This Week in Milford

December 5, 2016

Misdirection Implied

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Lens Flare — nedryerson @ 4:31 am


Yay! A game ball? That’s kind of an unusual thing for Gil Thorp. Is it actually for Austin or is Heather jumping the gun?

Do they really have to ride all the the way back to Milford in full pads? Is the whole team on one bus?

ETA: Upon further examination, I think the most pressing question about today’s trip is: Why is Heather invading Austin’s space so aggressively? She’s literally in position to stick her tongue in his ear. It’s just weird.


  1. Since Gil seems to be distracting the bus driver, it’s probably a good idea for them to be in full pads. Who knows how much he was drinking during the game.

    Comment by Gil's Barber — December 5, 2016 @ 5:14 am

  2. So is Heather getting the game ball for (a) throwing a devastating and maybe illegal block, or (b) doing the coaches’ job for them?

    Well, we know the answer is (c) showing true sportsmanship by accepting her greatly diminished on-field role.

    And for doing the coaches’ job for them.

    Comment by John S. Walters — December 5, 2016 @ 5:26 am

  3. 1. Who in the name of Christ wears pads on the bus?

    2. Why is there only ONE bus? Especially one with seats only nominally wide enough to seat one passenger instead of the usual two?

    3. *WHY* the fuck is Gilberto awarding a gameball on the bus instead of in the locker room, like how pretty much every other coach has always done?

    4. So one clod who we’ve never heard of all season and inconsequential to the plot makes one play and he gets a gameball? Or is this some kind of head fake to award Heather Spurrier the gameball after putting in her usual workwomanlike effort of 1 catch for 8 yards??

    5. No playdowns? Actually, forget that and let’s just pull the plug on this abortion of a football storyline… Even by it’s own abysmal standards, this season has been disjointed, uninspired and lame, with huge leaps of logic… Rubin needs to step his fucking game up.

    Comment by Hitorque — December 5, 2016 @ 7:41 am

  4. No playdowns at 5-2-1 in the Valley Conference, unless it is a bad Valley Conference with a lot of parity, I guess. It would seem only the conference champion makes the playdowns in the Thorpverse. The most recent Mudlark playdown teams were 8-0 (2014), 5-0-1 (2003), and 6-1 (2001) in conference play.

    Comment by billytheskink — December 5, 2016 @ 8:44 am

  5. It’s possible, even likely my experience was an outlier, but we’d suit up in our own lockerroom and pile on the (single) bus to to away games. Never did see the inside of the host team’s visitor lockerroom until halftime. Now, that was my 7th grade C-Team experience, so individual results may vary.

    *I guess the school bus destiation sign might say “Milfoad”; in my world they say “School Bus” or “Charter” or nothing at all.

    Comment by g2design — December 5, 2016 @ 8:48 am

  6. The Pelwecki should get the game ball.

    Heater Burns gets an embossed clipboard.

    Comment by Downpuppy (@Downpuppy) — December 5, 2016 @ 8:51 am

  7. I hope you don’t mind but I edited to add the Lens Flare tag.

    Comment by timbuys — December 5, 2016 @ 3:36 pm

  8. There is an episode of the Simpsons where Bart and a couple of the bad kids are day dreaming as they look at clouds. One of them says,”That one looks like a bus load of kids going over a cliff.”
    I don’t want that too happen but it’d sure be cool if bus driver slammed on brakes and Gil goes through the windshield. An example has been set. No standees fool !

    Comment by Jive Turkey — December 5, 2016 @ 6:02 pm

  9. I agree with Hitorque. I had 2 brothers that played football and I don’t recall their cramming players, student managers, a few fans, assistant coaches, head coach, equipment, etc. in one bus unless someone was promoting a Greyhound-cram to raise money for the team.
    Let’s say, for arguments sake, that P2 point of view is located 3/4 of the way to the back of the bus. Doing a quick head count, I came up with 9 players, give or take a player or two taking into account that the back of someone’s helmet might be a gigantic ash tray or a Martian. And using the algebra and it’s real-world applications that I knew would come in handy when I took it my Freshman year in high school, I came up with a range of 14-16 players altogether.
    Now factor in, again for argument’s sake, that an average high school team fields 40-60(possibly more) players, WHERE THE HELL IS THE REST OF THE TEAM? On the Chisholm Trail with the rest of the longhorns? Man, I know some people disappear in the Bermuda Triangle but this is ridiculous. FedEx will be busy the next couple of days, hauling all that equipment to MHS unless someone crammed it all in someone’s trunk. If you see a Delta 88 with an abnormally bulging rear end, you’ll know the contraband.
    “Oh, look, dear, there’s an Amish family walking home.”
    “Honey, when’s the last time you saw a Mennonite with shoulder pads and mouth guards?”
    P1: “Go Milford, and leave the driving to us.”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — December 5, 2016 @ 8:41 pm

  10. Now I know why the Pony Express went out of business. All the horses got worn out moving all that equipment(or players?) back and forth for the away games. Gil would have to finally break down and get more busses. The budget hearings at the Milford School Board meetings must have been something. Shouting matches galore.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — December 6, 2016 @ 6:37 am

  11. Yup, The rest of the cows, er, players ought to be easy to locate. They’re the ones with the Circle M on their rumps. Saints be praised Gil thought of a branding iron.

    ned and timbuys, you guys have inspired me to imagine the possibility of Heather and Austin meeting again, only under VERY different circumstances.
    Fast forward 10 years and Heather is da woman on The Bachelorette. She has pared her choices down to John Doe and Austin. We follow the comments therein…”and I will always be grateful for your courage and your guile, like when you faked Valley Tech out of its socks on that draw play. Don’t think I have forgotten. It will always be in my memories when I think of you. But I’m giving my rose to John. I feel he is someone I can share the rest of my life with and continue this journey called love. I want to have his children. You understand, don’t you?”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — December 6, 2016 @ 5:53 pm

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