This Week in Milford

November 17, 2016

Marty Prays For A Toad-Strangler

Filed under: Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp, Madison Time, Marty Moon, Where is Milford? — nedryerson @ 4:58 am


This is about as cutting a remark as we can hope for from Marty Moon, even though technically a heavy rain storm wouldn’t end the game early unless there’s some byzantine rules in the Valley Conference about weather conditions coupled with blowout scores. Note that Marty uses the colloquial term “gully washer”. Here’s an interesting look at some other regional variations (see “a heavy rain”). I didn’t quite find the definitive guide to the abbreviations used by that site, but if I’m reading that right, the term gully washer is in widespread use, excluding New England. Is this a clue to the location of Milford? Are we so deep in the weeds of this story line that things like this are commanding my attention? What if Marty had prayed for a turd-floater?

Moving beyond Regional English and Geography, we’ve got an awkward handshake with Tilden’s coach. It looks like Chris is really admiring Gil’s knuckles. Then Gil promises his team they’ll figure out what went wrong. That sounds like some sort of coaching. Good luck, Gil. At least we can look forward to Madison Time. If you want to practice, here’s a tutorial.



  1. Panel 2 shows us Gil not being a complete dick for the first time in months, and he’s congratulating the coach that just whipped his ass. I guess we know who the beta male is around here.

    Then he goes right back to dickishness. “Shake it off.” Wow, coach, that’s helpful. You just spent five minutes kissing the Tilden coach’s feet, and all you’ve got to say to your team is “Shake it off.”

    Also trying to “figure out what went wrong” is Neal Rubin, who lost track of his narrative threads so he could bring us the humiliation of Mudlark football.

    Comment by John S. Walters — November 17, 2016 @ 6:07 am

  2. Yeah, Gil seems a bit too happy to have his team’s collective asses kicked. “Finally, back to the humiliation,” thought the chronically submissive coach. “Another state championship and I’d have quit.”

    Comment by Moon Mullins — November 17, 2016 @ 6:26 am

  3. Man, we have been seeing a LOT of Marty lately. Personally, I could’ve done without the up the nose shot today though.

    Comment by timbuys — November 17, 2016 @ 8:04 am

  4. “Good game Chris. Congratulate your squad for me.

    I’d do it myself, but I can barely stand talking to my own players. Thanks buddy, you’re a peach.”

    Comment by billytheskink — November 17, 2016 @ 8:45 am

  5. Right Billy, I want to rip Gil for that comment too. He’s either too good to congratulate them in hand shake line or in a hurry to grab that Schlitz tall boy of a pylon. Probably both.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — November 17, 2016 @ 10:18 am

  6. When did Marty change from The Scourge of Milford Sports to Tame Old Exposition Guy?

    Comment by John S. Walters — November 17, 2016 @ 1:23 pm

  7. I think the natives are justifiably getting restless with the Vanilla Deluxe edition of Marty Moon. His bark is not much better than his bite. Marty Moon lately is just another announcer in The Wall. Right now his declawed status is roughly equivalent to Snidely Whiplash or Dick Dastardly doing community service.
    “Coach T, you’re like butter, you’re on a roll(Gil rolling his eyes over the Stuart Scott cliches). Man, you’ve really stepped up your game. I saw that potential after you worked with Danny Tippett and I saw ol’ 4 eyes develop into a terror on the hardwoods. Ditto Jackie Hill in baseball. Coach, I take back all I ever said about you and will cast my vote for you this year in the Milford Athletic Hall of Fame.”
    “Um…er…thanks, Marty…uh, er, thanks a lot.”(Gil, to himself)”Geez, I thought I smelled something on his breath when he came into the room.”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — November 17, 2016 @ 3:19 pm

  8. In the old days (especially when Marty was drinking) he represented the Evil Biased Press. But notice that even last year, when Holly Whatshername came back and did genuine harm, Marty was the sap-victim. He has confined himself to the occasional snark for several years now. Must be Rubin is less hostile toward the press than his predecessors.

    Comment by vaganova — November 17, 2016 @ 4:05 pm

  9. I suppose since Rubin really is part of the press, he might be more sympathetic to Marty Moon. Still, he’s been writing the strip since 2004, and Marty used to be more meddlesome, even under Rubin’s tenure. Marty was making Gil’s head explode back in 2006. wonder if he’s run out of ideas for him.

    Comment by AirForbes — November 17, 2016 @ 6:38 pm

  10. Not know, Air Forbes. I admit I had forgotten Rubin had been at the helm as early as 2004, and it’s certainly true Marty has made an ass of himself several times since. “Run out of ideas” or “run to new ideas” may explain it. An ongoing nemesis requires stature, and Marty has really never had that. At his worst, he was a cartoon figure of a reporter on the make. No Lex Luthor there, no Javert from The Miserables. We may need to assent to the gradual disappearance of a recurring character.

    Comment by vaganova — November 17, 2016 @ 7:11 pm

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