This Week in Milford

October 26, 2016

How Tight Of A Spiral Do You Think Kaz Can Throw Anyway?

Filed under: ?, Coach Kaz — timbuys @ 7:17 am

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Just as it looked like Moose Pelwecki was about to get a tryout as a ‘Big’ TE, we get this interesting scene which, as so often happens in Milford, raises more questions than it answers. Here are a few of mine:

Just how long was Kaz hanging out underneath the goalpost ready to sling that football?

Does he have a whole stack of balls there or just the one?

To what extent does the Milford HS coaching staff’s fixation on resolving the backup TE issue detract from their broader efforts to prepare for Madison?

Is it possible this is in fact the extent of preparations for Madison?

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10 Comments »

  1. Looks like Burns will become the new TE for Milford. Question: Is she more Gronkowski, or Aaron Hernandez?

    Comment by Carl — October 26, 2016 @ 7:43 am

  2. I’m sorry, I love panel 2. Kaz in his “The Kaz” persona is always a welcome sight, I don’t care what is going on in the rest of the strip. I’m tempted to start a band just to use it as an album cover.

    We’re getting a Pelwecki to Burns TD (pronounced “tid”) connection at some point this season… will it be enough to get Milford into the playdowns? No, no it won’t.

    Comment by billytheskink — October 26, 2016 @ 8:12 am

  3. I’d buy that album Billy. Was hoping for a “Oh my Nose!” A la Marsha. Good thing Kaz said “catch”.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — October 26, 2016 @ 8:29 am

  4. I’d love to see Heather become an unlikely star of the football team, but a couple of nits to pick:

    — Wouldn’t she be more plausible as a wideout or slot receiver? TE usually requires some heft. In high school, “Tees” are predominantly blockers, not pass receivers.

    — She caught the ball in panel 3, but her form is terrible. You don’t lean to one side as if avoiding the ball and catch it with your hands, you draw the ball to your body using your hands and arms.

    Comment by John S. Walters — October 26, 2016 @ 8:30 am

  5. John, on your first nit: before Coach Kaz tests her hands, he should test her blocking ability. Most high school coaches who find themselves desperate for help at tight end will teach the blocking assignments to some reasonably capable reserve guard. And, if you don’t have a tight end or reasonably capable guard, your season is pretty much over, anyhow, so it doesn’t matter what you do.

    Comment by Philip — October 26, 2016 @ 11:22 am

  6. Maybe they’ll replace the TE with a Burns as a slot WR in the base offense? Ooooh, offensive innovation in Milford! Yes, they’re coming to this roughly 20 years after every other high school in America figured out that good slot CBs are rare at that level, but, you know. Baby steps.

    Comment by Tracer Bullet — October 26, 2016 @ 11:41 am

  7. Some valid(and funny) observations on Heather’s possibilities. And I agree with billytheskink as(to me, anyway) Kaz’s features would make a perfect Frank Zappa-Grateful Dead design straight from the Keep on Truckin’ era of the ’70’s(guess I’m showing my age-ha).
    Interesting artwork in P1. Kaz and Heather are evidently unaware of the unexplained phenomenon in the hinterlands. The Blob? I don’t recall it eating trees. Cthulhu? Is this what H. P. Lovecraft was talking about? Dunwich Horror Revisited? At the Mountains of Madness making the hills of Milford look like Mt. Everest? Is Arkham really Milford? So THAT’S where Miskatonic University is located. Always wondered. And I hope a giant squid didn’t escape from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. God Almighty.
    A more plausible theory would be the Thorpberry tree, named after Gil’s grandfather, Ebenezer Gamaliel Thorp, which mooches on other elms, maples, oaks, hackberries, etc., and is similar in structure to the ailanthus. Its fruit is used in pies at Thanksgiving. City ordinances to contain its growth have been blocked by the Milford Preservation Society.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 26, 2016 @ 12:55 pm

  8. I agree completely that this is nuts, and that playing Heather will involve a cascade of unlikely changes, but mostly I think “Damn, this is going to be fun.” Could the rugby player who crashed onto the basketball team last winter have been a trial balloon for playing a girl at a position which involves catching passes, but more often flattening opposing linemen and cornerbacks?

    Comment by vaganova — October 26, 2016 @ 2:28 pm

  9. (I am of course anticipating the bullying Valley Tech cornerback complaining “‘ou ‘roke my yaw…”)

    Comment by vaganova — October 26, 2016 @ 3:32 pm

  10. Give Heather props for being quick: she went from sleeveless to sleeved in the time it took Kaz to throw the ball.

    New post forthcoming.

    Comment by teenchy — October 27, 2016 @ 3:37 am


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