This Week in Milford

January 19, 2017

Say Hello To The Nice Man, Molly

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — nedryerson @ 4:57 am


Well, that’s over. Now what?

Unless, Molly’s answer is: Saturday? Um, what did we do? Oh yeah. We scored a crap ton of Disco Biscuits from some guy from Kill The Noise’s road crew, at least I think it was MDMA… it might have just been speed, it’s hard to tell anymore with all the stuff that’s out there. Anyway, we had so much left over that Saturday we crushed the rest of it up and snorted it out of each others’ butt cracks! Then we stayed up til dawn watching C-SPAN! It was a blast! Nice to meet you, Coach Dork!



  1. So where does this go from here. Seems like there is nothing left to this story. Maybe we get more insight into Aaaaaaron’s strange relationship with his mother.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — January 19, 2017 @ 7:43 am

  2. Aagard’s leading questions to “Molly” (what, is she 5 years old?) make this thing sound like a ruse to get Gil off his back. In fact, I’ll be disappointed if it is not. I’ve still got a little stock in the theory that Molly is actually Aagard’s mother.

    Comment by billytheskink — January 19, 2017 @ 8:29 am

  3. Huh. I just can’t even. The P3 is the classic (talking right at you) composition which usually signals, “And they lived happily ever after.” There’s *got* to be more going on here.

    Comment by g2design — January 19, 2017 @ 8:52 am

  4. How times have changed. Maybe I’d old-school Thorp but I don’t recall Coach T. in his Sunday-best at Basketball/Football/Baseball/Hockey/Cross Country/Field Hockey/Swimming & Diving events. I guess I expect too much.
    While I’m rolling with the punches, come, dear Christian brothers and sisters, let us reason together as Molly answers the altar call with Oral Roberts in P1.
    “Have ya truly rece-ived Jesus in yore heart?”
    “Oh yes, I have decided to follow him”
    While “When The Roll is Called Up Yonder” is softly played by Coach Kaz on the sax.
    “Halle-LOO-yah, the an-gels in Heaven er re-Joyce-ing!!!!!!!”
    Aardvark and Molly receive a Holy Joe tract. The next two months will deal with their follow-up program to quiet the legitimate concerns of our writers. The Plan of Salvation takes time.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — January 19, 2017 @ 9:11 am

  5. “Oh, and this is my mother, Ecstasy. And my aunt, Mary Jane.”

    [Snickers to self, resumes taking prodigious amounts of drugs]

    Comment by John S. Walters — January 19, 2017 @ 9:26 am

  6. So, since we’re only in the middle of the school basketball season even for the real world, where can this plot line go next? As others are saying, this one is getting wrapped up in a bow a little too quickly and too easily.

    Therefore, let me be the first to postulate that Molly here isn’t actually really named Molly at all — she’s in on the ruse to get Coach Thorp off Aaaaron’s trail. In fact, she’s even drawn to look somewhat Asian in P3, which makes the Irish name even that much more of a key to the facade (clever, Rubin and Whigham!). The canned answers she’s giving, as if he went over them with her before the game, also seem a little too perfect, as is the fact she just happens to attend the school their next game is at.

    So who is the mystery lady? Could she be Aaaaron’s drug dealer, thus making a nickname of ‘Molly’ something that her rave clients gave her? And what about Aaaaron’s off-and-on exhaustion? You can’t attribute that solely to a girlfriend, and ‘chronic fatigue syndrome’ certainly doesn’t appear in bursts. In fact, this woman’s appearance at a game, combined with Aaaaron’s high-energy performance, suggests she might have even been able to slip him a little something before tipoff.

    As they say in the local news, only time….will tell.

    Comment by Moon Mullins — January 19, 2017 @ 9:35 am

  7. Darn you, John S. Walters! If I hadn’t taken the time to go back to edit my post one more time, I’d have gotten it in before you did. So now my claim of “let me be the first,,,” was beaten by a hair.

    Someday I’ll catch up to you and your nimble fingers. And then… watch out!

    Comment by Moon Mullins — January 19, 2017 @ 9:39 am

  8. I agree, obviously, that this is some kind of ruse, otherwise we have to change plot completely, in other words devise a real plot. I did go back to the strip depicting Aa at the Grandey Ballroom, but did not see anyone resembling “Molly O’Herlihy,” If Gil becomes suspicious of “Molly’s” bona fides, As will wheel out their mutual friends Juan Grady and Bernardo O’Higgins to testify on his behalf. All will be “recent transfer students” none of the other Tildonians seem to know.

    Comment by vaganova — January 19, 2017 @ 12:31 pm

  9. Apologies for the sloppy punctuation– I posted in mid-edit mistake. This also explains the malaprop “Tildonians” for Tildenites.

    Comment by vaganova — January 19, 2017 @ 12:35 pm

  10. Well, folks. AaAa did hint at some sort of reason why he would be the last person to use drugs, or words to that effect. Earlier, we had tired Mom for whom AaAa was offering to make dinner. There’s some backstory that needs to be unpacked still, I presume.

    Maybe the AaAa gobbling Molly story is like that first suspect you meet on Law & Order, the one the detectives initially suspect. Right after the first act break, they find out that prime suspect #1 couldn’t have committed the crime and then they turn their attention to the real doer, who was the guy you saw briefly in Act One answering questions on a loading dock

    Comment by nedryerson — January 19, 2017 @ 1:33 pm

  11. Ned may well be right, but if Aa is not a druggie, the story is over, with no other threads under development, unless Mama Aa is to be the (weakly foreshadowed and scantily revisited) story. I am guided in this case by the logically incorrect principle that if it walks like a molly user and quacks like a molly user, Molly the Tildenite is probably a ruse. But I’m forgetting Knox the boy attorney, Bobby the boy coach, et al– will Molly turn out to be the girl social worker, struggling to save Mama Aa from (fill in the missing term?)

    Comment by vaganova — January 19, 2017 @ 2:18 pm

  12. Being from Indiana, it’s like Milan High School winning the State Championship(roughly compared to Hickory Huskers in the movie “Hoosiers”) in January, the fans and admirers heavily celebrating the event, then the Milan Indians having to resort to dodgeball in gym class and paintball in Hoosier National Forest just to make things less anti-climactic in the next 2 months. Maybe Bobby Plump(hit the game-winning shot) could have taken up croquet or be an apprentice in the broadcast booth with Marty Moon just to keep it real. Yeah, that’s it, learn all the Moon buzz words if college basketball didn’t work out. The possibilities.

    Today’s headline from the Milford Enquirer
    “Turmoil On ‘The Bachelor’ Set!!!!!”
    “Marty Moon: ‘I Couldn’t In Good Conscience Give My Rose To Peaches.'”
    Sub headline
    “New Thayer Widow Receives Ultimate Prize”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — January 19, 2017 @ 4:56 pm

  13. Being from Kentucky, I never thought that this comic strip would be over my head. But it is.
    TG for you all.

    Comment by Gil's Barber — January 20, 2017 @ 5:25 am

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