This Week in Milford

February 15, 2017

McShanes Hardware – For All Your Escheresque Building Needs

021517

Folks, can we just mosey on past panels one and two? Thanks.

That brings us to McSHANES [sic], where we get a comparative bonanza of new information! Viz., Quad-A’s mother’s first name is Tina (not sure what street drugs that’s code for) and she’s in the back of a hardware store, which is presumably her place of employment.

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12 Comments »

  1. P1: macrocephalic Gil at the far left of the panel, Gil’s left arm (presumably) straight along the back of the sofa, and Gil’s left hand way off, turned at least 90 degrees in a direction where the normal human wrist has about zero degrees of free travel to play with.
    P3: someone is looking for AaAa’s mom. Probably not Granger and Brown; Rubin would have spent at least three days on those two deducing where she worked. So is it Gil? Or someone looking to return a malfunctioning dehumidifier? How ever will we handle the suspense?

    Comment by Philip — February 15, 2017 @ 11:41 am

  2. In panel one is that hand from The Addams Family or does Gil have a really long left arm?

    Comment by Jive Turkey — February 15, 2017 @ 11:41 am

  3. Phillip mustve beat me by mere seconds on the hand comment. I knew it was too obvious.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — February 15, 2017 @ 11:43 am

  4. Thanks, guys. Tags updated accordingly…

    Comment by timbuys — February 15, 2017 @ 11:48 am

  5. GT: So Rubin has finally jumped off the deep end and gone full Communist Romania in what was once dull, white bread Central Ohio…Worst Milfordverse storyline EVER. Gil casually gossiping about the vagaries of teenage high school life while chilling on the couch with his wife and his favorite zinfandel is always disturbing, but seeing him openly say he’s going to personally start snooping around the private/financial life of a player’s mom like some lawless Third World autocrat and his wife bemusedly responding that she has neither the ethical/professional/marital willpower or will to stop this chills my soul…

    GT 2: “Well, if two of my players who know jack fucking shit about how any adult, let alone a single mother allocates their income while managing living expenses and other financial liabilities say there’s something strange going on, who am I to doubt them? That’s enough of a reason for me to personally get involved! So what if these same two players already falsely accused my star of being a drug addict with no consequence whatsoever and the trust gap in the locker room is already wider than the Grand Canyon? I’m trying to win some basketball games to improve my seeding for the playdowns, goddamnit!! ”

    GT 3: You know what pisses me off the most? At the end of the day nobody cares about the wellbeing of Aaron or his mother. The ONLY reason why his personal/home life is everybody’s business all of a sudden is because Aaron committed the unpardonable sin of losing high school basketball games… If Rubin is trying to deliver a socio-political commentary by slowly morphing the familiar and beloved American institution of amateur sport into a dystopian satire, then full marks to him…

    Comment by Hitorque — February 15, 2017 @ 1:54 pm

  6. Taking Jive Turkey’s cue, you know things are getting skewered when Thing joins in on the conversation about Mrs. Aardvark while Lurch cuddles up to Morticia behind Gomez’s back and they all join in to shish-kabob her and her son. This unnecessary extension of a popular ’60’s show could have been averted and P3 left out by its lonesome today and our writers have more than proven they would still understand what’s going on. Not that we’re thrilled that (possibly) Mrs. Aardvark performs actuarial duties in a mom-and-pop hardware store. I’m sure there’s a connection but for all we know, she could be in back taking a dump because the latrine in her office next door is not functioning because she ran out of Liquid Plumber.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — February 15, 2017 @ 2:30 pm

  7. How did Mimi arrive at the assumption that Gil would be unable to resist poking around? This guy has no trouble resisting the basic requirements of his JOB, for Pete’s sake. Has he ever shown any sign of initiative about anything, besides drinking hooch and playing golf?

    Comment by John S. Walters — February 15, 2017 @ 3:05 pm

  8. When I was playing high school sports back in the upper paleolithic, we filled out contact forms to allow the coaches to immediately contact parents if there were an emergency– home addresses and phone numbers, workplaces and numbers, etc, so Gil’s finding Lovejoy’s Hardware Store requires no sleuthing whatever. Isn’t it possible he just wants to talk to Tinaa Aa and see if she has insight into Aa Aa’s crappy play, or to learn more about the home situation in order to deal better with Aa Aa?

    Comment by vaganova — February 15, 2017 @ 3:20 pm

  9. Interesting that you should ask about the name Tina, as it actually is (or was) a slang term for crystal meth in the gay male party subculture.

    Comment by nedryerson — February 15, 2017 @ 5:01 pm

  10. Thanks, Ned. See, that’s the kind of thing I never would’ve learned if I didn’t read this blog…

    Comment by timbuys — February 15, 2017 @ 5:11 pm

  11. I think the name of the joint where Mrs. ‘Vark works is actually McShakes (hard to tell from that sign) Hardware. Maybe it’s some kind of halfway house/job for recovering addicts who still have the shakes.

    Comment by J.D. Springer — February 16, 2017 @ 12:57 pm

  12. […] look out of place in Great Falls, either; I’m guessing on the opposite side of town from McShanes Hardware.) Then I noticed the chunky bracelet on the wrist of one of the Fun Girls from Central and realized […]

    Pingback by Alyssa? Explains It All | This Week in Milford — June 8, 2017 @ 5:13 am


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