This Week in Milford

January 2, 2017

Pete De Windt v. Kill The Noise

Filed under: Coach Kaz — nedryerson @ 6:32 am


It’s time for Neal Rubin to revisit Aaron Aagard’s “origin story” and remind the readers that AA is a big fan on electronic dance music. Aaron is passing up a shindig at Pete De Windt’s to check out Kill The Noise at the Grande Ballroom.

Pete De Windt saw a lot of action last year. He was the starting TE at the periphery of the Heather Burns story. He was part of a double play combo with Barry Bader. He plays some unspecified role on the basketball team too, but for plot purposes, he’s just a guy whose game after parties are too tame for the likes of Aaron Aagard.

Aaron needs that grinding pulse of EDM to get his blood pumping. What better way to address that need than checking out Kill The Noise!  Like with Backyard Tire Fire, Rubin has decided to name check a real musical act and of course I’ve never heard of this act because it’s EDM and I confuse Skrillex with a medicated acne pad. Mike Granger’s reaction suggests he feels the same way about Kill The Noise.

It’s not my cup a tea either, but what do I know:





  1. The Grande Ballroom was a legendary Detroit concert hall back in the heyday of Iggy Pop and the MC5 and Grand Funk Railroad. Rubin’s roots are showing.

    Comment by John S. Walters — January 2, 2017 @ 6:38 am

  2. Somehow, I don’t picture Neal Rubin as the type of guy that would go see Iggy smear himself with peanut butter and roll around in broken glass, but maybe he at least wrote about it in the school paper.

    Comment by nedryerson — January 2, 2017 @ 8:43 am

  3. Does Mike Granger think anyone could turn down a really loud band in the Grandey Ballroom?

    Comment by vaganova — January 2, 2017 @ 8:45 am

  4. I guess I did miss the significance of Grande Ballroom as an iconic Detroit slice of music history. Do yourself a favor and do a google image search of Grande Ballroom posters and check out all the acts that rolled through there in the late sixties and delight in the psychedelic design of those posters.

    Comment by nedryerson — January 2, 2017 @ 8:58 am

  5. So, we’re finally finding out exactly where Milford is (or at least a general region). To be able to play in a Friday night basketball game, and still make it to a concert at the Grande Ballroom (even if the show starts at midnight), you’ve got to figure it has to be less than a 3-hour drive to the Grande Ballroom at 8952 Grand River Ave, Detroit, MI 48204. That puts Milford either in Michigan, Ohio or perhaps northeast Indiana.

    And although Rubin’s situation suggests it should be Michigan, everything else about the strip seems redolent of Ohio. That’s where I’m putting my money.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — January 2, 2017 @ 11:59 am

  6. As long as Aardvark is going to get silly and flaky on us, I might as well dip into the Monty Python archives again to speed up the process.

    “Atta way to get the dog kennel, Aardvark!!! We don’t ever want to give the enemy second-chance points!!!”
    Gil arrives, sneaks his Milford KFC late lunch under the bleachers, then catches Kaz’s jubilation just in time.
    “Kaz, I may be Old School but we used to call that a rebound.”
    “OMG, Gil, NO!!!!!!! Don’t mention that word to him!!!!!!!”, Kaz says, goggle-eyed.
    Slight look of astonishment.
    “What’s up with that?”
    “If you say ‘rebound’, he wraps a giant jock strap around his head. It takes Rick several minutes with his scalpel and surgical scissors to free him from his misery. Hey, Gil, I gotta take a whiz, you take over. Remember what I told you.”
    Feeling as if he got broadsided by the Milford Express
    “No, Aardvark!! Get your butt out and extend those elbows and get him outta there!! We don’t want a cheap lay-up because you were too lazy to get the dog kennel.”
    Aardvark turns around, confused. Gil tries again.
    “Block out your man when the free throw is getting shot!! I don’t want any gimme dog kennels for an easy putback.”
    “Coach, isn’t the Milford Dog Kennel on the other side of town?”
    “Dammit, Aardvark, GET THE REBOUND!!!”
    Aardvark swiftly spirals a giant jock strap around his head.
    Coach Kaz, zipping up his pants in time, looks at Gil in disgust. Coach Shaw comes out of the wrestling mat. Rick Scott arrives just in time with his medical bag.
    “Did you say ‘rebound’ after I told you not to? Now I have to stand in this Rubbermaid 32-Gallon trash can, face the opponent’s basket and sing ‘America the Beautiful’ and ‘God Bless America’. We MIGHT NOT have to sing the Milford Fight Song.”
    Kaz turns around and faces the other end while Coach Shaw gets in the Rubbermaid with Kaz and does the same. The players at that end halt their shootaround.
    “O beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain…”
    “…God shed His grace on Thee…”
    “…white with foam, God bless America, my home, sweet hommmme.”
    The operation is a success, Rick Scott swipes Gil’s KFC, Coach Shaw slips behind the padding.
    “OK, Gil, don’t. Just DON’T.”
    Gil is star-gazed but willing.
    “Look, Aardvark, dog kenneling is crucial to our game plan. We got a big squad this year. If we can outdogkennel the opponent, I’m likin’ my chances for the ‘W’, not to mention the Playdowns. We already have good scorers.”
    “Coach, don’t you mean ‘rebounding’?”
    A ray of hope
    “Why, yes.”
    “Coach, if you mean ‘rebound’, why not just say ‘rebound’? It’s very confusing saying ‘dog kennels’.”
    “Because you wrapped a giant jock strap around your head when I said ‘rebound’.”
    Here we go again
    Coach Kaz comes back out, Rubbermaid in hand, Coach Shaw ogles Gil with a “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING” leer, Rick Scott to the rescue, Tod Andrews appears from Oakwood, the Milford Choral Singers, Milford Philharmonic Orchestra, Milford Chamber Quartet, Milford HS Choir, and the Milford Glee Club fill the gym up to the rafters. Trainer Scott has a machete for good measure.
    “… purple mountain majesties…”
    “…stand beside her and guide her…”
    “…we’ll back you with a Rah Rah Rah, all hail to our Milford High!!!!!”
    Things return to normalcy. Heather walks in.
    “Coach, let me talk to him. Big Guy, meet me Saturday morning here at 10:00AM sharp. I got a couple of tips my dad taught me on rebounding when he played JV.”
    Aardvard reacts. Everybody groans.
    “BUT IT’S MY ONLY LINE!!!!!”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — January 2, 2017 @ 12:09 pm

  7. The geographical location of Milford is a common source of speculation in these pages. The creator of “Gil Thorp,” Jack Berrill, hailed from Connecticut and was known to say that Milford was an imaginary town in that state. Rubin is a longtime Detroit newspaper writer, and sometimes name-checks people or places from southeast Michigan. On the other hand, he often name-checks high schools located in far-flung areas of These United States, so who knows.

    There is a “Milford” in the exurbs of Detroit, but the name was chosen by Berrill, not Rubin.

    Comment by John S. Walters — January 2, 2017 @ 3:11 pm

  8. Having a Milford kid go to a city for music never seems to end well– it’s often reminiscent of what happens when the Lone Ranger says “Tonto, you go to town.” Even Boo the Resourceful got her tires slashed. And we have days to figure out what calamity awaits Aa Aa. I have a feeling this time it will be worse than being too sleep deprived to play well.

    Comment by vaganova — January 2, 2017 @ 3:18 pm

  9. Yes, John S has it right– back in the late 1950s, Mfnrd was understood to be “someplace in rural Connecticut.” But since then it has felt more and more like “unlocated Midwest.” I’m not sure we can pin it down to a state, especially when Rubin fools us by having the Mudlarks play in New York or Louisiana without any trains or airplanes being involved.

    Comment by vaganova — January 2, 2017 @ 3:22 pm

  10. Just to be clear, the present Mfnrd Milieu bears no resemblance to that of any town anywhere in Connecticut.

    Comment by vaganova — January 2, 2017 @ 3:24 pm

  11. I’ll take a shot at the mystery of Milford. Sometimes it seems it’s Illinois. Or Michigan or Ohio. Apparently it started in Connecticut. I will as MASH (Molbile Army Surgical Hospital) as a guide in this acronym.
    MILFORD !!!

    Comment by Jive Turkey — January 2, 2017 @ 4:05 pm

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