This Week in Milford

October 29, 2016

Crush With Eyeliner

Filed under: Coach Kaz, Coach Shaw, football, Gil Thorp, Mimi Thorp, Pissy faced Gil — teenchy @ 8:07 am


“No, let’s crush Heather’s confidence – and her body – instead.” Good job, Coach Shaw. You get more lines this season than you have in many and you’re ready to throw a girl under the bus. Meanwhile, the double entendres continue as Mimi quizzes Gil (who’s striking a Lincoln Memorial pose) about his past and future. I’m not even gonna take that bait today; y’all can run with that with your dirty minds.

5’8″, 150 is ridiculously small for a TE. Slot receiver, too. This coming from yhs who was a 5’8″, 190 reserve NT/ILB in high school. Granted that was during the Carter Administration and at a school in a town with one traffic light, but enough about me. I gotta start getting my drink on. The WLOCP is this afternoon and by all accounts it’s gonna get ugly fast.

Inspiration for today’s post title, as if y’all didn’t know already:



  1. Just a girl so what if she gets stomped. Is Donald Trump a part of the coaching staff this season?

    Comment by Bobby Joe — October 29, 2016 @ 10:38 am

  2. The coaches conspire to endanger an expendable girl — but hey, she’s a senior so who cares? We’ve got next year to worry about.

    Which is disturbing enough, but I’m bothered by Gil’s suddenly diminished physique. He’s looking downright unhealthy. Are we gearing up for a “Gil Fights Cancer” storyline, or is Whigham just getting a little careless?

    Comment by John S. Walters — October 29, 2016 @ 11:04 am

  3. Mimi: “You’ve had smaller players than Heather Burns, right?”
    Gil: “Sure.”
    Mimi: “What happened to them?”
    Gil: “Squashed like a bug on a windshield. First play, usually.”
    Seriously, why did Rubin choose to make the injured player a tight end? He could have chosen a wideout, and we would not have had to suspend quite so much disbelief. And part of the disbelief is: an experienced high school coach had only one player at one position, and had no plan B in the event that player was lost.

    Comment by Philip — October 29, 2016 @ 5:51 pm

  4. A Bullwinkle moment
    “Tune into our next episode for Crush With Eyeliner orrrrrrr What’s The Frequency, Heather?”

    Teenchy, sorry but again couldn’t resist(ha).

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 29, 2016 @ 6:34 pm

  5. Were Coach Shaw and Wolfman Jack separated at birth? Yes, they each pursued different careers, one as a famous DJ(“Look at those whiskers, Ma. Why he’ll be spinnin’ those 45’s in no time. Heck, he just got done takin’ his first baby steps.”), the other as an assistant coach who makes infrequent pit stops just to grease the wheels when the plot needs a jump. Only on the next Geraldo. The only thing missing is Coach Shaw complimenting Kaz on his earring(“That is so this year”). But I guess we can wait until next time when Coach Shaw again rises from the grave to perform his duties as a molder of young minds and storyline restorer.

    Since I’m binge-eating on REM, here’s a freebie,
    Heather Burns and the football game,
    Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
    Now Heather did you hear about this one
    Heather are you locked in the punch
    Heather are you goofin’ on Elvis,
    Hey Baby
    Are you havin’ fun.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — October 29, 2016 @ 7:40 pm

  6. Be nice on the backuup plan, Tight End was Pete DeWindt! Steady Pete, the guy you can rely on, not one of those flibbertigibbet Bacon or Liver guys!

    Comment by Drownedpuppy (@Downpuppy) — October 29, 2016 @ 8:30 pm

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