This Week in Milford

April 8, 2017

Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Pitcher


Rubin never fails to give us at least one unlikable Mudlark a season and this spring, Ryan “Cane” Van Auken is gonna be that guy. Rubin doesn’t always give us a troll right out of the box so credit where credit is due, I reckon.  Pete plays Henry Hill to Ryan’s Tommy DeVito and just like that we’re off and running. The as yet unnamed Milford mopes (the one far right looking a wee bit like another Ryan) at the end of the bench already have the two thousand-yard stare and the “not this shit again” look on their faces.

Whaddaya think’ll happen next? Gil and Kaz have a “lighten up, Francis” moment with Ryan? Big Ken Brown and Mike Granger, Boy Detectives, dig up dirt on “Cane” and get him in protective custody?  Dead bodies strewn all over Idaho? Stick around if you dare; between this and budding investigative reporter/softballer Dafne Dafonte, we’re in for another three months of rambling wrapped up awkardly in three days interesting times ahead!



  1. This plot is not boding well(already?) when the faces in yesterday’s P1 or today’s P2 are the same faces that graced Dr. Anton Phibes’ wooden musical band. I woulda compared Dafne to Vulnavia since they both can lead unsuspecting humans, whether from Egypt or Milford, to their doom but Dafne can speak.
    “They will pay for the benching of you, my dear Vic-TOR-ee-a, the team could have won the State. I will send locusts down Coach Kaz’s chimney.”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — April 8, 2017 @ 9:08 am

  2. There he is baseball season’s dick of the year, Cane Van Huffin Puff. I’m sure the season will be devoted to mellow in him out mixed with some intermittent baseball action.

    Comment by Bob Hricik — April 8, 2017 @ 11:00 am

  3. “Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.”

    Comment by John S. Walters — April 8, 2017 @ 4:18 pm

  4. All the elements are already set up. The Hardy Boys’ detective agency, the Hanging Judge, the psycho killer. A fun spring in Milford!

    Comment by Jusbcuz — April 8, 2017 @ 5:30 pm

  5. “Yeah, I know you from somewhere…hmmmmm…(GE light bulb, like an epiphany, pops(or poops, as I was about to text that was unintentional but strangely appropriate) up above Pete’s head)…I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You were part of The Sopranos!!!!!!!!!!!!”
    “Yeah, I exterminated half of New Jersey…is that a problem?”

    Comment by T. Drew Hardin — April 9, 2017 @ 9:58 am

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