This Week in Milford

March 16, 2017

If Gil Only Had the Nerve


Yeah, you called me on it, Tina
I’m just a Milford wiener
Don’t coach, I just observe

But now I’ve started meddlin’
Someone’s got some Oxy’s peddlin’
Yeah, I got a lot of nerve

Phallic trophies I may brandish
Thanks to golden boy True Standish
Honors that I don’t deserve

But my team’s been gettin’ beaten
‘Cause your Aaron ain’t been eatin’
But I got a lotta nerve?

Now don’t be getting nervous
I’ll be calling Social Service(s)
‘Cause they’re only there to serve us
And we don’t all always get what we deserve…

Then you’re sure to lose your jobs,
Your car, your son. Some nerve!

(apologies Bert Lahr)


Reason I like the color version of the strip today: without it, I’d have thought the furniture was made of the same plaster as the walls.

Reason I don’t like the color version of the strip today: Who has skintone teeth outside of a low-budget Hanna-Barbera cartoon?* Maybe I’m wrong and those are just Tina’s badly cracked lips.

*Speaking of meddlin’



  1. That was a wonderful song parody.

    Since Gil does something like this pretty much every year, one has to wonder how word has not gotten around town to all of the parents. Why do they even let him in the door?

    Comment by billytheskink — March 16, 2017 @ 7:24 am

  2. An unfortunate side effect of a bad Crystal jones (is there any other kind?) is Meth Mouth. I submit P3’s mandibular horrorshow as Exhibit #1.

    Comment by g2design — March 16, 2017 @ 7:52 am

  3. Seems they’ve edited out a little levity. After a couple of shots of some of Gil’s rotgut, Tina said,”I used to do drugs in the 60’s, now I don’t care what the temperature is!” Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
    Thank you Kevin Matthews.

    Comment by Jive Turkey — March 16, 2017 @ 8:27 am

  4. Great parody! But now I’ll have that song stuck in my head all day…..

    Comment by Moon Mullins — March 16, 2017 @ 9:22 am

  5. You guys are on a roll. I was going to write something lame about how Rubin had skipped the good part, namely how Gil managed to raise the subject.

    Comment by vaganova's snowblower — March 16, 2017 @ 9:39 am

  6. “I do NOT have a drug problem! I can get all of the drugs I need and then some from every two-bit pill mill within forty miles of this god forsaken tank town.”

    Comment by timbuys — March 16, 2017 @ 1:22 pm

  7. God, that song was funny, Teenchy. It makes a great accompaniment to the Freudian analysis we’re encountering in P1. So she won’t admit that she salivates everytime she watches a Lifesaver or Certs commercial-oops, that’s Pavlov, different psychoanalysis. Never mind.
    All the comments were great today but timbuys stole the show for me with his zinger. I was bustin’ a gut over his Don’t Go Back to Milford and Waste Another Year observation.
    And I now know what a Cornflake Girl looks like, the song Tori Amos poignantly sang from her Under The Pink album, proudly portrayed by Mrs. Aardvark in P3.
    Never was a Cornflake Girl, Gil.
    You go, Mrs. Aardvark.

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — March 16, 2017 @ 9:23 pm

  8. Hysterical song parody!

    I could be a better blogger
    And this plot would last more longer
    If I only had more tiiiime.

    Comment by robmize2013 — March 16, 2017 @ 9:30 pm

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