This Week in Milford

December 8, 2016

Summer Will End In August, Right??

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Prairie Style Windows — nedryerson @ 4:30 am


Wow! Gil’s really thinking ahead. He usually waits for volunteer coaches to drop from the sky at the last minute.

Lots of intersecting lines today.



  1. “And maybe fill out this huge stack of forms? And maybe do the team’s laundry? And maybe re-sod the field? And maybe overhaul the bus engine?

    … And say, you wouldn’t have a sister who knows something about basketball, would you?”

    Comment by John S. Walters — December 8, 2016 @ 6:37 am

  2. Gil at least has an excuse here, I think. Head coaches are often not allowed to officially run high school summer programs and 7-on-7 squads, so he would need volunteer coaches.

    It must be a heck of a project Heather has if she’s telling Gil that these volunteer coaching opportunities that don’t begin for 6 months will have to wait until after she’s finished. I assume it involves The Secret Pelwecki.

    Comment by billytheskink — December 8, 2016 @ 8:08 am

  3. Shhhhh

    Comment by g2design — December 8, 2016 @ 8:29 am

  4. 1. Wait, Milford also has a 7-ON-7 team? How the fuck does that work?

    2. Next summer wouldn’t Heather “Bear” Bryant, you know, BE GETTING READY TO GO TO FUCKING COLLEGE AT IOWA??!? Why wouldn’t she show up in Iowa City early during the Hawkeyes’ summer practice so she can shadow a REAL fucking coach and team for a change?

    3. So is this the end of Heather Lombardi? Are we sure she isn’t the granddaughter of Phil Jackson so she could help out the basketball team, or that Tony LaRussa isn’t her great uncle so she could manage baseball?? A shame she isn’t related somehow to Luis Figo, which maybe would have meant she wouldn’t have sucked so hard in soccer before quitting…

    Comment by Hitorque — December 8, 2016 @ 8:50 am

  5. 4. I just want to reiterate that Gilberto Fuckin’ Thorp, a grown-assed man, just asked a 17-year-old girl to HELP HIM COACH NEXT SUMMER(!)

    How? Why? What is the witchcraft that allows the worst coaches in the state of Ohio (or wherever the hell they are) to stay employed?

    Comment by Hitorque — December 8, 2016 @ 8:53 am

  6. Pretty sure Gil caught one look at those earrings and thought “Assistant Coach Material!”

    Comment by drewfunk — December 8, 2016 @ 12:03 pm

  7. Forgot to mention Gil’s obvious glee at snagging a free assistant. Panel 2 features the biggest smile I’ve seen on him since I don’t know when.

    Comment by John S. Walters — December 8, 2016 @ 12:15 pm

  8. The wolves are hilariously having at it with this one and rightfully so. I humbly offer my take situation and to do so, I resort once again to Monty Python which I feel would be apropos, given that Heather has finally made it out of this byzantine Hall of Mirrors while Kevin is bringing up the rear, having crashed into a couple of expensive specimens and STILL hasn’t made it out.
    It is practice on a given Autumn day. We let the plot(yeah) take over:
    “No, Moose, don’t blindside him. They’ll call clipping every time.”
    (Throws a shoulder pad in disgust, barely missing a couple of Mudlarks). “I’VE HAD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t take anymore of this, Coach T!!!!!!!!!!!!
    “Settle down, Moose. We’re just talking about your blocking technique.”
    “It’s just killing me, Coach. I’m gonna go out of my mind!!!!!!!!!!!”
    “Moose, look, we’ll give you a few snaps at QB, if that’ll make you block better. But don’t unravel at the seams.”
    “That just isn’t it, Coach T.”(Moose takes off his uniform to reveal a red-and-white flannel shirt and Dickie pants, with hiking boots.) “I never really wanted to be a football player. No no no. I always wanted to become…(as the scene changes abruptly from Milford to the Pacific Northwest, replete with pine trees, sounds of buzzing saws, and soft singing from a Canadian Mountie chorus in the background. A Milford girlie girl steps out of the bleachers to worship Moose in admiration) a LUMBERJACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    Moose starts singing
    “I cut down trees
    I go to class
    I practice after school
    I hack at trees and blocking schemes
    Just like a rum-bling fooool”
    This same Canadian Mountie chorus, Coach Kaz and Coach Shaw with their spiffy Mountie outfits and hat among them, sing the chorus
    “He cuts down trees
    He goes to class
    He practices after school
    He hacks at trees and blocking schemes
    Just like a rum-bling fooool


    Moose starts the second melody line like so
    “I disappear
    I reappear
    Take orders from a girrlll
    I wish were like Heather
    She’s conquered all the worrlld”
    The Canadian Mounties once again
    “He disappears
    He reappears
    Takes orders from…um, er, huh?


    Somewhere we here the girlie girl boo-hooing and blubbering “…and I thought he was so RUGGED.”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — December 8, 2016 @ 12:18 pm

  9. If she’s really going to Iowa for football, band, and maybe even class, it won’t be until at least their third game, around mid-September like Tru did at WF…

    Comment by Jim — December 8, 2016 @ 1:07 pm

  10. Some strong work today forcing me to choke down laughter here at work, especially T. Drew Hardin and drewfunk.

    Comment by billytheskink — December 8, 2016 @ 1:31 pm

  11. Thanks, billytheskink. I figured management was worried about their numbers for the week when they’d drop by my work area and “You’re awful quiet this week”(ha). People like you egg on my sense of humor. Outrageous but clean I always tell people. The successes I’ve encountered come with a little help from my friends. You da man.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — December 8, 2016 @ 7:49 pm

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