This Week in Milford

January 11, 2017

Forensic Stat Sheet Analysis?

Filed under: exposition comics, Gil Thorp, Pissy faced Gil, Prairie Style Windows — timbuys @ 10:30 am

  011117

Not much to say about today’s strip other than that, as someone who has been known to have a messy desk, I am truly in awe of the multiple stacks of paper taller than Gil’s coffe mug on his desk. No wonder he doesn’t have time to coach with that much paperwork.

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12 Comments »

  1. I would interpret the stacks of papers as a protective shield. Whenever someone comes in to ask him something, he shuffles the papers, sighs heavily, and says “I don’t know HOW I’m going to get all this work done!”

    In fact, those papers have been on his desk for years if not decades.

    Comment by John S. Walters — January 11, 2017 @ 11:42 am

  2. I would interpret the stacks of papers as a protective shield. Whenever someone comes in to ask him something, he shuffles the papers, sighs heavily, and says “I don’t know HOW I’m going to get all this work done!”

    In fact, those papers have been on his desk for years if not decades.

    Comment by John S. Walters — January 11, 2017 @ 11:42 am

  3. Good observation, John S. Walters. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if his application for the coaching position at Powell College is buried somewhere in the Tower of Babel.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — January 11, 2017 @ 11:48 am

  4. So, despite being a tall person from Indiana, I did not play basketball in high school. Do most players usually bring their own clipboards into the locker rooms with them? Is that a thing? Or is Gil having Mike help out with his stacks of paperwork?

    Ok fine, I got nothing today. Prediction time!

    The “Molly” Aaron was referring to actually is a girl named Molly. Who does Disco Biscuits with Aaron. Reverse Red Herring!

    Comment by drewfunk — January 11, 2017 @ 12:03 pm

  5. Ken Brown, the Answer Man! Fearing substance abuse and other concerns with AaAa, Ken does some back channel work and discovers a viable center-in-waiting. Ken, you’re not bringing in “a situation”, you’re bringing in THE Situation!

    C’mon, kick AaAa to the curb and give the Laposta a chance. He looks like direct replacement to me; just compare one with the other.

    Warning: You can’t unsee these links. Certainly SFW, but you’ve been warned.

    Comment by g2design — January 11, 2017 @ 12:45 pm

  6. “So,” Gil said, leaning forward with a troubled expression. “You’re telling me our center may be a hop-head? I thought he wasn’t getting enough sleep with all those AP courses.”

    “That’s about it,” Ken Brown replied. “Mike and I, we think it’s MDMA.”

    “This MTA stuff sounds pretty bad. If it makes him sluggish afterward, why does he keep taking it? Hmm. I know! I’ll talk to Coach Kaczynski. He’s much more hep to this kind of thing.”

    “Gosh, coach,” Mike Granger interjected. “That’d be swell!”

    Comment by vaganova — January 11, 2017 @ 12:46 pm

  7. Funny, drewfunk. My nephew played freshman basketball and varsity baseball and I don’t recall computer printouts of the stats being handed to him after the game. I’ve lived in Indiana most of my life where(same being said for Kentucky) high school basketball is arguably a way of life and my nephew didn’t receive a term paper assignment(500-word essay on “How I Spent My Time on the Court”) along with his Algebra I and World History homework. I always figured numbers-crunching and clipboards both belonged to the coaches.

    The Hardy Boys enter Coach Thorp’s office

    “Coach, we looked at the stat sheet and saw that Aardvark isn’t a factor in the 2nd half. We noticed that’s when his diarrhea kicks in. We ruled out his BO. Nobody’s armpits smell THAT bad.”

    Alternate scene

    “Coach, we think it was Marty Moon with the rope in the conservatory. We don’t think it was Colonel Aardvark. He was hoppin’ at the KTN concert with Mrs. Molly Peacock.”

    Today’s headlines from the Milford Enquirer
    “IRS Nails Gil Thorp On Suspicion Of Tax Evasion!!!”
    “Coach Thorp: ‘The Mounds of Paperwork On The Desk and Keeping Players Happy With PT Is Just Stressing Me Out!!!”

    “Has Marty Moon Been Abducted By Aliens??? Unconfirmed Reports Tell of a UFO Landing Right Outside The City Limits.”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — January 11, 2017 @ 1:36 pm

  8. Doesn’t the coach pass around a copy of the stat sheet after the game? It looks like Mike Granger and Ken Brown, boy detectives, are looking at it in the locker room. In Gil’s office, Mike is I think carrying his trig book and a copy of Ethan Frome. Note that Ken, whom I think is captain, speaks in a declarative sentence, while Mike equivocates with “I mean we think we do. It’s kind of possible but I’d hate to be put under oath about it, so we’re going to drop it on you and skate off to The Bucket.” By the time the DEA gets there, Gil will be telling Dr Pearl “It was just a rumor. I can’t pull the plug on my team every time some kid admits he’s been fantasizing about Molly Kinsella.”

    Comment by vaganova — January 11, 2017 @ 2:38 pm

  9. I washed towels and kept stats for the basketball team in high school. The stats were for coach’s use only, and he was not happy when players asked me about them. The idea of a clipboard in the locker room with that night’s stats seems unrealistic to me, but that is based entirely on my one single experience.

    Comment by billytheskink — January 11, 2017 @ 2:42 pm

  10. billy, your experience trumps mine, as I never played organized basketball. But in the team sports I did play– baseball and soccer– the coach put out the statistical results in the locker room.

    Comment by vaganova — January 11, 2017 @ 3:22 pm

  11. I haven’t been back on this site in three years but I’m glad you guys have kept up the snark and Rubin and Chief Whigham have still been boring the tens of readers that read the strip. What happened to the bonfire at the beginning of the football season?

    Comment by southmauldin — January 11, 2017 @ 6:51 pm

  12. Welcome back Mauldin. I just returned from a several year hiatus myself.

    Comment by drewfunk — January 12, 2017 @ 11:02 am


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