This Week in Milford

November 10, 2016

Undersized Hog

Filed under: actual action, football, Steve Boone — nedryerson @ 7:35 am

11102016

Check it out, it’s Steve Boone, Milford’s line coach making his second appearance this fall. He was yelling at sloppy hogs a few weeks ago when we thought The Secret Pelwecki was going to be all the rage. Now that we’re embroiled in the adventures of H.E. Burns, all catch/no block TE, it is great timing that Steve makes another appearance. Steve is a voice of reason within the Milford coaching brain trust. What are we doing with this undersized TE who can’t support our ground game, Steve asks. We’re right there with you, buddy.

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7 Comments »

  1. Hey Jimmy Graham can’t block either. But I guess she’s no Jimmy Graham.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — November 10, 2016 @ 8:19 am

  2. To put it the other way, “Why are we running plays that spotlight her weakness?” Like I said yesterday, there are plays you can run — both running and passing — that don’t cast Heather in the role of road-grader.

    Comment by John S. Walters — November 10, 2016 @ 9:21 am

  3. Coach Boone is getting to be like the catalyst on your car. He speeds things up but really doesn’t shake as part of the final product. A chemical reaction where a couple of the reactants dissipate up in smoke. At least that’s the plan so don’t hold your breath.
    And when Moose finally gets around to QB after being the right-tackle-linebacker-concession-stand-worker-hash-mark-liner-feeder-system-director-of-Milford-football and throws the winning pass to Heather in the State Playdowns despite the sleazeball tactics of the Ironwood Ingots that not only overlapped from baseball but are not above them being utilized against a defenseless female, Coach Boone’s spirit will be among us. But his physical presence will be ad astra until next year.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — November 10, 2016 @ 5:44 pm

  4. Bud Light presents REAL AMERICAN HEROES

    Today we salute YOU, Coach Boone, Mr. Permanent Cameo Coach Guy(“Mr. Perm-a-nent Cam-e-o Coach Guyyyyyyyy”).
    You bring out the best in your players with your minimalist, bare-bones approach. Why mingle on a short curl when you can run a chair pattern 50 yards down the field? Hey, the QB might see you and you make the TD catch then race towards the hedges to blend with the scenery. You can lead when Gil is at a loss for words then disappear off the face of the globe as if Gil was at a seance taking dictation.
    Player lost in the plotline? No problem. You can send some bloodhounds to the woods and fetch him and put the Prodigal Son back on the football field where he rightfully belongs.
    Plot per se mired in the swamp? You appear out of nowhere to contribute your 2 bits, a Johnny-Coach-on-the-spot(“John-ny Be Goooood”) when the team is on the ropes, misguided by Gil’s judgment that sounds like he’s had one too many tete-a-tetes with Mimi or by the art work that has been plagued by Crayola Crayons.
    If it’s 3rd & 5, you sure to call in the 800 Toll Free number(“The best things in life are freeeeeeee”) to divulge the winning stratagem so that Milford can go on to garner the laurel wreath at the end of the game. Short of a Vegas line, nobody does it better.
    So crack open a Bud Light, ol’ Mister Human 2-Minute Warning. Because without your presence, meager as it is, the clock would keep on ticking and Milford would run out of time.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — November 10, 2016 @ 9:01 pm

  5. Applause for the preceding.

    Comment by billytheskink — November 11, 2016 @ 8:41 am

  6. So your choice is between TEs that can’t catch versus a slow, diminutive TE who can’t block… Is Heather really that much better than a 3rd WR in that position?? Why the fuck does the TE have to figure so prominently in your offensive gameplan again when there are literally an infinite number of alternatives, limited only by imagination? (Of course Gil would have to grow a goddamned brain first, and that ain’t happening)… Why can’t they go with four wideouts, or run the Wing-T with two wideouts, etc? Oh that’s right — Gil never, EVER makes any coaching adjustments unless a random player comes to his office and suggests it…

    Comment by Hitorque — November 11, 2016 @ 9:06 am

  7. I am laying aside my humor temporarily to ask people to PLEASE remember our Veterans. They made the sacrifices so that we can enjoy the freedom of the funny bone in places like this.
    I would especially like to remember my grandfather, Leonard Thomas Hardin, a WWI Veteran, and my stepfather, Gabe Feltner, a WWII Navy Vetean for all their services to our country. Without them and ALL the other Veterans, our Constitution ceases to exist.
    Please consider taking 5 minutes a day to thank a veteran. I personally shake a Veteran’s hand but do whatever you feel comfortable doing. The main thing is to keep Our Finest in mind because they’re the REAL HEROES.
    Lest we forget.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — November 11, 2016 @ 11:35 am


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