This Week in Milford

November 22, 2016

The Milford High School Depth Chart Is Straight Out Of A Russian Novel


The strategy and tactics, on the other hand, appear largely derived from Beetle Bailey.



  1. “By midseason, Heather, you’ll probably start losing playing time to some underclassmen.”

    Wait, was Coach Dawes describing Heather’s role on the soccer team or the football team back in September?

    Comment by billytheskink — November 22, 2016 @ 8:18 am

  2. So they went from being so desperate at the TE position (but not so desperate that Gil would change his gameplan and offensive sets to compensate) that they had to bring in a random girl from the soccer team/trainer’s table and insert her in the game after one week of practice, to “oh yeah, we’ve had serviceable backup TEs all along!”

    I’d say “goodbye” to Heather Harbaugh-Largent here, but since this is the classic Milfordverse cliffhanger, Gilbert will tell Heather that she’s being moved to QB tomorrow…

    So what the hell happened to Kevin? This story arc was supposed to be about him, right? I mean, he hasn’t even tried to get up in Heather’s ass yet!

    Comment by Hitorque — November 22, 2016 @ 8:21 am

  3. @billytheskink: This is the part where I remind everyone that Heather abandoned the soccer team despite playing all four years because she wasn’t guaranteed the spot in the starting eleven which she thought was her birthright… So instead of practicing, improving her game, or god forbid ask the coach what she needs to do better, she simply quit to be a trainer.

    If Heather put in ten fucking percent of the effort into her soccer skills that she put into working with Kevin and the football team, she’d be all-district.

    Comment by Hitorque — November 22, 2016 @ 8:25 am

  4. Will Marty bring in the ACLU to get Heather’s job back ? Will the real Marty Moon please come out of the crate!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — November 22, 2016 @ 8:30 am

  5. Look at that face! Bad touch, Gil, bad touch.

    What do you think those two clowns are doing in the P2 background? Something magical, that’s for sure.

    Comment by g2design — November 22, 2016 @ 8:35 am

  6. I would say the fall story has gone off the rails, but I’m not sure it was ever on the rails to start with.
    Is there anything anyone cares about? Will Moose get a few snaps at QB? Will Paul Beaudry, JV tight end, do a better job blocking varsity defenders than Heather did? Will Heather join the cross country team to go along with her short stints at soccer, ankle-taping, and football? Most importantly … when will Rubin pull the handles on this meandering blunder of a plot, and go to basketball?

    Comment by Philip — November 22, 2016 @ 10:09 am

  7. Nice face in panel 2, Gil! Do you always suck on a lemon before cutting a player from your team?

    Comment by Moon Mullins — November 22, 2016 @ 10:24 am

  8. How bout Heather’s face? Is Gil just feeling the material of her shirt? Gil has entered creep mode.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — November 22, 2016 @ 11:22 am

  9. It would be so awesome if next Gil says “But hey! Don’t feel bad, we’ve got an even better role in mind for you!” and then pulls out the Mudlark mascot outfit.

    “Here, put this on, you can be Muggsy Mudlark! No blocking of 220-lb defenders ever! Of course, the occasional kid will throw a juice box at you, but this thing can weather the storm!”

    Comment by Moon Mullins — November 22, 2016 @ 12:37 pm

  10. I believe the two clowns in the background are Kaczinski and Shaw, still dumbfounded by Heather’s insight. To cite Poe, they have not learned that the best place to hide something is in plain sight.

    Comment by vaganova — November 22, 2016 @ 1:37 pm

  11. An appropriate response from Heather to Gil. Where is Dr. Pearl when you need her?

    Comment by teenchy — November 22, 2016 @ 3:17 pm

  12. It appears that Coach Kaz is playing “Chopsticks” on a toy piano. Coach Shaw is turning the page. You know how complicated these chords get.
    And Gil’s hair is too mainstream. I’m used to his looking like the lost member of the Everly Brothers(or Louvin Brothers, FTM).
    Otherwise, I will defer to the hilarious comments made thus far. It’d be wise to be like Heather and let Paul Beaudry run with it. I can always try out for basketball, if and when the season starts, more if than when at this point.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — November 22, 2016 @ 7:42 pm

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