mice and roaches running here, there, and everywhere. The background in P1 should tip us off on the new-look Milford. Coach, since when did you suddenly begin to take an interest in Maxfield Parrish? No stray tackling dummy, standing askew, collecting dew and hasn’t been used since the Luke Bunkin days? No pedestrians, presumably students or teachers or both wandering on the set as if they got lost trying to locate The Bucket? This is not the Gil I’ve grown accustomed to seeing. You’re the coach but Milford and motif are antonyms in the Verbal Section on an SAT test.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 22, 2016 @ 11:45 am

  6. Since Alexander Calder has restructured the visage of Milford, we might as well grin and bear it. In the interim, our feature writer brings up and interesting point that I’d like to explore further. If Earl and Fred can’t move the chains and The Joker finds his rhythm at QB, it would indeed be a redundancy, like bad rape(what other rape exists?), to harbor Moose as a hanger-on when he might be proficient at TE. The QB Whisperer might be an unexpected aborted flight but too many planes grounded at the Milford Int’l Airport anyway. THEREFORE, Moose will have to change his practice habits as a (maybe)TE by, first, practicing his blocking technique on the Pepsi machine and, second, his catching with Ho Ho’s and Twinkies if a Grippo’s bag is unavailable(Heather: “Look it ALL THE WAY IN!!!!”). Factor in teachers on Cafeteria Duty willing to take one for the team and look the other way plus some unused lunch tables to work on receiver routes and Moose just might pull it off and all the plots shall be as one. Might.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 22, 2016 @ 1:22 pm

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