This Week in Milford

December 9, 2016

Next plane to Iowa now boarding

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 7:33 pm

I know when I was a senior in high school, not only did I not give a rats f**k what anybody that was Still There next year would be doing, I certainly wasnt Telling them what position to play on the football team! But here we are…

Pelwecki looks like he cant believe a senior is predicting that he should give up on his dream of being a QB and settle for the dirty work of FB, a position that is almost extinct in the NFL, and depending on the style of offense used in the many high schools, perhaps is a non-active role, but certainly can be useful given certain circumstances. In other words, there’s hope for him yet. Hey, he’s even gonna score touchdowns. Even though he has a coach that doesnt coach blockers to block so he can get thru the line etc..

I think Heather’s gone far far beyond her boundaries in this storyline; remember when she was a bored soccer player? She’s getting like a piece of clay, molded into whatever the day calls for. Trainer, check. QB coach, check. New TE? Check. OC? Check. Dont tell me Gil’s already planning next years offense when he couldnt be bothered to train enough tight ends to get thru half a season. Who else can play fullback besides a guy who wont be a lineman next year?  And who will replace Kevin on that line? Your move Gil. And he’ll still be jonesing to play QB.





  1. Well Pelwicki won’t let that stupid QB dream die even though he never advanced beyond 5th string. Wake up and smell the coffee dude.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — December 9, 2016 @ 7:41 pm

  2. Remember that maxim “That’s why they put erasers on pencils”? Whoever made that witticism had Moose and Heather in mind, particularly this season.
    Anyway, recalling the observation a while ago that Heather had a different color of hair from the day before, I put two and two together and found out, lo and behold, that Heather DOES have an identical cousin, Helen, who lurks the hallways and could(though I don’t know why as you’ll find out other than, well, again, the Erasers Theorem) drop into Coach Thorp’s or Coach Kaz’s office(or Coach Shaw’s rabbit hole) on a moment’s notice. Here’s a song in their honor(oh boy):
    (Sung to the Patty Duke Show Theme Song)
    Meet Helen who’s been most everywhere
    From Zanzibar to Oakwood Square
    What a crazy pair!!
    But they’re cousins, identical cousins
    That’s no lie
    One is marmalade quiche
    Other is burgers and fries

    Where Helen adores a minuet
    The Ballet Russes and crepe suzette
    To put the team ahead!!
    But they’re cousins, identical cousins
    Bear in mind
    You could lose your mind!!
    When cousins are two of a kinnnddd!!!!!!!!

    Finally, Moose, be on the qui vive, Big Guy. That may be Helen you’re talking to. Her accent is a dead giveaway.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — December 9, 2016 @ 8:47 pm

  3. Looks like Heather has absorbed all that Gil can teach her about being a coach: treating your athletes like dogmeat and shitting on their dreams. First, trick him into a questionable position switch and then taunt him about his forlorn hope. “Sure, Kev, maybe play a little QB” [eyeroll]

    Comment by John S. Walters — December 9, 2016 @ 9:07 pm

  4. Nice work, T. Drew!
    I could hear the song in my head.
    Perfect cadence AND funny.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — December 9, 2016 @ 9:29 pm

  5. Thanks, Moon Mullins. One of my favorite song verses comes from Norman Greenbaum which shapes my philosophy of humor who sang: “…soon as what’s in ya comes out!!” If I let it flow, it’s amazing what flows. Thanks again. You da man.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — December 10, 2016 @ 7:16 am

  6. I was going to ride off into the sunset but, OMG, this is a recreation of a scene where Heather(or Helen?) tries to turn Joe Perry into the next Franco Harris. Well, after “Walk This Way”, “Train Kept a-Rollin'”, and “Dream On” streamed out of the former and 4 Super Bowl rings streamed out of the latter, I think Iowa could be Heather’s(or Helen’s) El Dorado.
    P1: Nice Elvis the Pelvis pose from Joe. In the ’50’s, they would have shown him and Heather(or Helen) from the waist up.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — December 10, 2016 @ 7:50 am

  7. […] Observant commenter Downpuppy just pointed out that the Pelwecki at fullback scheme was revealed at the conclusion of last years fall plot. Thanks […]

    Pingback by Fullbacking For Dummies | This Week in Milford — July 17, 2017 @ 7:44 am

  8. […] hang onto a ball if it was tied to you… and almost nobody uses fullbacks anymore, not even Coach Thorp.  You can tackle and ballhawk and you’ve got long hair, right?  Worked for Polamalu and […]

    Pingback by Making Calls, Squeezing Balls | This Week in Milford — September 2, 2017 @ 4:53 pm

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