This Week in Milford

December 20, 2016

The Stud Earrings Clinch the case

Filed under: basketball, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp, metapost, Prairie Style Windows — timbuys @ 5:21 am

December 19, 2016

Metapost: I saw there was no post last evening but I wasnt in the mood to throw it up, but today it was skipped so I inserted the 19th for continuity.  Aaron looks ready to rumble all right; love the no-defense dunk in practice. Gil sure is teaching that side of the ball well. First rule in basketball: Rest on offense, never rest on defense.


December 20, 2016


The moment it occurred to me that Aardvark might be Kaz’s illegitimate son was the moment I decided to move on from this.

Please make your case for greatest all time Milford Centers in the comments.



  1. What happened to Gil? He’s barely half Kaz’ size in panel 2. But hey, he’s still fully capable of Being A Dick, Thorpstyle: “Yeah, Aaaaron had a good practice, but he still sucks.”

    Coach ’em up, Gil!

    Comment by John S. Walters — December 20, 2016 @ 6:20 am

  2. I’m concerned about the other guy, who still hasn’t been named this year (is he a returning player? I just started reading GIl again after a few years’ hiatus). Is he apparently doing the coaching this year? And when Flaaky Aaron Aagard flakes out again, is he, the guy who shows up to practice on time and plays hard and all that, going to turn on him, setting him up to be either the villain or the cause for Aaron’s redemption?

    No, Nameless Guy deserves his own plot. I demand a plot for Nameless Guy!

    Comment by drewfunk — December 20, 2016 @ 7:23 am

  3. 1. That bigass school, and the best they can muster is a scrawny 6-7 player?? That would make him a small forward in college…

    2. Is there some kind of Milford Athletics Hall of Fame I should know about, given Gilberto’s propensity to name-drop stars from the past??

    3. Typical Gilberto… Has a problem with a player, and talks about it behind that player’s back instead of addressing him directly…. Great “coaching”

    4. Where is know-it-all Heather Burns? I mean, if she’s even watched a couple of NBA games in her lifetime she’s already a more qualified coach than Gilberto….

    Comment by hitorque — December 20, 2016 @ 7:40 am

  4. Best center ever? What about Molly Kinsella?

    Comment by Dood — December 20, 2016 @ 8:21 am

  5. Thanks for saying it for me, Dood.

    Comment by vaganova — December 20, 2016 @ 9:12 am

  6. On the girl’s side, Molly Kinsella is not a bad choice, but I might have to go with Lisa Wyche.

    Shayla Madden was the starting center on the Milford team that went deep into the playdowns in 2005.

    Kenya Beale gets credit for playing center at 5’7″ and putting up with Hadley V. Baxendale’s bizarre push to “market” the Lady Mudlarks by telling the media how short the team was.

    And let’s not forget Kenzie Hanley, who was a big reason that the Lady ‘Larks had their best season since 2007 last year.

    On the guys:
    Trey Davis was very good. He began his career as a goon with a shaved-head, angry with Valley Tech transfer Derek Gordon for… reasons, and then blossomed into a division 1-caliber recruit with a full head of hair who shied away from large schools because he hated the attention of being recruited. He wound up at College of Charleston.
    He’s probably best known for going toe-to-toe with the nation’s top high school player, Jaquan “The Don” Case of Bishop James Tardy, as a junior in 2005, dropping 21 points and blocking Case twice before fouling out. He would later run into Case at a summer basketball camp where an AAU coach from Dallas (complete with ridiculous cowboy hat) tried to recruit him as part of a scheme to funnel recruits to a college whose boosters were funding said AAU program.

    Jack and Les Neemy were quality frontcourt players on Milford’s 2002 state championship team, but the real stars of that squad were guards Gary Stephens and Danny “Nails” Randolph.

    Andrew Gregory was a very good center as well, probably the best player on the 07-08 and 08-09 teams.

    Bible-thumping, goggle-wearing Cortez Beecher was perhaps not an all-time great center, but certainly one of Milford’s most intimidating interior players.

    Comment by billytheskink — December 20, 2016 @ 9:21 am

  7. Gee, I didn’t know Andre the Giant was helping out with the team. He must be working with the likes of Aaron Aardvark so our Disco Dan doesn’t get pushed around underneath. Post play in February can be brutal. A Vertical Suplex would come in handy in times like these. It’s a shame Maniac Mark Lewin wasn’t available. A Sleeper Hold is a godsend come the Playdowns.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — December 20, 2016 @ 10:17 am

  8. Thanks for mentioning Cortez Beecher, Billy! The character popped into my head as I was writing this but I couldn’t be bothered to look him up. Didn’t Cortez have a chance to play college ball somewhere or am I imagining things?

    Comment by timbuys — December 20, 2016 @ 12:36 pm

  9. I don’t believe there was any follow-up on Cortez Beecher. He played basketball for two seasons (10-11 and 11-12) and was the closer on the baseball team for two seasons (11 and 12) and then that was it. He played a large part of the story in his first basketball season, as the red herring in the case of the Lini Verde-bashing website, but was relegated to the background in his second season… to the story about Ransom Hale’s real-fake New Zealander bootleg DVD and tattoo scheme thing.

    Comment by billytheskink — December 20, 2016 @ 2:08 pm

  10. […] I’ll come back and update this post. In addition, Aaron started the season wearing uniform number 24 but since the second Central game has switched to number 11. Today he’s conceded #24 to the […]

    Pingback by An Insult to Poodles | This Week in Milford — March 25, 2017 @ 9:19 am

  11. The all time greatest Milford center and no one has mentioned Clyde Bean from the early 1980’s? With guard Ernie Fenton, this dynamic duo were Stockton and Malone before john and Karl played for the Jazz.


    Comment by David Will — July 18, 2017 @ 5:54 am

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