This Week in Milford

December 31, 2016

Up and Downsville

Filed under: actual action, basketball, big arms, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 3:13 pm

A few years ago I was at a local town meeting about some issue, and my neighbor down the street stood up and said “I dont want to have the last word but…” but he did as nobody else spoke and the meeting adjourned. Well it looks like I have the last word for 2016.

The Downsville Eagles are a real high school team in Downsville New York, so the Larks either boarded a plane or else that bus smelled pretty raunchy from the long trip with unis on. Hopefully Aaron stayed for the New Years party at Times Square after the game; I know all-nighters are a thing for him so why not practice what you’re good at? Maybe Ryan Seacrest needs the night off and AA can host.

Then they play boring ol Tilden in the Valley and AA is back to his C game. Coaches cant figure it out; the answer will be revealed by May, but already if you’re not fed up with looking at this weirdo you’re in the minority.

And yeah he scored 18 blah blah but did they win? I know plenty of guys who scored a lot and their teams were under .500 for their career. Pete Maravich in the NBA was a great example. In his 8 full seasons his team had 1 winning record. One. And LSU never made the NCAA tourney while he was scoring 44 points a game for 3 seasons. Yes I know it was harder back then to make the field but still, winning basketball is more then 1 guy racking in all the points. Wilt always outscored Russell but who had more rings? You think I didnt get tired of watching Michael score 35 a game for the Bulls and go 0-9 in the playoffs before he figured out if he shared the ball they’d win more? 6 banners in the United Center tell that tale.

Yeah good thing Paul Beaudry got hot. Why are the coaches worried about who scores how many? I had said before that defense is more important anyway in hoops. With those wings AA should be blocking shots like Akeem the Dream or Ewing  back in the day. Thats what you do when the shots arent falling. But he gets alligator arms like in the commercial with the check on the table.. and I can see him enjoying that duck too!



  1. We seem to have concluded that Aaron is unfocused and ineffective.
    Is this a metaphor for the way Rubin has handled this strip the last few years?

    Comment by Philip — December 31, 2016 @ 3:39 pm

  2. Just want to point out that there really is a Downsville, New York. It’s in the Catskill Mountains, with the Pepacton Reservoir looming over it like the sword of Damocles. I suspect Whigrub threw a dart at the map to choose it: Downsville, population 617, would not likely play Binghamton, population 49,000. If you ask teenagers there where they’re from, they say “Downsville, man…”

    Comment by vaganova — December 31, 2016 @ 3:42 pm

  3. As many of our contributors and our feature writers have mentioned, Aardvark’s “Go ahead you can laugh all you want, but you got no philosophy” outlook(God, I love Ben Folds’ music) is wearing a bit thin and we’re still not out of 2016. If this were the Sahara…

    Should there be a P4(P5, etc.) it COULD continue with this most unlikely dialogue(which is scary):
    “Maybe we should make him eat his vegetables and read him a bedtime story. I’ve got ‘Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs’ on my daughter’s bookshelf.”
    “You might also want to ask him if he took his Flintstones Chewables before the game.”
    “Did Coach Shaw locate any Wheaties in the pantry?”
    “Nope. Home visit fell through. Just a half a box of Cocoa Puffs and Uncle Ben’s Brown Rice. Oh, and some leftover Red Lobster Alaskan Salmon.”
    “Call the Milford Food Bank on Monday. Order 10 boxes of Wheaties and 4 boxes of Total. The whole grain stuff. And tell ’em no Lucky Charms this time. He couldn’t sit still for 2 minutes on Marty’s radio show, he was so wired.”
    “I’m on it.”

    Today’s headline from the Milford Enquirer

    “Marty Moon: ‘Those Are Outrageous Lies From Peaches. Marjie And I Have a Professional Relationship And I Don’t See That Changing.'”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — December 31, 2016 @ 5:53 pm

  4. Love Gil’s Eddie Murphy Delirious jacket. Good Ol’Gil Thorp. How I hate him.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — December 31, 2016 @ 7:06 pm

  5. Vaganova – I said Downsville was in New York in the post. Thanks for the info about Catskill – home of Mike Tyson.

    Comment by robmize2013 — December 31, 2016 @ 7:45 pm

  6. robmize, I missed your mention of Downsville– careless reading on my part. Catskill, NY, is on the river directly across from Hudson and likely to join it as a hipster haven, while Downsville is deep within the Catskill Park. The only outsiders who commonly see it are trout fishermen and weekend mountain climbers. Rod Serling, who grew up in Binghamton, might well have cast Downsville as a time-warp destination. I should take an afternoon to see if they still have an Atlantic gas station and a Rexall drugstore.

    Comment by vaganova — January 1, 2017 @ 1:38 am

  7. Thanks for picking that one up, rob. I was so uninspired by the strip when I looked at it in the a.m. that I could never bring myself to go back and spit out some takes.

    The most prodigious scorer of my time was Chris Jackson (who is now named Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf) of LSU. As a freshmen, his scoring average was above 30 pts/gm. and he had several games with more than 50 points. He probably still has single game scoring records in several SEC venues. I know he poured in 53 against the Gators at the O’Connell Center in 1988. (Maravich scored 52 against the Florida in 1969.)

    billy’s W/L total for the record book is going to be a mess. Two games mentioned with no result.

    Happy New Year!

    Comment by nedryerson — January 1, 2017 @ 9:21 am

  8. One of Rubin’s consistent faults as a storyteller is how he drops crucial information into a single strip and then fails to hammer the point home. The vast majority of comics readers don’t pay close attention and don’t keep track of plot details unless they’re repeated.

    With Aaaaron, there’s been no mention of his clubbing proclivities since the very beginning of the storyline. Most readers will have missed and/or forgotten that. If the raves are causing his sluggishness, we should have a scene of him dancing the night away in Sin City between the Downsville Donnybrook and the Tilden Tilt.

    On the other hand, there might be an explanation for his sluggishness right there in the foreground of panel 2. Is that a basketball, or are they playing hoops with the prize pumpkin from the Tilden County Fair? That thing would make anyone sluggish.

    Comment by John S. Walters — January 1, 2017 @ 5:56 pm

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