This Week in Milford

December 3, 2016

Take That, Jerks!

Filed under: actual action, football — nedryerson @ 9:28 am


The Secret Pelwecki sniffed out the screen. We can’t see the whole formation, but we’ll presume that there were some Valley Techsters in place over there somewhere to block for the receiver. Like Austin Shuford, The Secret Pelwecki can make magic happen and he just juked his way into the backfield. We get it. Heather Burns strategies imbue the Mudlarks with otherworldly gifts. This is our story.




  1. Now will the Secret Pelwecki take the final snap at at QB?

    Comment by Bobby Joe — December 3, 2016 @ 9:31 am

  2. That’d be great. I wonder if Gil has heard of Joe Piscarcyk? Spelling might be way off.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — December 3, 2016 @ 10:13 am

  3. Panel 3: I have spent several minutes trying to figure out which legs are attached to which hips, which arms are attached to which torsos, and how all the disconnected lower-body and upper-body parts might be rejoined. I’m going to go lie down for a bit.

    Comment by Philip — December 3, 2016 @ 10:14 am

  4. That would be awesome! Secret P fumbles the snap in victory formation, VT recovers and throws a Hail Mary to take the lead with 30 seconds left. Milford gets the ball at the 20, and after a completion to Heather Burns and a series of laterals, the mudlarks fall short. Tragic end to a tragic season when Heather is T-boned on the way to the bucket, and in tribute to her last name, little free libraries across Milford are set alight.

    Comment by Nate — December 3, 2016 @ 10:47 am

  5. I’m always impressed by how star-filled the skies are for the Mudlarks’ night games. If they don’t have an observatory set up locally, they should! The sky is as clear as on top of Mauna Kea.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — December 3, 2016 @ 12:28 pm

  6. Actually, I think that might be a lateral, not a screen. Either way, good thing Valley Tech went with the screen. Seeing as how Pelwecki vacated the line to pursue a back into the flat, a draw play would have been an easy TD (pronounced “Tid”).

    Comment by John S. Walters — December 3, 2016 @ 2:03 pm

  7. The contributions by everybody today are hilarious but Philip has spurred me to action in relation to P3.
    Stephen King has drawn inspiration from this, well, phenomenon, to instigate proceedings on a rough draft for his next novel about a multi-legged creature that escapes the Milford Nuclear Power Plant due to careless mismanagement of chemicals and/or security that will haunt the Milford football team, home and away.
    Them! and The Deadly Mantis and Tarantula have already been taken for titles and I don’t think The Mudlark from Hell or Heather’s Centipede will work(“The centipede attacked Gil like Dewey Evans running it out at 1st”-sorry, Stephen, LOVE your work, but couldn’t resist). Any suggestions are appreciated.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — December 3, 2016 @ 2:51 pm

  8. I’m also seeing the lateral, @JSW, and *also* seeing a pylon in the background of P2. Assuming that’s not some random pipeline marker (can’t rule that out), that the end-zone. 3rd-and-6 means VT probably started this drive at their 20(?) The Secret jumps the route (well, that’s a generous description), grabs the pick in full stride and with 6 yards to glory… gets pulled down short of the end zone. The Secret – all hands, no speed.

    Having zero faith in his offense, and Heather out of ideas, Gil will take a knee several times rather than punch in some insurance points. So, playdowns?

    Comment by g2design — December 3, 2016 @ 5:46 pm

  9. Those really are a lot of legs. Maybe we should think of Odin’s horse Sleipnir the Eight-Legged. For a long time it was thought that that horse in the the epics really was supposed to have eight legs, but more recently it’s got more visual– we think the inscriptions were an iron age attempt to depict motion. Works here, in any case, and if you’ve ridden an Icelandic horse at the tölt, “the fifth gait,” you might think eight legs were involved.

    Comment by vaganova — December 3, 2016 @ 6:27 pm

  10. I should have said “stories,” not “epics.” The epics tend to be pretty literal and relatively free of divine intervention.

    Comment by vaganova — December 3, 2016 @ 6:30 pm

  11. Panel 3 makes a little more sense in color, except that leg #4 has red pants & a black sock. Looks like a left shoe, but the angle of the ankle means The Secret is a squirrel.

    Comment by Downpuppy (@Downpuppy) — December 4, 2016 @ 9:15 am

  12. […] to you… and almost nobody uses fullbacks anymore, not even Coach Thorp.  You can tackle and ballhawk and you’ve got long hair, right?  Worked for Polamalu and Matthews.  Now go wash that […]

    Pingback by Making Calls, Squeezing Balls | This Week in Milford — September 2, 2017 @ 4:53 pm

  13. […] football. They can, however, run or pass the ball so Pelwecki’s okay wearing the same #55 he wore last season (yay continuity!), at least on this play. Will Gil’s brand of smashmouth football win the […]

    Pingback by Before the Concussion Protocol, the Tackle-Eligible Protocol | This Week in Milford — September 30, 2017 @ 9:44 am

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