This Week in Milford

February 6, 2017

That Presentation Was More Exciting Than This

Filed under: Boredom in Milford — nedryerson @ 4:46 am


This is excruciating.

The Dumpy Apartments on Poplar? You know them? Yeah? Well, you know Aaron lives there? Yeah? And his mom lives there, too? Yeah. Well, remember career day in 6th grade? No. Well try. Okay, sure. Remember Aaron’s mom’s presentation at career day in 6th grade? No. Well pretend you do. Okay. Remember how she had a job that nobody in the the class had the slightest idea what the job was but she still managed to convey that she makes solid coin in said job? No, I mean yeah, okay for the purposes of this conversation, yeah. So why do they live in a dumpy apartment?  I dunno, ’cause they’re poor now?





    (My thought upon seeing panel 3.)

    Comment by John S. Walters — February 6, 2017 @ 6:32 am

  2. Mike: “Remember 6th grade career day?”
    Ken: “No, I don’t. I was in 6th grade. I was twelve years old. My biggest ambition was to be bitten by a radioactive spider.”
    Mike: “Aaron’s mom gave a presentation.”
    Ken: “It was six years ago. If she had painted herself purple and played ‘Smoke On The Water’ on bagpipes, I wouldn’t remember.”
    Mike: “She was an acutalarian … or actually something … or something actually …”
    Ken: “You remember this? You haven’t needed those brain cells for anything else since 2011?”
    Mike; “So why are they living in a dumpy apartment?”
    Ken: “Beats me. Why am I here, and not in ‘Pearls Before Swine’? Why did they have a career day long before we were old enough to think about careers? Why are we having this conversation?”

    Comment by Philip — February 6, 2017 @ 7:28 am

  3. Who cares???? Maybe they can move into a van down by the river.

    Comment by Bobby Joe — February 6, 2017 @ 8:38 am

  4. I’m not offended at all that of the 2 lads the dumb white kid doesn’t know how to say actuary. That’s because hillbilly white trash isn’t a protected class.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — February 6, 2017 @ 11:12 am

  5. I’ve seen the Socratic Method move faster than this. In fact, if this were Paper Chase

    Kingsfield: “All right, class, we now focus our attention on an unusual case, Ahd-vahk vs. Ahd-vahk, a lesson on handling ones affairs in a more advisable manner. Fuhst, let us now explore the facts of the case. Mis-tuh Barlow.”
    Barlow:”Aardvark was leaving the locker room without giving Ken and Mike the secret handshake which pissed off the latter, causing them to search through his bureau so that they could dig up some smutty magazines to blackmail him with-”
    Kingsfield: “MIS-tuh Whetstone!”
    Whetstone: “Facts? In this strip?”
    Kingsfield: “MIS-tuh Franklin!”
    Franklin: “The community of Milford was wondering what Thorp and Kaz were doing at a Wendy’s downing a Budweiser, a gross violation of the Liquor Lease Statutes of 1937-”
    Kingsfield: “MIS-tuh Gray!!”
    Gray: “According to Labor Code 17a of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, Mrs. Aardvark had violated her Actuarial Science License Agreement by 1) Stating that actuaries were nothing but janitors with numbers in their head and 2) Getting out a cheapy pocket calculator out of her purse to calculate the probability of an accident at The Bucket when their 2-for-1 Special on root beer floats ran on Wednesday. This created prob-”
    Kingsfield: “MIS-tuh Schornhorst!!!”
    Schornhorst: “Mrs. Aardvark delivered a presentation to the 6th graders at Milford Elementary School on the subject of a career in the Actuary field. This had established a dangerous precedent set down by Dinofrio vs The State of Utah admonishing adults who were on speed, molly, crank, tater tots, etc. from lecturing preadolescents on a subject beyond their comprehension and would be better suited for Job Fair when they’re Juniors in High School especially when they have no clue what she’s talking about.”
    Kingsfield: “Thank you. The rest of the clahss would be advised to learn from Mr. Schornhorst’s example as he has cahp-tured the essence of the case. May I suggest a more careful reading of yore assignments will cehr-thinly aid in yore pursuit of yore law career. The clahss is excused. Good day.”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — February 6, 2017 @ 5:46 pm

  6. “Remember last week when we were talking about remembering the week before when we were talking about 6th Grade Career Day?”

    “Yeah, remember when we were talking about remembering talking about the time we talked about those dumpy apartments on Poplar?”

    “Yeah, and how about the time we talked about thinking about investigating –”


    Comment by John S. Walters — February 6, 2017 @ 6:16 pm

  7. Uh, because “dumpy apartment” is still 3+ rungs up from living with Bubbles in his sister’s basement? And a single mother working one job can’t afford better, especially if she wants to feed her son. Geez, Mike, get a clue. For once.

    Comment by g2design — February 6, 2017 @ 8:27 pm

  8. I’m going to have to start working the term “solid coin” into my daily conversation.

    Comment by J.D. Springer — February 7, 2017 @ 2:17 pm

  9. No post coming from me today if anyone else.woth the keys to the blog wants to give it a go….

    Comment by TimP — February 7, 2017 @ 3:12 pm

  10. If I can somehow get the keys to the blog, I’ll step in. My only access to a computer is my dad’s at work and he might not be thrilled but on the other hand, he loves good humor(Also the Google on my cell phone-ha). In the end, as long as the problem is solved, I don’t care who gets the credit. Keep me posted, one way or the other.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — February 7, 2017 @ 7:06 pm

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